for all the financial geeks like me(saleen/gropasaurus)

[pipdaddy]

Subject: Scene from a new movie dealing with the current Wall Street

Research Scandal

Cast

Tom Cruise-Eliot Spitzer, NY Attorney General

Jack Nicholson-Henry Blodget, Merrill Lynch Internet Analyst(should be J.Grubman)

Tom Cruise: "Did you rate that dog a 'Buy'"

Jack Nicholson: "You want answers?"

Tom Cruise: "I think I'm entitled."

Jack Nicholson: "You want answers!!"

Tom Cruise: "I want the truth!"

Jack Nicholson: "You can't handle the truth!"

Jack Nicholson:

"You want to ask me about EBITDA. On the record, I tell you that I

discourage the practice of using it as a proxy for cash flows in

accordance with firm policy. Off the record, I tell you that it is an

invaluable part of comparable company analyses and if it happens to go

on without my knowledge, so be it! I run my model how I run my model.

You want to spot check me? Roll the dice and take your chances. I do

comps 300 yards from 150 bankers who are trained to kill me, so don't

think for one second that you can come down here, flash a multiple and

make me nervous! You see, we live in a world with GAAP and SEC

regulations and those rules have to be implemented and interpreted by

analysts with pocket protectors.

Who's gonna do it? You? The SEC? I have a greater responsibility than

you can possibly fathom. You loathe the CFO and curse the analysts.

You have the luxury of not knowing what I know - that my adjustments to

net income, while tragic, probably closed deals; and that my existence,

while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, closes deals. Deep down in

places you don't talk about - at road shows - you want me on that deal;

you need me on that deal. We use acronyms like EBITDA, EPS and P&L. We

use these words as the backbone of a life spent valuing corporations.

You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the

inclination to explain my comps to a regulator who rises and sleeps

under the blanket of the analysis that I provide and then questions the

manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said 'thank you'

and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up an HP-12C and

discount your own cash flows! Either way, I don't give a damn what you

think you are entitled to."

Tom Cruise: "Did you rate it a Buy?"

Jack Nicholson: "You're damn right I did-- there was 7 points in the

deal!"