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sassa

.........have a question....

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...i know i'm probably not the most liked person on this board, and that's cool...but i have something in my mind that i've been mulling about for a while, and i guess i really need some input....

over a month ago, i went to a conference in santa barbara, where i met this awesome guy...the conference was for 3 days, and i ended up spending most of my free time with him there...now we e-mail each other and call once in a while...but now he says he is planning to come down here to visit...which i'm not looking forward to...becuz my ex whom i really care about is coming also to see me and i haven't seen him in almost 2 years...(my ex), and i really want to spend time with him and in the city when i come out there...but i don't know what to say to this other guy (mateo), he always says weird shit like "i miss you" and "how are you doing gorgeous" and while it's nice and everything...i don't really feel like responding to that...it was a nice 3 day thing and we both had fun...that's it....i don't want to go further than that, but am not sure how to say it to mateo subtlely....and even though i might have a big mouth on this board, i am actually a quiet person in reality....any input? danke...

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Originally posted by sexxyh

~~~ i hate to say this but u have to be straight up....tell mateo u cant do this whole long distance thing....

that sounds just right to me, too. and it's true - the long-distance thing never works out. he'd understand or come to understand in the end.

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i hate liars... I know you wanna lie so no one gets hurt, but if your a real person you wouldnt lie. If he is a nice person that was respectful those 3 days you spent with him then show him the respect he deserves. If he has done nothing but been honest with you then he deserves the same (at least i feel that way). I mean if he doesnt get the hint after you are honest then you lie and shit cause there is nothing else you can do. So i suggest you tell him that your ex is comin to town and you need to spend time with him, and he should understand unless you promised this guy Mateo the world

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Originally posted by origskeemr

i hate liars... I know you wanna lie so no one gets hurt, but if your a real person you wouldnt lie. If he is a nice person that was respectful those 3 days you spent with him then show him the respect he deserves. If he has done nothing but been honest with you then he deserves the same (at least i feel that way). I mean if he doesnt get the hint after you are honest then you lie and shit cause there is nothing else you can do. So i suggest you tell him that your ex is comin to town and you need to spend time with him, and he should understand unless you promised this guy Mateo the world

that's the whole thing! i never made things seem like there would be something else after the time we were together...HE is the one assuming it might work...and i don't really like being in relationships anyways, so no can do....i wouldn't mind having him as a good friend from now on...but i freeze when i have to say hurtful things to people..and try to avoid it until the last minute....i was thinking maybe of being a subtle bitch in a way...not taking his calls, not calling him, making vague complaints about school....maybe i'm being a coward, but if there is one thing i hate, it is hurting other people.

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Originally posted by sexxyh

~~~ i hate to say this but u have to be straight up....tell mateo u cant do this whole long distance thing....if that doesnt work lie and tell him u got back with ur ex he'll never find out:cool:

I agree... DON'T go the bitchy route because that will only hurt worse; it's just going to leave him confused and wondering what he did wrong... and if he was nice to you it's just sooo not cool to be a bitch to him...

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Originally posted by sexxyh

~~~ i hate to say this but u have to be straight up....tell mateo u cant do this whole long distance thing....if that doesnt work lie and tell him u got back with ur ex he'll never find out:cool:

why do you hate to say you have to be straight up?

just something to think about :tongue:

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Originally posted by weyes

that sounds just right to me, too. and it's true - the long-distance thing never works out. he'd understand or come to understand in the end.

I think it depends how long the distance is, and what kind of dedication your partner has.

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Originally posted by origskeemr

i hate liars... I know you wanna lie so no one gets hurt, but if your a real person you wouldnt lie. If he is a nice person that was respectful those 3 days you spent with him then show him the respect he deserves. If he has done nothing but been honest with you then he deserves the same (at least i feel that way). I mean if he doesnt get the hint after you are honest then you lie and shit cause there is nothing else you can do. So i suggest you tell him that your ex is comin to town and you need to spend time with him, and he should understand unless you promised this guy Mateo the world

I am with you man, honesty is the best policy. There are too many complications in lying, I always want to be dealt with straight up.

The truth may hurt, but hey, learn and grow from it.

I'd rather be told the truth then be led on or bullshitted.

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Originally posted by legend38

I think it depends how long the distance is, and what kind of dedication your partner has.

for me, it depends how long you'll be apart and how much strain your heart can stand. i wouldn't enter into a relationship with someone i already knew lived far away or that i couldn't be with for another year.

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Originally posted by sassa

...i know i'm probably not the most liked person on this board, and that's cool...but i have something in my mind that i've been mulling about for a while, and i guess i really need some input....

over a month ago, i went to a conference in santa barbara, where i met this awesome guy...the conference was for 3 days, and i ended up spending most of my free time with him there...now we e-mail each other and call once in a while...but now he says he is planning to come down here to visit...which i'm not looking forward to...becuz my ex whom i really care about is coming also to see me and i haven't seen him in almost 2 years...(my ex), and i really want to spend time with him and in the city when i come out there...but i don't know what to say to this other guy (mateo), he always says weird shit like "i miss you" and "how are you doing gorgeous" and while it's nice and everything...i don't really feel like responding to that...it was a nice 3 day thing and we both had fun...that's it....i don't want to go further than that, but am not sure how to say it to mateo subtlely....and even though i might have a big mouth on this board, i am actually a quiet person in reality....any input? danke...

as much as it sucks... you have to be upfront with him... just lay your cards on the table... if not it will escalate into a stick situation so it would be better off if you just nip this thing in the bud...

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Originally posted by legend38

I think it depends how long the distance is, and what kind of dedication your partner has.

no truer words have ever been spoken. if both of ur hearts are into it 110%, it can work. but if theres something there that doesnt feel right, then it will crumble.

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