moidah

*follow me* dont know who sings it. and ppl- what about *tears* (there drippin and dropping...) and then another song i dont know the title to or the artist but everytime i hear it i feel like i just feel in love got a better paying job and its summer in ny...it goes *i love days like this, yeah, i love days like this* ahhhh. maybe im old. ok. not decrepit. just thirty. one. and i love me some vocal house.

yeah, thanks for pointing that out, cocksucker. i was wondering why he spent the next six weeks in the psyche ward... really runner-have a little more empathy and tact, hes my fucking brother and i love that nut job

there are sever different kinds of rape. often *date rape* is a less violent rape and the victim is familiar to the attacker. most women need emotional involvement to reach orgasam but not necessarily. and that involvement may not need to be pleasant emotions. as far as the control question (whether women like it or not) i have to say that i have not met a person-male or female-who doesnt enjoy relinquishing control sometimes. i know men and women who have erotic rape fantasies, and many of those who have had the good fortune to explore that fantasy when they met the right person. having a fantasy of something, even acting out that fantasy with role play does not mean in any way shape or form that that person wants the actual full realization of it. i know a guy who was raped by a women. mortified the entire time because he couldnt make his dick go limp. he was hard the entire time and reached orgasam. it fucked him up every bit as bad as rape fucks up women... and to you t0nythelover-i dont know if you have kids now or want to in the future but that post was fucked up. one day you may be holding your baby girl in your arms for the first time and this statistic will flow through your head... **every 7 seconds another women is raped** cherish your ladies, gentlemen.

whats Reputation? and ppl may not go to jail for *posession of jesus* but my brother got so caught up in religion he cut off his baby finger as a gesture of faith. obviously thats not healthy-he did get therapy and is not wacked out anymore. tho i suppose its better than giving 10$blowjobs and living on the street trying to support your drug habit...

sheet-sa'aight. benders happen...im suprised you could even make out the url on your monitor...lmao right there with you-but i hope that kinda tweak aint your regular thing...now you get me all concerned..

now, some drugs are just plain addictive. whether or not any one person got caught up doesnt change that. weed its self wasnt addictive for me but i agree with the runner about the lifestyle part. when everyone i was chillin with smoked pot (and feened for it when there was none like the best crackheads out there) that was the focus of everyday. lsd, mushrooms-i dont even know how someone can be addicted to either of those and (this isnt going to come out right) i have tripped literally over 100 times on both...lol. (i grew up in the south-lots of cow fields) but dont care for it now. e? c'mon. do people really get addicted to e? not just *wah- i do e everytime i go out or i wont have fun maybe im addicted...* done tons of e-didnt really want to not do it when i had to for go but sometimes it just wasnt an option and bummer but whatever...' so some drugs are addictive. and some people are addictive ppl. ( let me answer the question real quick-coke def addictive and bad.) but what about the people who are religious zealots? overeaters? dangerjunkies? it seems to me drugs, religion, food, when abused its all just a vehicle for filling a very common void.. i wonder what i would be like if i was as involved in religion as i am with drugs. quite a tangent there....

ok. maybe i was a little harsh-but dont worry about sounding like a nerd, its alright to be a big dork every now and then.

man-no offense or nothin but these are questions you should be asking your friends...and if you dont have friends that do drugs then just chill on all that-you dont need to do them. i mean-whats up? either you are young as shit, dumb as shit, or just barley passed your academy exam...

from what i know-dogs are trained to sniff particular scents. some dogs are trained to smell weapon related scents. other dogs are trained to sniff out drugs...that could be marijuana, maybe other dogs cocaine. i am not sure if the dogs that smell cocaine are trained to smell marijuana also but if you want to know if dogs can smell the tina the answer is a resounding YES. clean out your car and find somewhere else to do your thing.

i came in on time and have two of my favourite ppl here. got a delivery after dinner and its slow so i really dont have much to do. and sure the tail end of a bender like this one you would think i would be maudlin and cursing my affair with the white devil...but quite the contrary-there is something gratifiying for me when i dont want anymore. as to whether i think of stopping all together-more and more often as the years pass. i had this really great rational that there was only this one window in your life to get totally fucked up, live the rockstar life, (not rerfering to this weekend in particular) be completely decadent and have no remorse about indulging but *big breath in* i seem to get a little hazy on when that window ends... and i would not call in sick because i was left over from partying. i go to work when i am supposed to, on time, and i get my shit done now i gotta laugh at myself cause i wrote this like two hours ago and just now remebered to send it...and now im off to sleep.

cool. i usually stick to the illegals for my uppers so i dont really know what works...tried redbull this summer working at a motorcycle rally and it did the trick but i was jittery and geeked feeling for like an hour and then the rip ppls heads off feeling. \ probably just gonna keep on keepin on with what got me this far...i'll check in later when im hallucinating and all cracked out. should be amusing/.

smokers delight by nightmares on wax ween the pure guava album violent femmes man-i'm 31 and i love house and can listen to it till my ears fall off but i long for my old cassettes of berlin, yaz-up stairs at erics, queen i used to live in the south and my homegirl and i would cruise around in her little green truck smoking georgous homegrown looking at the mansions along the river...listening to some of the silliest shit. we used to stick one arm apice out the window when we were going down hill and flap our arms in unison making the car *fly*...shit. i miss those days in the late eighties...the saftey dance song sheeeet.

