pipdaddy Posted May 13 Report Share Posted May 13 Subject: Scene from a new movie dealing with the current Wall StreetResearch ScandalCastTom Cruise-Eliot Spitzer, NY Attorney GeneralJack Nicholson-Henry Blodget, Merrill Lynch Internet Analyst(should be J.Grubman)Tom Cruise: "Did you rate that dog a 'Buy'"Jack Nicholson: "You want answers?"Tom Cruise: "I think I'm entitled."Jack Nicholson: "You want answers!!"Tom Cruise: "I want the truth!"Jack Nicholson: "You can't handle the truth!"Jack Nicholson:"You want to ask me about EBITDA. On the record, I tell you that Idiscourage the practice of using it as a proxy for cash flows inaccordance with firm policy. Off the record, I tell you that it is aninvaluable part of comparable company analyses and if it happens to goon without my knowledge, so be it! I run my model how I run my model.You want to spot check me? Roll the dice and take your chances. I docomps 300 yards from 150 bankers who are trained to kill me, so don'tthink for one second that you can come down here, flash a multiple andmake me nervous! You see, we live in a world with GAAP and SECregulations and those rules have to be implemented and interpreted byanalysts with pocket protectors.Who's gonna do it? You? The SEC? I have a greater responsibility thanyou can possibly fathom. You loathe the CFO and curse the analysts.You have the luxury of not knowing what I know - that my adjustments tonet income, while tragic, probably closed deals; and that my existence,while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, closes deals. Deep down inplaces you don't talk about - at road shows - you want me on that deal;you need me on that deal. We use acronyms like EBITDA, EPS and P&L. Weuse these words as the backbone of a life spent valuing corporations.You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor theinclination to explain my comps to a regulator who rises and sleepsunder the blanket of the analysis that I provide and then questions themanner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said 'thank you'and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up an HP-12C anddiscount your own cash flows! Either way, I don't give a damn what youthink you are entitled to."Tom Cruise: "Did you rate it a Buy?"Jack Nicholson: "You're damn right I did-- there was 7 points in thedeal!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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