mugwump Posted May 30 Report Share Posted May 30 WELL IT IS MY JOB TO SHARE WITH ALL OF YOUCLUBBERS THE LATEST SCOOP IN THE MUSIC SCENE..HERE'S THE LATEST ON MARILYN MANSON..(For all you "gravers" out there)IS IT JUST ME OR DOES ANYONE ELSE FEEL LIKE HE TRIES TOO HARD?***************************OVERLAND PARK, KS—Stung by flagging album sales and Eminem's supplanting him as Middle America's worst nightmare, shock rockerMarilyn Manson has embarked on a door-to-door tour of suburbia in a desperate, last-ditch effort to shock and offend average Americans. Accompanied by bandmates Twiggy Ramirez, Madonna Wayne Gacy, and Zim Zum,Manson kicked off his 50-city "Boo" tour Jan. 26 in Overland Park, a conservative, middle-classsuburb of Kansas City. "When we first laid eyes on Overland Park, with its neat little frame houses, immaculatelylandscaped lawns, and SUVs in the driveways, we couldn't wait to swoop down on it like theBlack Death," said Manson, born Brian Warner in Canton, OH. "We were like, 'Welcome toour nightmare, you bloated, pustulent pigs.'" Last Friday at 4 p.m., Mark Wesley, 46, a resident of Overland Park's exclusive MapleBluff subdivision, heard the sound of "animal-like shrieking" coming from the vicinity of his frontlawn. Upon opening his front door, he was greeted by the sight of a pale and shirtless Mansoncarving a pentagram into his chest with a razor blade. "Look at me, suburban dung," Manson told Wesley. "Does this shock you?" When Wesley replied no, he said Manson became "petulant." Recalled Wesley: "He startedstamping his feet and shaking his fists, saying, 'What do you mean no? Aren't your uptight,puritanical sensibilities offended? Don't you want to censor me so you don't have to confront theugly truth I represent?' So I say, 'Well, not particularly.' Then, after a long pause, he says, 'Well,screw you, jerk!' and walks off sulking." That evening, Linda Schmidt was preparing to drive her daughter Alyssa to a Girl Scouts meeting when she found Manson standing on her porchdraped in sheep entrails. "I knew who he was, but I was kind of busy and didn't really have time to chat," Schmidt said. "He just kept standing there staring at me,expecting me to react in some way." Added Schmidt: "I tried to be nice and humor him a little. I said, 'Yesiree, that sure is some shocking satanic imagery, no doubt about it. And thatone eye with no color in the pupil, very disturbing. I'd sure like to suppress that.' I mean, what do you say to Marilyn Manson?" A deflated Manson remained on Schmidt's porch as she and Alyssa drove off. Subsequent attempts to provoke outrage were met with equal indifference. "[Manson] was standing at my front door wearing those fake breasts he wore on the cover of Mechanical Animals," retiree Judith Hahn said. "Hesaid, 'My name is Marilyn Manson, and I'm here to tear your little world apart.' I thought he was collecting for the Kiwanis food drive, so I gave himsome cans of pumpkin-pie filling." Undaunted, Manson and his entourage stepped up their assault on mainstream American sensibilities. On Tuesday, they arrived in the tiny Detroitsuburb of Grosse Pointe Farms, where stockbroker Glenn Binford answered his doorbell to find Manson hanging upside-down on a wooden cross asRamirez performed fellatio on him. "I just stood there thinking, now there's a boy who tries way too hard," Binford said. "I mean, come on: Homoerotic sacrilege went out in the late'90s." Other provocative acts by Manson—including dismembering a chicken, bathing in pig's blood, and wearing a three-piece suit of humannoses—failed to arouse anyone's ire, instead prompting comments such as "sophomoric," "trite," and "so Alice Cooper." Manson's lone brush with controversy occurred in Edina, MN, a suburb of Minneapolis. An unidentified neighborhood-watch volunteer phoned police after seeing a nude, feces-smeared Manson being led around on a leash by a dwarf dominatrix. Officers arrived on the scene, but let Manson go with a warning for parading without a city permit. "I could have given him a citation, but I figured, how much harm is he really causing?" Edina Police Officer Dan Herberger said. "I mean, he's just Marilyn Manson, for the love of Mike." The "Boo" tour was dealt a further blow when Manson learned that Eminem's The Marshall Mathers LP had been banned from all Kmart stores. Manson's current album, Holy Wood (In The Shadow Of The Valley Of Death), is still available. "Why are all you people outraged by Eminem? He's not scary!" Manson said. "He doesn't sportghoulishly pale skin or wear gender-bending make-up. He's just some regular guy. I'm the one who people should be terrified by, not him! Me!" "If you ban me," Manson continued, "I promise to rail against censorship and hypocrisy. Please? Pretty, pretty please?" By Monday, the tour appeared to have lost all momentum. Sources close to Manson described him as "exhausted and discouraged," despite nothaving even completed the first leg of the three-month tour. By the time he arrived in Hoffman Estates, IL, Manson had resorted to leaving flamingbags of dog feces on doorsteps and shining a flashlight under his chin to make himself look "spooky." He was ultimately chased from a HoffmanEstates subdivision by a group of bicycle-riding teenagers who advised him to "get [his] chalk-white goblin ass" out of their neighborhood. On Friday, Manson is slated to appear in Bethesda, MD, where many believe he will bring his tour to a premature end. "Have you people forgotten already?" Manson told The Washington Post. "You all thought I was responsible for Columbine two years ago. Well,I was! I was! I know I vehemently denied it at the time, but, really, I personally told those two kids to shoot up the school. I'm serious. I sent them ane-mail. And I told them to worship Satan, too. You hear that, kids? Marilyn Manson says you should shoot your friends in the head with a gun! Andeveryone should eat babies! And rape their dead grandparents! And poop on a church! There, now will someone please be offended?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppanils Posted May 30 Report Share Posted May 30 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted May 30 Author Report Share Posted May 30 I suspect GREEN VELVET willtry this stunt next..(Damn attention hogs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xpander Posted May 30 Report Share Posted May 30 I love the Onion... :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted May 30 Author Report Share Posted May 30 he-he...BEST ENTERTAINMENTON THE WEB!-->http://theonion.com/<---(Besides reading all the guidoposts in here that is)lol* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
echostar2 Posted May 30 Report Share Posted May 30 lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crobra Posted May 30 Report Share Posted May 30 lol - I though that was your old high school picture for second mugz!! hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
technodefechto Posted May 30 Report Share Posted May 30 wow..thats almost believeable....and that grade-school level photoshop job they did on those images is just wonderful! and no, im not a manson fan. well, not marylin manson anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gothzane Posted May 30 Report Share Posted May 30 "When we first laid eyes on Overland Park, with its neat little frame houses, immaculately landscaped lawns, and SUVs in the driveways, we couldn't wait to swoop down on it like the Black Death," said Manson, born Brian Warner in Canton, OH. "We were like, 'Welcome to our nightmare, you bloated, pustulent pigs.'" ROFLMAO!!!! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gogoamy Posted May 31 Report Share Posted May 31 Originally posted by crobra lol - I though that was your old high school picture for second mugz!! hahaha LOL!Hi Chris, How's Italy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeg Posted May 31 Report Share Posted May 31 omg, that picture is great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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