ooh ooh!!! i found the best way...i put the baggie (open) on the concave vent/handle of my imac monitor. make sure its on, sleep or in use. ten minutes or so and crush that shit back up...whooo. lovely baby fine powder. has worked for me every time no matter where i got it from. dont have the handy imac monitor? how about the back of your tv? or whatever...you getit. (lol-u get tit...)

i think the last time i slept was friday night and its...tuesday...been a little cokehead for the duration...worked lastnight but tonight there is no way i will be able to do enough blow to keep me up...tina is no friend of mine-dont like her-so what i want to know is... from ya'lls personal expierence what legal stuff works best... i have to answer three phone lines, book apts, keep track of staff, money, equipment and clientele. right now i am moving slower than a snail over sand and my temperment could use a little lightening...add some cramps to that and a fucked up eye from some bitches umbrella last tuesday (fucking cunt) i want to kill ppl and pile up the bodies to go to sleep on.

i always wonder what y'all are like...i'm down. pigs will be sniffed out (no puns intended) we should choose a place, preferably a home or apt...mine is out of the question since my roomies are staight edge...but lemme think.....

dust...i had just moved to NY the winter of 94 and my homegirl and i had tickets to Heaven NewYearsEve by alan sanctuary and the lovliest disco biscuts of my life courtsey of a net buddy. it was raining while we were standing in line and i held my umbrella up to cover the kids behind me too. they smoked me out from their pipe and i had no idea it was wett and for fucks sake...wouldnt you know it the party got busted. i lost my friends who had my jacket and warm clothes and money along with the directions to my parkslope apt. i had been in NY for two days. never in queens. there i was freezing cold. rolling my face off. tripping sick. no money. no idea where i was. some how i made it to bk and got these kids on the corner to hoist me up to my fire escape aand i broke in.. i remeber the roll was unbeatable. the dust sucked. espically since i didnt know i was doing it until it was too late. hate doing drugs by mistake. but not too many times have i been unhappy with what i was doing. used to go to dead shows and chill in the parking lot...remeber lots of ppl saying *stick out your tongue* and like a good girl i did. never regretted it.

4 real? i imagine they are not the nicest ppl to deal with espically if you are asking for them for free. there were clinics that gave u one clean if you gave them one dirty. something about only needing to give them your social...which is crap crap crap. it should be private. a earlier this year one of my friends was found litterally laying in a gutter with a syringe sticking out of his leg, he was muscleing his dope and apparently got a hot shot...i always wonder if her was muscleing b/c his needle was dull...

i was on sixth ave and 25 going to the cvs yesterday and there was this kid standing out in front of the store leaning up agianst the wall nodding off. as i passed him i said *hey kid. wake up. stop doing dope.* to which he replies *huhjhh* not that i can talk really=i am princess of the white snows. as i am shopping he comes up to me and asks me what i said so i repeated myself and we began to talk. this kid was 16. banging dope. proud that his habit was down from 12 bags a day to 3...which if you have known any dope addicts you know enough not to believe them and that it doesnt matter anyway. i grilled him like i was his big sister just because my heart went out to this kid and i ended up giving him my # telling him if he was ever in trouble (not meaning dope sick) or wanted to know where to go to get help i would look out for him. anyway the point is that when i asked him if he had clean needles he told me that you can buy them at most large drugstore chains at the pharmacy as part of this program to keep addicts as healthy and informed as possible. i did not know this and have called a few of my friends who mainline their drugs and let them know...i am not sure either way how i personally feel about it but i do know this=if this is how you do your drugs you should know that clean needles and recovery information is avaible...

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i dont have any pics to post and really...no desire to. i am hot. and i love to dance. but i dont go out to hook up. nor is that what brings me here. lol. should i meet someone i click with then cool whatever but really i come here because yall dont whine about getting high all the time and i hate that shit. i can come here and laugh because you all are some of the only peeps i have come across that are honest about what they do (or so i think). and instead of getting on your high horse (no pun intended) and doing bumps on the sly you all seem to be seeking information and connection. i have learned shit here. and i was all *i'm a big dog* tee hee. bumpdaddy i bet got me beat. and shit. i just love calling him daddy...with a bump in front of it. lol

an old friend of mine used to write to pharm companies telling them he was chem student and ask them for all these unclassified chemicals he had researched. they would send them and he would sit at home dosing out all sorts of fun stuff...anyway. he had a preverse amount of worm wood after a few years of this and we would go out and buy a bottle of the most expensive vodka we could find and a week or two later we would have true lovely absinth. i fucking love that shit. i have (some how) never had too much....but i dont know where he is any more and have no idea how to get some....

lol. i'm female. no worries.

ghey? wtf? i guess the spelling is kinda cute...in a wannabe sorta way. your welcome bumpdaddy. glad to have made you smile.

*big sigh* i am sure i am not alone.

no no no. thats not what i'm saying. i'm talking smack. bad stuff. but opiates pin the pupils. i said it depends on what you are high on b/c if it were e then h could make you very sick seeing as so many pills out there are laced with it already. i do not reccomend doing herion but there are other forms of opiates out there like vicodin. you wont be sober (lol) but in about an hour your eyes should go back to some acceptable state. now you get the nodding off and puking part?