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Windows 2000 New Jersey Edition


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It has come to our attention that a few copies of the new WINDOWS 2000 NEW JERSEY EDITION may have accidentally been shipped to retailers outside the state of New Jersey.

If you have purchased one of these software models, you may need some help understanding the commands.

The New Jersey edition may be recognized by the unique opening

screen. It reads: "WINDAS 2000", with a background picture of a Parkway toll plaza. And it is also equipped with a Sopranos screen saver.

It is important to note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Bayonne"

My Computer is called "my friggin' computer"

Dial up Networking is called "The bar"

Control Panel is known as the "The bosses"

Hard Drive is referred to as "287 Rush Hour"

Instead of an error message a "You're not gonna friggin' believe this" pops up.

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN THE NEW JERSEY EDITION:

OK........................Sure ting

Cancel...................Shit

Reset....................Start Ova

Yes.......................Yeah

No........................Nah

Find......................Put a contract out on

Go to....................Go to Exit

Back.....................U turn

Help.....................(Help is not available...that would admit weakness)

Stop.....................Friggin' stop

Start....................C'mon

Settings................Rules

Fatal Error...........Fuhgetaboutit!

Also note that any voice recognition software run on the NEW JERSEY EDITION platform does not recognize the letter "r."

Some programs that are exclusive to WINDAS 2000:

Typa..............................A word processing program

Calculata........................Calculator

Dunkin Donuts Napkin........Notepad

Porn Hunt.......................Microsoft Explorer 4.0

My Porn..........................A graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the New Jersey EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

We hope this solves your friggin' damn problem!

Sincerely,

Microsoft Customer Service

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