fierydesire Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 Women, pay attention, especially to #1. 1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. 3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her. 4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear. 6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and NASCAR. 8. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides....Let it be. 9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way. 10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 11. Crying is blackmail. 12. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot. 13. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it! 14. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. 15. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 16. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 17. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 18. Check your oil. Please. 19. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived. 20. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 21. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. 22. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 23. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 24. Christopher Columbus did not need directions,and neither do we. 25. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends like THEIR relationship is SO MUCH better. 26. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is. 27. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 28. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind- reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 29. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greyskyy Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 This is the funnies thing I have ever read.Too bad we can not just let them read this and they would understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 I strongly disagree with #'s 3,4,7,8,10,15,16... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrfonktrain Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 already knew that text... but it's still so true... *sigh*I really love women, who mean "no" and say "maybe", or they say yes and what they really wanna say is "maybe" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicman Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 funny shit :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boywonder77 Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 If your not my girlfriend ( and you'll know when you are, cause I'll tell you) then there's no reason t sleep over.Your father's a jackass and we both know I would stomp him, so don't say you'll tell your daddy on me when your mad.Don't ask us about jerking off, that's our thing and it's none of your damn business. I don't ask about your period.If your "pretty sure" you smell nice down there. Take a shower, use the loofa.Blowjobs are not for special occasions, if we don't get them from you we will go elsewhere.I will pay for everything, but the occasional offer is very nice.If a guy is trying to get in your naughty spot (Your Butt). It is because that's his thing and he will never stop. So give in( trust me you'll like it) or get out.Your friends are all shallow retarts. We will tolerate them if we love you, but do not ever take their side over ours, this is punishable by death.A man never hits a woman, but we often think about it. So when we smile in our sleep, let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted February 11 Author Report Share Posted February 11 Originally posted by boywonder77 If your not my girlfriend ( and you'll know when you are, cause I'll tell you) then there's no reason t sleep over.If your "pretty sure" you smell nice down there. Take a shower, use the loofa.Blowjobs are not for special occasions, if we don't get them from you we will go elsewhere.I will pay for everything, but the occasional offer is very nice.If a guy is trying to get in your naughty spot (Your Butt). It is because that's his thing and he will never stop. So give in( trust me you'll like it) or get out. :laugh: ..the blowjob one is fucked up:mad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boywonder77 Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 That's a public service announcement. I'm just trying to educate you ladies. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klohe Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 Originally posted by boywonder77 If your not my girlfriend ( and you'll know when you are, cause I'll tell you) then there's no reason t sleep over.Your father's a jackass and we both know I would stomp him, so don't say you'll tell your daddy on me when your mad.Don't ask us about jerking off, that's our thing and it's none of your damn business. I don't ask about your period.If your "pretty sure" you smell nice down there. Take a shower, use the loofa.Blowjobs are not for special occasions, if we don't get them from you we will go elsewhere.I will pay for everything, but the occasional offer is very nice.If a guy is trying to get in your naughty spot (Your Butt). It is because that's his thing and he will never stop. So give in( trust me you'll like it) or get out.Your friends are all shallow retarts. We will tolerate them if we love you, but do not ever take their side over ours, this is punishable by death.A man never hits a woman, but we often think about it. So when we smile in our sleep, let it go. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted February 11 Report Share Posted February 11 lol...wish they knew these rules, wouldn't life be easier then... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted February 12 Report Share Posted February 12 Originally posted by boywonder77 Blowjobs are not for special occasions, if we don't get them from you we will go elsewhere. :laugh: That is fucking awesome!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted February 12 Author Report Share Posted February 12 Originally posted by djjonstephen :laugh: That is fucking awesome!!!!!!! Like you even get any!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted February 12 Report Share Posted February 12 Originally posted by fierydesire Like you even get any!!! Weren't you the one saying Friday "Where's your pimp flock?"Yeah, you are right.........I get none, only from you. Btw.....sorry about gettin it in your eye;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted February 12 Author Report Share Posted February 12 Originally posted by djjonstephen Weren't you the one saying Friday "Where's your pimp flock?"Yeah, you are right.........I get none, only from you. Btw.....sorry about gettin it in your eye;) :laugh: Babe..its all good, next time just shoot it on my chest....It hurts in the eye...BTW, enough with the talk....bang me already...hahah:tongue: you had your chance at your apt, but you were too busy playing that damn game haha....yeah ok...turk and greek in bed can cause disaster Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted February 12 Report Share Posted February 12 Originally posted by fierydesire :laugh: Babe..its all good, next time just shoot it on my chest....It hurts in the eye...BTW, enough with the talk....bang me already...hahah:tongue: you had your chance at your apt, but you were too busy playing that damn game haha....yeah ok...turk and greek in bed can cause disaster Sorry babe, Tony Hawk is the shit. Plus, siceone had to ruin it wanting sushi and all and then there were the other peeps coming. We had like 10 minutes, I need like three hours for me to work my shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted February 12 Author Report Share Posted February 12 Originally posted by djjonstephen Sorry babe, Tony Hawk is the shit. Plus, siceone had to ruin it wanting sushi and all and then there were the other peeps coming. We had like 10 minutes, I need like three hours for me to work my shit. yeah ok.... babe we could have done it while they were there...Freee show anyone??? Hey to think of it, we could have had an orgy.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyh Posted February 12 Report Share Posted February 12 Originally posted by fierydesire Women, pay attention, especially to #1. 12. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot. ~~~LMFAO!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guccigrlnyc Posted February 12 Report Share Posted February 12 I totally agree with those girl! I think my BF would too def lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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