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why is that...


dgmodel

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just came back from a friends house... and heres the situation... she's head over heels for this guy who doesnt even give her the time of day... heres the situation they ve known each other very long... she claims theyre best of friends (he claims G~d knows what) her mom went into the hospital for some complications w/stomach cancer and shes been very ill, so my friend calls him up yesterday and tells him that she just needs someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on ... and guess what this asshole says... "people die, get over it... click" WTF!!! WTF!!! is that!? so the whole day shes been upset, and blah... so she calls me up today at like 2:00am just to talk,(shes even more upset cause she called this kid up and he was at a strip club and he said "im enjoying myself right now ill call you back" click... so... like a sucker i wind up meeting up with her, went for a long walk/talk in the rain, had some food, went back to her place just chilled, listened to music... blah... talked her through this... and guess what... just now he calls her and says "im outside come outside..." and at his beck and call she drops everything and goes... so i bounced... so whats the bottom line DG??? bottom line is this... why do ppl always go after the ones who treat them the worst??? shit its not even ppl... look at dogs there could be a group of ppl all petting the dog, talking to it playing with it... but who does the dog always go to??? exactly! the person whos ignoring it... the person who wants nothing to do with it... why is this primative instinct instilled in most of us??? how can i help this girl get over this asshole??? who knows... oh well...

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because he's a challenge, so people can't live a life without drama and without even realizing it they throw themselves head first into relationships that are going to cause more bad than good.

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i wonder when you guys are gonna get it...

never ever talk with a girl about her problems, she will mentally link bad feelings to your voice, looks, posture, location, etc.

also you will become her freakin GIRLfriend.

we pursue what withdraws from us. talkin in your dog analogy: what does a dog like better? when you throw the stick away from him or lay in front of his feet?

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some people have such low self esteem that, when someone is considerate towards them they either think its not genuine or lose respect for the person who cares for them.....

they think 'i'm terrible no-one decent would want to be with me' ....and then go chase some one 'decent' whos a dick....

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Originally posted by psychojo

some people have such low self esteem that, when someone is considerate towards them they either think its not genuine or lose respect for the person who cares for them.....

they think 'i'm terrible no-one decent would want to be with me' ....and then go chase some one 'decent' whos a dick....

that´s about right, also while jerks CONFIRM the image she has of herself ("i´m terrible" for example), nice guys tell her the opposite. which she will reject cause she will perceive it as shallow and not true.

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Originally posted by tastey

also you will become her freakin GIRLfriend.

well im not angry cause i didnt hook up with her, im angry because she has feelings for this loser!!! i could care less about sex... see when are you guys gonna get it that theres more to relationships then sex! as for never talking to them about their problems... i couldnt disagree more with that statement... whether or not she associates me with bad feelings or whatever other adjectives you used... doesnt really matter to me, as long as her problems are solved or if i could help in some way thats what counts... eh who cares... maybe im just a fag or some shit who doesnt get it... maybe im still immature but at this point in life, thats the way i am...

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i agree with what jy said.. some people are just attracted to the challenge, but they don't realize it will MOST LIKELY come back to bite them at the end.

They're just prolonging their non-self-confidence by hanging with an ass like that guy. What she really needs is someone to instill confidence in her and tell her not to get hung up in the bad, and ackowledge the good.

DG: I wouldn't lose her, but try and explain to her in point-blank facts exactly how this guy is an asshole, how he only cares for her when it suits him. She can do better than him :rolleyes:

I hope she feels better :)

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b. i tried and tried... it just wont get in her head...

and its not like Im doing this to get her pants... i genuinely feel that hes not worth her, and she can do much better... shes insanely smart, scholarships all the way, comes from a well to do family, cultured she travels every a couple months to new countries, does academic activities... and on the flip side this kid who she likes... skates in the local park, trips and gets high all day!!! has about one ounce of brain matter, and he could prolly hold a convo for as long as i could hold hot coal!!! wtf! i dont get it.. speak about opposites attract!

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IMO, it's all about games. No girl just sort of "feels like a challenge"...this guy must have done something, or instilled some fact in your friends head MAKING HER BELIEVE he's worth her efforts....This guys games, plus every persons desire to conquer a challenge equals a dead end to this equation.

You could talk till your blue in the face, but in reality, it's going to have to be something this girl goes through for this piece of gutter trash that sends her packing and on her way. Talking could quite possibly be the worst thing to do...because she will jump at the chance to defend him...along with her ignorance ((we've all been ignorant in this type of situation at one time or the other)).

Just be there when she cracks and needs you.

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Originally posted by dgmodel

i could care less about sex... see when are you guys gonna get it that theres more to relationships then sex!

my guess that that is what HE wants, just sex, no relationship. she will perhaps think "relationship" but you bet he will never jump on that horse. sounds like a textbook jerk to me.

as for never talking to them about their problems... i couldnt disagree more with that statement... whether or not she associates me with bad feelings or whatever other adjectives you used... doesnt really matter to me, as long as her problems are solved or if i could help in some way thats what counts...

see, YOUR desired outcome does not equal HIS.

also girls know how to fix their problem, they are not stupid after all and they can very well handle their own shit. what they search for in guys like you emotional "support", IOW loading her emotional baggage on you. would HE have done it (listening to her problems), i bet 50$ the relationship between the two would have cooled off in a matter of days.

eh who cares... maybe im just a fag or some shit who doesnt get it... maybe im still immature but at this point in life, thats the way i am...

IMO that has nothing to do with all that, it´s just that you have an other desired outcome than him.

