[cookiegirl]

is this website, Cliff Yablonski Hates You. All this guy does is take random pictures (usually the freakiest of freaky people) and make up captions, but the captions are some of the funniest damn things I've ever read. I regularly have to get up from my desk and leave my shared office b/c I'm laughing so hard and trying to stop without getting caught. Enjoy!

A sampling:

I think I took this photo from a post-apocalyptic wasteland where mutants roam the plains like some really flaming version of Mad Max. They play that shitty music that sounds like electronic disco crap, the music that goes BOOM chick BOOM chick BOOM chick, although it does match the sound of BOOM chick I make when shooting and reloading my shotgun at these pathetic abominations. God I hate these multicolored shitsticks. I'd pour Drano in their Kool-Aid, but they probably already snort Drano and wouldn't feel shit.



One of the more well paid prostitutes that hangs out on 145th and Baker Street. If you give her $50, she'll let you put a bag on her head and then use it to punch through drywall. She only offered this deal to me after I had been drinking whisky for seven straight hours. Oh yeah, and then she WILLINGLY gave me my $50 back, despite what she may try to claim out of that toothless hole in her head.


DJ Plywood and MC 88 do a majority of the wedding receptions here in Appleton City. He says shit like "are you ready to get this party started?" and "who's ready to party?" and "oh my God, please stop, I beg of you, please stop." It's got to be a tough job for him since it's impossible to distinguish between the bride and groom in this diseased monument to failure town. If you don't believe me, take a goddamn look at DJ Plywood's face and MC 88's. You could fucking swap them back and forth and their own parents wouldn't even know, although that might be because they gouged their own eyes out during the spawning of these paste freaks.


More man than you'll ever need. Or want. To see. Ever. Ask this shitclown to lay down and roll over your next BBQ and you'll be set for life with all the diamonds he'll create.