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tommyarmani

Cheating ???

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well think of it this way... once your sig other cheats on you, do you think you will ever fully 100% trust that person again?

Speaking for myself, i will usually give someone the benefit of doubt, until they f*ck up. Once that happens it takes ALOT in order to regain my trust and faith... if you get my trust at all again

you will ask second guess or question or wonder what that person will be doing if you are not there... .

i do think someone can be truly sorry for their mistakes and honestly did not have intentions to purposely hurt the other person. but if they did cheat I dont think that they were ready, or committed to be in a relationship in the first place.

*shrugs* i dunno just my $.05

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Originally posted by tommyarmani

so you do think trust can be rebuilt...??

hmmmm interesting question.

ideally ld like to say yes. but from my personal experiences it has yet to be proven.

story that is related but different roles:

one of my "good" friends slept with a guy i was dating. and not only did she not tell me about it - til months later, but i flat out asked her if anything happened one night in particular (they were next door neighbors) and she lied to my face.

By the time she told me, the guy and i had stopped dating a long time before, but i told her i was more upset that she lied to me and betrayed my trust. You know, i could hvae just written her off right then but i did believe she was truly sorry.

So i told her that it will tkae some time for me to adjust to what had happened. and in the meantime she would have to someway have to prove to me she really did want to be my friend. and of course she said that she enver wanted to hurt me and blah blah, and that i am one of her best friends (:rolleyes: ) and yes she wants to be my friend.

for me i was willing to give another chance at our friendship, but obvioiusly she had no trust iwth me. and i think that trust in friendship is just as important as in a relationship.

well i never detailed what she should do to prove, but then again i don't think i should have to. I didnt expect her to kiss my feet or grovel but I would have liked to see her to follow through on some simple things (like actually calling to make plans to go out to lunchk instead of just saying lets go out to lunch and expect me to make arrangements) and make a real conscience effort. i didnt see any of that, and i didn't make a big deal of it. i just let it slide. i wasnt disappointed nor was i hurt any more, because i no longer held any expectations. she has now become a mere "acquanitence" and unfortunatley i know now that she never really held our friendship in high value because a) she never would have slept with the guy and B) she would have made some effort to build back the friendship/trust

so after that lengthy post (sorry!) my answer it depends on both people. are you willing enough to be open minded about the situation and allow yourself to be able trust this person again? and CAN the other person make earnest effort to attempt to gain your trust again.

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People that cheat suck! Once that trust is broken, it is almost impossible to trust that person again. You might think you trust them again, but in the back of your mind you always think they might be up to something.

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Originally posted by njdionysus

People that cheat suck! Once that trust is broken, it is almost impossible to trust that person again. You might think you trust them again, but in the back of your mind you always think they might be up to something.

A big problem is that it not only makes it harder to trust that person, but it often carries over into mistrusting other entirely different people.

The other part of this is that chances are, no matter how much we hate cheaters, about 75% of us will do it at some point. While I'm proud now of the fact that I never have, are any of us going to feel the same way 20 years into sleeping with only one person, especially if someone attractive and discrete pops your way? I guess all I'm trying to say is it's harder to know about until you're really put in an opportune situation for it. I just hope I can remain as strong as I have been so far...

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I believe once a person cheats in a relationship then there is always a chance they will cheat again but that doesn't necessarily mean they would cheat in there next relationship.

If a person is cheating then either they are not ready to be in a commited relationship, not satisfied either sexually or emotionally, or some people (I believe) just aren't capable of being in a commited exclusive relationship but do it anyway and cheat all the time.

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Originally posted by tommyarmani

is it possible to have a fulfilling & satisfying relationship & truly love someone, BUT also have a piece of ass on the side....

If you "truly love" the person and your relationship is fulfilling and satisfying than you wouldn't have a piece of ass on the side. Unless your definition of truly love is different than most........

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Everyone deserves a second chance... But it depends on the relationship, how strong it is or love it, if it will work. SOmepople don't realize what they have untilit's gone, then it is too late they have broken trust..........

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cheating is about the most disgusting and sickening thing i can think of.

humans *have* the ability to control themselves, no matter what nonsense people throw out about hormones, instincts, and all that crap. when someone is so low as to break the trust and loyalty he or she has built up with his or her partner, it means the person is either lazy or cowardly to break off their current relationship or is just plain malicious. i have NO tolerance for cheating or cheaters, and i don't believe it can ever be justified.

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Originally posted by tommyarmani

QUOTE]Originally posted by wideskies

cheating is about the most disgusting and sickening thing i can think of.

humans *have* the ability to control themselves, no matter what nonsense people throw out about hormones, instincts, and all that crap. when someone is so low as to break the trust and loyalty he or she has built up with his or her partner, it means the person is either lazy or cowardly to break off their current relationship or is just plain malicious. i have NO tolerance for cheating or cheaters, and i don't believe it can ever be justified.

now that is very well stated...especially about people being too cowardly or lazy to break it off....

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Originally posted by wideskies

cheating is about the most disgusting and sickening thing i can think of.

humans *have* the ability to control themselves, no matter what nonsense people throw out about hormones, instincts, and all that crap. when someone is so low as to break the trust and loyalty he or she has built up with his or her partner, it means the person is either lazy or cowardly to break off their current relationship or is just plain malicious. i have NO tolerance for cheating or cheaters, and i don't believe it can ever be justified.

:clap: VERY well said

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Originally posted by wideskies

cheating is about the most disgusting and sickening thing i can think of.

humans *have* the ability to control themselves, no matter what nonsense people throw out about hormones, instincts, and all that crap. when someone is so low as to break the trust and loyalty he or she has built up with his or her partner, it means the person is either lazy or cowardly to break off their current relationship or is just plain malicious. i have NO tolerance for cheating or cheaters, and i don't believe it can ever be justified.

I think cheating horrible, especially if you are the being cheated on. The trust that has been broken is almost impossible to make whole again. I know people who are serial cheaters and people who have cheated once, but would never do it again, because of how the wound up feeling. But mostly because of how hurt and broken the other person was.......

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