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this girl sounds like me.........i always end up with guys who r shitheads...and i always go back....or move on to another shithead!! i dunno....why? and i know i do this but still do nothing....however......i went out with this guy a couple of weeks ago and he was so nice that it literally was turning my stomache!! i could not fucking take it!!! weird ...i guess....am i fucked up in the head...sure.........but i'll tell u something....i hung out with the current asshole last night....and whether or not he feels like treating me like gold...or if it's a dick mode night....i am happy when i am with him and there is nothing i can do to change that!

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Originally posted by misk

....i hung out with the current asshole last night....and whether or not he feels like treating me like gold...or if it's a dick mode night....i am happy when i am with him and there is nothing i can do to change that!

ugggghhhhh!!!!! dosen't that suck?!?!?!?!

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Originally posted by misk

this girl sounds like me.........i always end up with guys who r shitheads...and i always go back....or move on to another shithead!! i dunno....why? and i know i do this but still do nothing....however......i went out with this guy a couple of weeks ago and he was so nice that it literally was turning my stomache!! i could not fucking take it!!! weird ...i guess....am i fucked up in the head...sure.........but i'll tell u something....i hung out with the current asshole last night....and whether or not he feels like treating me like gold...or if it's a dick mode night....i am happy when i am with him and there is nothing i can do to change that!

see, hot water is perceived much hotter when you had your hands in cold water before.

same principle here, when you treat a girl like shit and then you are nice FOR A SHORT WHILE, the good feeling is much stronger for her, also she then sees you as a challenge. it is her "task" to bring out more of that "good" side of you.

i´d even say it is okay to make a girl cry IF you turn up niceness LATER, which will lead her to be happier than if you just had been nice to her.

question for you all: would it be okay for you to (mentally of course) hurt someone "for the greater good", meaning that you hurting her is a step in the process of making her feel good?

i´ve been experimenting with this lately, with a girl i´ve known for some time. we always tease each other and are constantly on and off. i met with her and a few friends at a club and began my experiment by indirectly showing her my willingness to walk from her any time, basically telling her indirectly that she had no more value to me than the girl next to her. then i talked to some friends and she was talking with a female friend, she was near tears and i pretty often overheard the word "asshole" :laugh: (as intended by me). then they go out of the club for a short while and come back in. so later i´m dancing on the dancefloor, she is dancing too. i´m dancing near her, at first she´s reluctant but after a while she hangs herself on me. i extract her from the dancefloor and act teasing and cocky again, she totally digs it and keeps hugging and kissing me (stronger than before). i generally made her feel good and she was relieved you have no idea. it was like it was her birthday and she got a pony. after a while she told me "you actually made me cry tonight, does that give you an ego push or what?". i replied with a simple "shhhhh" and started feeling her up, to what she tells me "i always forgive you way too fast for being such an asshole". that night i had one of the most intense sex sessions ever, she almost raped me. so it kinda proved the theory, needs some more testing of course, but i´m sure this has potential!

comments appreciated!!

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see....why do u guys do that!!!!???? u TOTALLY sound like 90% of the guys i know! lol.....r u sure we don't know each other!;)

let me ask u this......how do u HONESTLY feel about this girl.......not what u want HER to think or how u need to act to keep this mindfuck going.........but what u REALLY think......

also....has there ever been a girl that got u wrapped like u do to them...........and what did she do that made u want her instead of vice versa (((i am gonna write a book!)))

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Originally posted by misk

let me ask u this......how do u HONESTLY feel about this girl.......not what u want HER to think or how u need to act to keep this mindfuck going.........but what u REALLY think......

inside, i really like her and i love to spend time with her, even without the sex. on the outside however, i HAVE to remain cold and distant, at least most of the time. that is how the game the game is played, like it or not. i like to say "don´t hate the player hate the game", cause that´s how it is. i would love to tell her how i feel, but that doesn´t work, i tried that already with too many girls before and it generally doesn´t work. "nice" doesn´t work

also....has there ever been a girl that got u wrapped like u do to them...........and what did she do that made u want her instead of vice versa (((i am gonna write a book!)))

lol are you serious about writing a book? be sure to let me see it, i think i could give you some opinions on it. when i browse through the bookstores i love to look at those relationship advise books written by women. like "duh!", most have NO CLUE AT ALL!

i gotta say when a girl does the same method above to me i´m more attracted to her. i don´t like it (same as you) but i just "works" on me. like one time she´s all over me and the next time she´s all cold and distant. damnit i hate and love it at the same time :)! tip for you girls: always keep up the challenge, never give him the feeling he "has" you. when i know that a girl is really "mine" i only smile at that and will probably move on.

so basically, if she is in control of her emotions and what leaks outside, if i can bitchfight with her, constant mutual teasing, but at the same time i know i can count on her, that´s my definiton of a fun relationship. keep up the drama :) !!

so basically, a player for a player.

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Originally posted by marcid21

ok...now here's a good question...How would you enter any sort of non-sexual relationship with any of these females and actually be serious about it?

When do the games end?:confused:

wait... NON-SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP?? :laugh: :laugh:

let´s go through the process of how i meet / get introduced to girls. in both cases i´m only interested in those that i am physically attracted to, those who i am attracted to get an audition, the others are COMPLETELY IGNORED or i give them a LITTLE attention (out of politeness).

i would never even consider going somewhere with a girl that i´m not attracted to, that´s a waste of my time that i could spend with other people or girls that i find attractive AND that have an interesting personality.

so, since i´m actually only willing to invest time in girls that i´m attracted to, i play my game and see if i can lay her or not. if i can definately NOT lay her, i am off to another girl, same reason as above. when i had sex with her maybe a "friendship" will devellop, a friendship that is deeper than normal ones cause you´ve already been very close (and it can get very close again if we decide to).

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Originally posted by bobross

DG..... this girl sounds verrry familiar... is it who i think it is???

"the holla back youngin"?

yep yep... but dont say anything... especially, the fact that i made thread about her on a friggin msg.board... aiight!?

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