Pre-booty Call Agreement

[DJGaryMatthews]

THE PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the ("Agreement")

is entered into on the _____day of_________, 2002 by____________,

and__________.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the

morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the

evening.

3. No calls before 9pm. We don't have shit to talk about.

4. None of that "love making shit," only mind blowing fucking allowed.

5. No emotional discussions, (i.e., "where are we heading with this? Do you

love me?") The answer is NO, so don't ask.

6. No plans made in advance, that is why you are called the "back up," unless

you are from out of town, then it's only a one time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted; money is always good.

8. No baby talk, however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers. It's really none of your

damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges," We are not friends, just

sex buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK. Don't be offended.

12. No extra clothing. I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you

leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex. It's over, so get your ass up and go

home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it. I don't care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be "My roommate's

girlfriend/boyfriend."

17. Doggie Style preferred.

18. Reason for doggie style: The less eye contact the better.

19. We hookup absolutely whenever the mood strikes me, so don't keep calling

or paging.

20. The most important one: no condoms, no fucking; so carry your ass home.

21. Bring your own drink, I am not your liquor store.

22. No phone use please I don't want anyone calling back looking for your

ass.

**EXTRA TIPS FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:

The aforementioned rules May only be altered by the holder of the agreement.

If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this agreement,it

will automatically be NULL AND VOID, and you will then be removed from the

BOOTY CALL LIST and become DELETED from phone memory and E-MAIL list.

In other words, you will be blocked from all communications until your

dumbass understands the rules.

Participating Party Signature______________________________.

Date____/____/____

Participating Party Signature______________________________.

Date____/____/____