snoozi8 Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 There's the one side: they are being responsible, and if they can have a good relationship with children they must be patient and caring...Then there's the other side: why weren't they responsible enough to use protection, etc....what if the ex is a bitch, etc etc views.....? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acura Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 You only want female opinions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoozi8 Posted June 4 Author Report Share Posted June 4 I guess not... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acura Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 Originally posted by snoozi8 There's the one side: they are being responsible, and if they can have a good relationship with children they must be patient and caring...OK well here is my 2 opinion. I think how men interact with children can convey some of their character traits; some you have stated, like patience and the ability to nurture.Then there's the other side: why weren't they responsible enough to use protection, etc....what if the ex is a bitch, etc etc Using protection is the most responsible thing to do, but we all know that sometimes you get caught up in the heat of the moment,and sometimes life throws us a curve ball. I don't think it necessarily means you are irresponsible unless the thought of using protection never comes across your mind.As far as the X being a bitch, well that is always a strain. It would be even tougher in a situation like this because of the child; the child should be able to interact with both of his/her parents. If she is a nut or a bitch, etc. and he has to see her often, things could get hectic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 i never thought i would go for someone with a kid but when it really comes down to it, the fact that someone has a kid doesnt change who they are and if you care about someone, its not gonna stop you from caring about them. i guess its also different if they live with their kid or if the kids with the mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
embodiedhate Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 Is he hung? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 Well- the main reason *I* would find it a deterrent is that I am not crazy about kids... even so, I wouldn't rule someone out for that reason alone. As for the negatives you listed: Shit happens- just because someone has a kid doesn't necessarily mean they weren't using protection; birth control fails. And if they weren't- it could have been the one time they were out of condoms... it sounds cliched but yes, all it takes is ONE time... And on top of that, sometimes young people, for whatever reason, actually plan on having a child. As for a bitchy ex... well wtf can you do about that? Either you like the guy or you don't, I wouldn't let someone's ex deter me from dating him. And it's really nice to see men who are good fathers, because that's not as common as it should be... But a big advantage I would see to dating a guy with a kid... I could always hope that, if things worked out with us, he won't want any more, thus letting me off the hook! I may have answered this differently when I was younger, but it's not exactly uncommon for people my age to be married and starting their family... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 Originally posted by somebitch i never thought i would go for someone with a kid but when it really comes down to it, the fact that someone has a kid doesnt change who they are and if you care about someone, its not gonna stop you from caring about them. i guess its also different if they live with their kid or if the kids with the mother. spoken like a true bitch....I never thougth I'd fall for someone with a kid...but I did just two years ago...Him and I were great, his son was amazing...and what was even better was seeing how much he loved his son, and how he would go to the ends of the earth just to make him happy. The two of them were like best friends, and in the end....I left him so that the two of them can continue to stay that way. I won't go into details...but there was a bit of a sketchy past that my ex had to get over...and it was coming back to haunt him. None of his problems had anything to do with me...and I was simply there as a spectator and a shoulder to cry on...but I realized in the end his focus should be more on his son, and not us......so yeah...that's my story.....Would I do it again....Who knows??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perns2002 Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 I would date someone with a kid, Date though. Unless things got serious, for the childs well being and if the ex is a bitch, I woud not want the child, this is going to come out wrong, around much not cuz I hate kids but cuz I would not want the child to get hurt or attached if it didn't work. Or the wrong Idea. If we were to get serious then bring the child around if it were going to def. be something serious. Not saying I never want to meet the child I woudl just keeo my distance and make sure he/she understood that we were freinds. IMO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
embodiedhate Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 Originally posted by perns2002 I would date someone with a kid, Date though. Unless things got serious, for the childs well being and if the ex is a bitch, I woud not want the child, this is going to come out wrong, around much not cuz I hate kids but cuz I would not want the child to get hurt or attached if it didn't work. Or the wrong Idea. If we were to get serious then bring the child around if it were going to def. be something serious. Not saying I never want to meet the child I woudl just keeo my distance and make sure he/she understood that we were freinds. IMO I don't understand, you would or would NOT want the child around? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perns2002 Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 Originally posted by embodiedhate Lets say we date for only a little while. the child gets used to be being around then I am *poof* gone. Then his/her dad meets soemone else and it s the same thing. The child gets the wrong impression of their father or mother and it causes a bunch of behavioral problems and social problems.......... it just usn't healthy, I am speaking from experience things I have seen. I don't understand, you would or would NOT want the child around? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perns2002 Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 Originally posted by embodiedhate Lets say we date for only a little while. the child gets used to be being around then I am *poof* gone. Then his/her dad meets soemone else and it s the same thing. The child gets the wrong impression of their father or mother and it causes a bunch of behavioral problems and social problems.......... it just usn't healthy, I am speaking from experience things I have seen. I don't understand, you would or would NOT want the child around? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
embodiedhate Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 Except for the bottom part, I don't remember saying that, but if you insist.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perns2002 Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 Originally posted by embodiedhate Except for the bottom part, I don't remember saying that, but if you insist.... huh I answered your ? silly look at the whole thread.................? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeg Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 I'm pregnant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 this might sound selfish, but i don't think i could handle being with a guy who has kids...i'd rather have the kids with him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acura Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 Originally posted by sassa this might sound selfish, but i don't think i could handle being with a guy who has kids...i'd rather have the kids with him I don't think it is selfish at all, it is a big issue, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
synderella420 Posted June 4 Report Share Posted June 4 Originally posted by sassa this might sound selfish, but i don't think i could handle being with a guy who has kids...i'd rather have the kids with him I agree....plain out and simple I dont like the Idea of him having a "Baby's Momma" because there will always be a connection there.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stacychase Posted June 5 Report Share Posted June 5 I dated a man with 2 kids for a little over 5 years. I had a great relationship with 1 and an ok relationship with the other. However with time I loved them both, a lot! When we split it was harder to not have contact with the kids than it was to have ended the relationship.At that point I vowed never, ever to get involved with a man with kids again. However as you get older the chances of meeting a man without children gets more diffucult.Also I do not think have children means you were not responsible. Many people get married, have a child and than get divorced. Also nothing is 100% safe, except masterbation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted June 5 Report Share Posted June 5 ....so many diverse opinions on this issue...kinda interesting actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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