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vikkii123

To Funny

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WINDOWS 98 BROOKLYN Edition

Dear Consumas:

It has come ta our attention dat a coupola copies of the WINDOWS 98/BROOKLYN EDITION may have accidentally bin shipped outsida Broooklyn. If ya got one a dese, you may need some help understandin’ da commands.

Da Brooklyn edition may be recognized by da unique openin’ screen. It reads: “WINDAS 98,” wit a background picture of Grand Army Plaza.

When you start da program, instead of da usual “harpy, stringy” music, you hear da teme from da Godfadda. It is also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava.

Please also note:

Recycle Bin is labeled “Staten Island.”

My Computer is called “My Friggin’ Computa.”

The Inbox is referred to as “Da Trunk.”

Deleted Items are referred to as “Wacked,”

“Erased,” or “Rubbed Out.”

Dial up Networking is called “Da Bar.”

Control Panel is known as the “Da Bosses.”

Performin’ an “illegal operation” is known as

“enhancin’ the family business” and

will actually maximize da program

instead of shuttin’ it down.

Hard Drive is referred to as “Da BQE Rush Hour.”

Instead of an error message a “You ain’t gonna

friggin’ believe dis!” pops up.

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN DA BROOKLYN EDITION:

OK...................Sure ting

Cancel...........Fugetaboutit

Reset.............Start Ova

Yes.................Yeah

No...................Nah

Find................Put a contract out on

Browse..........Get a looksee

Back...............U toin

Help................(Help ain’t available - yous

don’t need nostinkin’ help)

Stop.................Knock it off

Start.................Move it!

Settings..........Here’s d’ Rules

Also note dat any voice recognition software run on da BROOKLYNEDITION platform don’t recognize da letter “R.”

Some programs and udder accessories dat are exclusive to WINDAS 98:

Typa................A word processin’ program

Printa...............Printer

Calculata..........Calculator

Solitare.............Seven Card Stud

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you

received a copy of da BROOKLYN EDITION. You may return

it to Microsoft for a replacement version

Yeah so, Yous got a problem wit dat?

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I'm not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine

--Fritz Perls

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