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fierydesire

Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew...

18 posts in this topic

Women, pay attention, especially to #1.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We

refuse to answer.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,

put it down.

3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive

than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married

is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are

stuck with her.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see

if we can find the perfect present yet again!

5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an

answer you do not want to hear.

6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and

NASCAR.

8. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the

tides....Let it be.

9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of

it that way.

10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

11. Crying is blackmail.

12. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

13. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle

hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not

work. Just say it!

14. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a

calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

15. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you

think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

16. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every

question.

17. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.

That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

18. Check your oil. Please.

19. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.

20. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

21. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

22. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

23. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

24. Christopher Columbus did not need directions,and neither do we.

25. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two

months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your

girlfriends like THEIR relationship is SO MUCH better.

26. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a

fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

27. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

28. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of

mind- reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

29. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

:laugh:

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If your not my girlfriend ( and you'll know when you are, cause I'll tell you) then there's no reason t sleep over.

Your father's a jackass and we both know I would stomp him, so don't say you'll tell your daddy on me when your mad.

Don't ask us about jerking off, that's our thing and it's none of your damn business. I don't ask about your period.

If your "pretty sure" you smell nice down there. Take a shower, use the loofa.

Blowjobs are not for special occasions, if we don't get them from you we will go elsewhere.

I will pay for everything, but the occasional offer is very nice.

If a guy is trying to get in your naughty spot (Your Butt). It is because that's his thing and he will never stop. So give in( trust me you'll like it) or get out.

Your friends are all shallow retarts. We will tolerate them if we love you, but do not ever take their side over ours, this is punishable by death.

A man never hits a woman, but we often think about it. So when we smile in our sleep, let it go.

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Originally posted by boywonder77

If your not my girlfriend ( and you'll know when you are, cause I'll tell you) then there's no reason t sleep over.

If your "pretty sure" you smell nice down there. Take a shower, use the loofa.

Blowjobs are not for special occasions, if we don't get them from you we will go elsewhere.

I will pay for everything, but the occasional offer is very nice.

If a guy is trying to get in your naughty spot (Your Butt). It is because that's his thing and he will never stop. So give in( trust me you'll like it) or get out.

:laugh: :laugh: ..the blowjob one is fucked up:mad: :tongue::rolleyes:

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Originally posted by boywonder77

If your not my girlfriend ( and you'll know when you are, cause I'll tell you) then there's no reason t sleep over.

Your father's a jackass and we both know I would stomp him, so don't say you'll tell your daddy on me when your mad.

Don't ask us about jerking off, that's our thing and it's none of your damn business. I don't ask about your period.

If your "pretty sure" you smell nice down there. Take a shower, use the loofa.

Blowjobs are not for special occasions, if we don't get them from you we will go elsewhere.

I will pay for everything, but the occasional offer is very nice.

If a guy is trying to get in your naughty spot (Your Butt). It is because that's his thing and he will never stop. So give in( trust me you'll like it) or get out.

Your friends are all shallow retarts. We will tolerate them if we love you, but do not ever take their side over ours, this is punishable by death.

A man never hits a woman, but we often think about it. So when we smile in our sleep, let it go.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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Originally posted by fierydesire

:rolleyes: Like you even get any!!!:tongue:;)

Weren't you the one saying Friday "Where's your pimp flock?"

Yeah, you are right.........I get none, only from you. Btw.....sorry about gettin it in your eye;)

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Originally posted by djjonstephen

Weren't you the one saying Friday "Where's your pimp flock?"

Yeah, you are right.........I get none, only from you. Btw.....sorry about gettin it in your eye;)

:laugh: :laugh: Babe..its all good, next time just shoot it on my chest....It hurts in the eye...

BTW, enough with the talk....bang me already...hahah:tongue: :hump: you had your chance at your apt, but you were too busy playing that damn game

:mad: haha....yeah ok...turk and greek in bed can cause disaster

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Originally posted by fierydesire

:laugh: :laugh: Babe..its all good, next time just shoot it on my chest....It hurts in the eye...

BTW, enough with the talk....bang me already...hahah:tongue: :hump: you had your chance at your apt, but you were too busy playing that damn game

:mad: haha....yeah ok...turk and greek in bed can cause disaster

Sorry babe, Tony Hawk is the shit. Plus, siceone had to ruin it wanting sushi and all and then there were the other peeps coming. We had like 10 minutes, I need like three hours for me to work my shit.

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Originally posted by djjonstephen

Sorry babe, Tony Hawk is the shit. Plus, siceone had to ruin it wanting sushi and all and then there were the other peeps coming. We had like 10 minutes, I need like three hours for me to work my shit.

yeah ok....:rolleyes: babe we could have done it while they were there...Freee show anyone??? :tongue::hump: Hey to think of it, we could have had an orgy....:idea:

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