naomi1 Posted June 19 Report Share Posted June 19 We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rulesfrom the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are allnumbered "1" ON PURPOSE!1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put itdown. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complainingabout you leaving it down.1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if wecan find the perfect present yet again! 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of thetides. Let it be.1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive thanshort hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is thatmarried women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of itthat way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints donot work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just sayit!1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on acalendar. Remind us frequentlybeforehand.1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'dbe any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good withyour dress? 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That'swhat we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Check your oil! Please. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. Infact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect usto act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse toanswer.1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the waysmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want itdone. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do ityourself.1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first twomonths we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to yourgirlfriends. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We haveno idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack ofmind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act likenothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth thehassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answeryou don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monstertrucks.1. You have enough clothes.1. You have too many shoes.1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee orsome war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they'resaying anyway.) 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiztogether. No, it doesn't matter which quiz. 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couchtonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping. 1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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