marcid21 Posted January 8 Report Share Posted January 8 Don’t the problems with ex’s ever go away??? Me and my ex of 3 and a half years broke up in April….and everything has FINALLY been getting back to normal…..So of course that’s when he has to start w/ the “I WANT YOU BACK†shit…..I’m so up in the air as to what to do…..I mean, I know I’ll always care about him…..but you can’t keep killing a dead horse, right? So I’ve kind of been trying to avoid the subject…..kind of brushing off friends when they bring it up, not answering the phone when he calls….all that kind of stuff. But ever since Friday he has been sooo persistant. He’s even doing all these sweet little things that he used to do when we were together….like showing up this morning with coffee and cleaning the snow off my car (I was 30 minutes late to work this morning because of him), and the big shocker….he sent me flowers this afternoon…..I literally almost fell on the floor!!!! See, the other thing is that all these sweet little things are eventually going to stop, and we’ll be in the same place we were in about a year ago. I’m supposed to go out to dinner with him tonite, and I need to know exactly how to go about all this without damaging his male ego. I don’t want to cut off all ties, but I don’t want to get back w/ him. Being single the last few months totally made me realize there’s bigger and better things out there.Anyone have a problem like this? I really need help…….. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted January 8 Report Share Posted January 8 Hun, well I have been there. I am telling you it isnt worth it. It will just revert back to the smae old shit. For example, my bestfriend got back with her ex, they went out for 3 and 1/2 yrs. So now they are together and she says he is different. I mean he did all those sweet things that he used to do when they first went out. Now it is back to the same old shit. They fell right back into their old routine. I mean yeah they may be older and more wise about what they want, but she has changed, she doesnt come out anymore and complains about him. I mean whats the pt of being together again if you know you are going to be miserable. Hun, honestly look forward, and you even said that you have seen bigger and better things while being single. Don't go back. You will always have the memories that will always be treasured, but don't open that part of your past up. It may just make things worse. So I hope I made some sense here:confused: And hun whatever you decide good luck! One more thing go with what your heart feels, cause that may be what matters most Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted January 8 Author Report Share Posted January 8 Originally posted by fierydesire Hun, well I have been there. I am telling you it isnt worth it. It will just revert back to the smae old shit. For example, my bestfriend got back with her ex, they went out for 3 and 1/2 yrs. So now they are together and she says he is different. I mean he did all those sweet things that he used to do when they first went out. Now it is back to the same old shit. They fell right back into their old routine. I mean yeah they may be older and more wise about what they want, but she has changed, she doesnt come out anymore and complains about him. I mean whats the pt of being together again if you know you are going to be miserable. Hun, honestly look forward, and you even said that you have seen bigger and better things while being single. Don't go back. You will always have the memories that will always be treasured, but don't open that part of your past up. It may just make things worse. So I hope I made some sense here:confused: And hun whatever you decide good luck! One more thing go with what your heart feels, cause that may be what matters most Thanks for all the insight sweetcheeks....I'm pretty confident in staying away from all this....I guess I'm just wondering how I say it to him....I mean....lol...he looked so cute this morning with snow all over the front of his coat while he held my Dunkin Donuts coffee in his hand....LOL....I'm just thinking about stringing him along just incase we have some sort of blizzard and I need my car shoveled out!!! LMAO....and PS...I do appreciate what he's doing....don't get me wrong... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted January 8 Report Share Posted January 8 Originally posted by marcid21 Thanks for all the insight sweetcheeks....I'm pretty confident in staying away from all this....I guess I'm just wondering how I say it to him....I mean....lol...he looked so cute this morning with snow all over the front of his coat while he held my Dunkin Donuts coffee in his hand....LOL....I'm just thinking about stringing him along just incase we have some sort of blizzard and I need my car shoveled out!!! LMAO....and PS...I do appreciate what he's doing....don't get me wrong... Haha, np..string him along for your needs, not a bad idea:idea: hehe:laugh: Well you can try to be nice about but then he may think something like oh she is only saying that but she really wants me:rolleyes: Dumb men..haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acura Posted January 8 Report Share Posted January 8 I was in the same boat about a year ago, this one lady at my job kept telling me "Don't do it, X's are X's for a reason".Yeah and she was very correct.You live and learn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smash247 Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Not a fan of reverting back to X's, Life isnt baseball you dont get 3 strikes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted January 9 Author Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by fierydesire Haha, np..string him along for your needs, not a bad idea:idea: hehe:laugh: Well you can try to be nice about but then he may think something like oh she is only saying that but she really wants me:rolleyes: Dumb men..haha ok......wish me luck...He's sitting in my living room as I speak (thinking I'm getting all pretty for him;) ). I'll let you guys know what happens.I knew I could count on the sexboard to keep me sane!