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vision

Pickup Lines That May Get You Killed

18 posts in this topic

1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feedbag.

3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

6. My love for you is like diarrhea-I just can't hold it in.

7. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.

8. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!

9. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas,

could I meet you between the holidays?

10. You remind me of a championship bass-I don't know whether to

mount you or eat you!

11. Your parents must be retarded because you are special.

12. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

13. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

14. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth

open and I'll put my head in.

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Originally posted by vision

1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feedbag.

3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

6. My love for you is like diarrhea-I just can't hold it in.

7. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.

8. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!

9. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas,

could I meet you between the holidays?

10. You remind me of a championship bass-I don't know whether to

mount you or eat you!

11. Your parents must be retarded because you are special.

12. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

13. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

14. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth

open and I'll put my head in.

The worst that i ever heard was

"hey , do u have any irish in ya"?

i said "no"

he said "well do u want some"

that was soo corny:rolleyes:

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Originally posted by vision

9. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas,

could I meet you between the holidays?

how bout this way

If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas

could i cum between the holidays?

ok i am twisted perverted and bored....

sorry haha

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Originally posted by blaznny

ok i am twisted perverted and bored....

sorry haha

you think you're twisted and perverted? check out the sex board:tongue:

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Ok...for the girlz out there...here's some comebacks to those cheezy lines :)

>Women's Clever Answers To Pick-Up Lines

>

>Man: "Haven't we met before?"

>Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

>

>Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"

>Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

>

>Man: "Is this seat empty?"

>Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

>

>Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"

>Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a

> rock?"

>

>Man: "Your place or mine?"

>Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

>

>Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."

>Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."

>

>Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

>Woman: "It's in the phone book."

>Man: "But I don't know your name."

>Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

>

>Man: "So what do you do for a living?"

>Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

>

>Man: "Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"

>(Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)

>Woman: "Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter."

>(I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)

>

>Man: "What sign were you born under?"

>Woman: "No Parking."

>

>Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"

>Woman: "Do not Enter" (or) "Stop."

>

>Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

>Woman: "Unfertilized!"

>

>Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same

> reason."

>Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

>

>Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."

>Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

>

>Man: "I know how to please a woman."

>Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

>

>Man: "I want to give myself to you."

>Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

>

>Man: "I can tell that you want me."

>Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

>

>Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."

>Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die

> laughing."

>

>Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"

>Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

>

>Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"

>Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

>

>Man: "Your body is like a temple."

>Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

>

>Man: "I'd go through anything for you."

>Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

>

>Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."

>Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

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Originally posted by magilicuti

"nice shoes, wanna fuck"

classic line...

hell yeah thats classic:laugh:

"jean claude van damn you're beautiful" - will smith (fresh prince of bel-air)

and that pubic hair rthing is fawking nasty.....although us guys cant front cause we know we sometimes get some stuck there after we .......:eek:

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