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vicman

ONLY, for the guys...

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Saw it on MIA board.

And I think I should get ready to get pounded by the girls on the board :(

*******************

Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

Your orgasms are real. Always.

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Foreplay is optional.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 'Nuff said...

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

Princess Di's death was just another obituary.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or irreparably mangle your feet.

Porn movies are designed with you in mind.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why bicycles are better than Women...

Bicycles don't get pregnant.

You can ride your Bicycle any time of the month.

Bicycles don't have parents.

Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.

You can share your Bicycle with your friends.

Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you've ridden.

When riding, you and your Bicycle can arrive at the same time.

Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you have.

Bicycles don't care if you look at other Bicycles.

Bicycles don't care if you buy Bicycle magazines.

You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to own a new Bicycle" unless you go out to buy one yourself.

If your Bicycle goes flat you can fix it.

If your Bicycle is too loose you can tighten it.

If your Bicycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Bicycle.

If you say bad things to your Bicycle, you don't have to apologize before you ride it again.

You can ride your Bicycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.

You can stop riding your Bicycle as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.

Your parents won't remain in touch with your old bicycle after you dump it.

Bicycles don't get headaches.

Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider.

Your Bicycle never wants a night out with the other Bicycles.

Bicycles don't care if you're late.

You don't have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle.

If your Bicycle doesn't look good you can paint it or get better parts.

You can ride your Bicycle the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.

The only protection you have to wear when riding your Bicycle is a decent helmet.

When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had the last time you were on your Bicycle.

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Originally posted by vicman

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

Why do women get so pissed off if their man does not notice their new hair cut? In which most cases they just cut 1/4 of an inch from the back or some other really spot thats hard to notice.:rolleyes:

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Originally posted by zaguero

Why do women get so pissed off if their man does not notice their new hair cut? In which most cases they just cut 1/4 of an inch from the back or some other really spot thats hard to notice.:rolleyes:

i dunno, but at least the two hotties at my office wont see this..damn, with the hot weather here already, theyre starting to wear skimpy clothes...it's gunna be a loooooong spring and summer :( arf, arf!

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Originally posted by vicman

i dunno, but at least the two hotties at my office wont see this..damn, with the hot weather here already, theyre starting to wear skimpy clothes...it's gunna be a loooooong spring and summer :( arf, arf!

LMAO!!! :laugh:

The only hot chick (the Persian girl I pointed out to you the other day) that worked here quit or got transfered. I just hope none of the women here get any ideas and begin wearing skimmpy clothes. :puke:

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Originally posted by malanee

Why do men name their penises? So they can be on a first name basis with the person making all their decisions!

:laugh:

hey, thats not funny :blown:

in the meantime me and Carlitos here will think about appropriate actions to take

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Originally posted by malanee

Why do men name their penises? So they can be on a first name basis with the person making all their decisions!

:laugh:

I have not named my penis. I think that is immature.

Why do women always fix their hair when stopped at a red light?

Cause they don't have balls to scratch!

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