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atomicapples Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 personally, i would do sweet things for you 24/7 and i would never be dumb enough to let you go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 slow down there bucko!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Ex boyfriends are ex boyfriends for a reason. I have the same sort of scenario as you do....ex of over 3 years always trying to get back...blah blah blah.I always sit back and remind myself how much happier, mentally healthier, and better off I am without him. Our relationship was one of great pain and not something I could possibly endure again. Esepcially at this time in my life. It took me nearly 2 years to regain the strong woman I was before him. And, as much as that time of my life was a miserable one, Im glad it was one. It has made me see people in different lights and now know, I deserve the very best.Be true to yourself sweetheart. Don't let him "play on words". You're better then that and I'm sure there's a man out there who deserves the inner and outer beauty which you posess.Okay, Im done rambling. Good luck and keep your heart strong.luv,Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njdionysus Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Move forward, not backwards... if I had taken my own advice I wouldnt have had to get an anullment. People dont change no matter how much they promise. Move on, your ex is an ex for a reason! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by misskittie Ex boyfriends are ex boyfriends for a reason. I have the same sort of scenario as you do....ex of over 3 years always trying to get back...blah blah blah.I always sit back and remind myself how much happier, mentally healthier, and better off I am without him. Our relationship was one of great pain and not something I could possibly endure again. Esepcially at this time in my life. It took me nearly 2 years to regain the strong woman I was before him. And, as much as that time of my life was a miserable one, Im glad it was one. It has made me see people in different lights and now know, I deserve the very best.Be true to yourself sweetheart. Don't let him "play on words". You're better then that and I'm sure there's a man out there who deserves the inner and outer beauty which you posess.Okay, Im done rambling. Good luck and keep your heart strong.luv,Kathy http://bbs.clubplanet.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=74345Different but similar! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by dgmodel http://bbs.clubplanet.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=74345Different but similar! You want me don't you?>giggle< j/kSee, it's funny how things all come together isn't it. Sure you're not up for that drink offer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 follow ur heart girl..... if ur intuition is telling u something, follow it.... advice helps, i know cuz im in the exact same situation as this... and listen to the advice u get but believe me, no one knows whats best for u but urself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmoonshine Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 hehe... why does it seem i always have to go against the grain??? anyway, heres what im thinking... yeah everyone told you that an ex is an ex for a reason and a part of me believes that as well... but another part of me is feeling like maybe everyone should have the chance to see for themselves... i mean i could see how someone might say, that doesnt make sense... she should be able to decide from other peoples experiences... but thats my whole point... it's other peoples experiences and not your own...i mean, who's to say that your experience is gonna be the same?i dunno... all im trying to say is listen to what you're heart is saying... maybe you wanna see for yourself if things have changed... lol... i dunno... i think i confused myself... so now you all think im retarded.. either way... whatever you do... good luck~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted January 9 Author Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by djmoonshine hehe... why does it seem i always have to go against the grain??? anyway, heres what im thinking... yeah everyone told you that an ex is an ex for a reason and a part of me believes that as well... but another part of me is feeling like maybe everyone should have the chance to see for themselves... i mean i could see how someone might say, that doesnt make sense... she should be able to decide from other peoples experiences... but thats my whole point... it's other peoples experiences and not your own...i mean, who's to say that your experience is gonna be the same?i dunno... all im trying to say is listen to what you're heart is saying... maybe you wanna see for yourself if things have changed... lol... i dunno... i think i confused myself... so now you all think im retarded.. either way... whatever you do... good luck~ No way are you retarded Moonie!!! You make perfect sense.....My whole reason for this post was really just to hear how other people handled similar situations.....I was pretty positive on not wanting to get back, but on the flip side....its hard when this person has been by your side for so long:( .....(basically had to find me a good pair of balls!)So ANYWHO.....here is what happened....nice dinner, went back to his apt to watch a movie....We had our little chat about what we should do (he was disappointed about not getting back, but agreed when I pointed out we are MUCH better at the friend thing) and I woke up at 5AM, fully clothed:o , next to my friend. I think that's one of the best feelings I've ever had when I've woke up next to him.....So hopefully everything is peachy...I'm a little worried about what Fiery said about him thinking in the back of his head that I'm full of shit and I want him:rolleyes: ....but only time will tell..... Again....all you sex maniac's are the best! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted January 9 Author Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by atomicapples personally, i would do sweet things for you 24/7 and i would never be dumb enough to let you go. *Smoochie*.....thanks Apples. I'm glad someone thinks so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by misskittie You want me don't you? >giggle< j/kSee, it's funny how things all come together isn't it. Sure you're not up for that drink offer? I think i just might... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by dgmodel I think i just might... Good! I'll be there with 2 of my ladies. Better get your rest dear friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chynado11 Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by marcid21 Don’t the problems with ex’s ever go away??? Me and my ex of 3 and a half years broke up in April….and everything has FINALLY been getting back to normal…..So of course that’s when he has to start w/ the “I WANT YOU BACK†shit…..I’m so up in the air as to what to do…..I mean, I know I’ll always care about him…..but you can’t keep killing a dead horse, right? So I’ve kind of been trying to avoid the subject…..kind of brushing off friends when they bring it up, not answering the phone when he calls….all that kind of stuff. But ever since Friday he has been sooo persistant. He’s even doing all these sweet little things that he used to do when we were together….like showing up this morning with coffee and cleaning the snow off my car (I was 30 minutes late to work this morning because of him), and the big shocker….he sent me flowers this afternoon…..I literally almost fell on the floor!!!! See, the other thing is that all these sweet little things are eventually going to stop, and we’ll be in the same place we were in about a year ago. I’m supposed to go out to dinner with him tonite, and I need to know exactly how to go about all this without damaging his male ego. I don’t want to cut off all ties, but I don’t want to get back w/ him. Being single the last few months totally made me realize there’s bigger and better things out there.Anyone have a problem like this? I really need help…….. :confused: well theres ur answer "I don’t want to cut off all ties, but I don’t want to get back w/ him. Being single the last few months totally made me realize there’s bigger and better things out there." thats all you have to say, be assertive and you know what if he is really is sincere he will understand and if not...ditch him ...why put yourself through circles and cycles..you know each time it gets worse...some things are better left alone**they always are kissing your ass when they want something anyway and then the horns start to reappear**CD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted January 9 Author Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by dgmodel I think i just might... Do you really have to do this on my thread, you prick? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Hey gurlie - just be honest with him. The truth hurts, but lies are always worse in the long run. U said u care for him a lot but don't want to be with him - its not like u'r telling him he's a jerk or asshole or u never want to talk to him. But if u aren't CLEAR about it, then u'r doing him a diservice and creating problems for urself down the road.honesty is always the best choice even when its hard and it hurts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by marcid21 Do you really have to do this on my thread, you prick? Damn, that was slightly uncalled for doncha think? Like all threads don't go "off-roading". LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted January 9 Author Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by misskittie Damn, that was slightly uncalled for doncha think? Like all threads don't go "off-roading". LOL FUNNY BUT, I could've sworn I quoted DG. :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by marcid21 FUNNY BUT, I could've sworn I quoted DG. :rolleyes: Well, being he was addressing that comment to me, I felt the need to make a simple observational comment.Now roll yourself back where ya came from honey. You're gonna give yourself a headache. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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