And so the storm passes once again(I'm back)

[mugwump]

Yup..

dark shit...

loosing my job kinda

pushed me over the edge..

I was still hurting from other

stuff and then WHAMO!

Boss: "Umm look it's not personal

we just have to let most of the graphics

dept go for the summer..Come back in Fall"

MUGZ: "but..how am I gonna pay rent?"

Boss: "You'll figure something out"

*******

(Time elapses and Mugz is shit faced

at a local dive bar..stumbles out into

the street and get's nailed by a car.

As he is laying there his last thoughts

are..shit that hurt. Mugz comes to

with a doctor next to him.

Nothing broken but the booze and the scare

leave him feeling like he just got hit by a train..

In any case the car was going slow thankfully.

Mugz goes home...

Amy's mad because

he's drunk..Mugz keeps drinking

and drinking and...

Next day he wakes up with a bad

hangover and a shit load of

threads on CP about the end of the

world or something..

Mugz goes out to buy V8

and Vodka for breakfast.

By noon Mugz is so hammered again that

he starts to talk to himself..

seeing things..

people who are not there..

are they real..

Mugz blacks out..

Looses track of time..

time..

time..

BLACK.

Music.

Where am I?

DJ RAP and Sara Walker.

I see familiar faces but I am so shit

faced that I make an ass out of myself with

everyone.

Katie (K-swing)

walks me to the path..

I collapse and she drags me.

K-Swing: "WAKE UP MAN!

WHAT ARE YOU ON?"

Mugz: "An open bar tab..shit I left my

credit card at Baktun.."

Black out again...

Path train..

people are starring..

I'm rambling..

I vomit.

Wake up on the stoop of my apt..

My roomate Dan finds me there.

Couldn't open the door..

Don't remember why..

I miss Amy..

she's gone to Mexico

I hurt..

I'm cold

from hours

of being outside..

I broke my cell phone.

Dan drags me in and carries me to the couch.

I sleep....

Wake up and repeat the pattern..

V8..

Vodka..

Everything spinning but the Bloody marry

makes it stand still..

But colors are really bright..

I haven't eaten for how long?

The People in the living room are just my

masks that I collect from around the w orld..

They come alive again..

I go out..

KOROVA MILK BAR

I deside to stick

to something light..

BEER.

Ten beers later I Realize

that perhaps the beer isn't "LIGHT"

when you drink more than a six pack within

a first hour...

American psycho is playing on TV..

(How ironic)

I go home..

Dan and Luna

are over...

Mushrooms?

Hell why not...

Half an hour later we are all laying down

listening to the

ORB..

amaaaaaaazing...

I'm fighting Demons in my head...

I'm in TRON..

I'm digital..

I AM A ROBOT!

Cry..

sad.....

angry...

I fight the demons.

I talk about the end of the world..

I want to crawl into a dream

and never come back....

no sleep..just faded

mushroom dreams..

I go back to my room

and jerk off..

Porn is 3-D..

I can't get off...

Mushrooms have reduced me to a fleshy mess

of numbness..

I lay down and try to sleep.

I throw on some system 7..

I watch A.I....

the sun is high now..

I hurt..

but THE STORM HAS PASSED.

I am MUGZ AGAIN...

At least...

for the time being anyway.

*So how was your weekend?

[gothzane]

damn bro...save that shit.

sorry..inable to mentally function...

Broken from Arc

man i miss vinyl

[cotoncandydream]

Call me at home, I think it's time to get that one-way to Fucimino for the summer. Momma's hugs do wonders for the soul love.

[mugwump]

Yea..

I'm making plans to go see mama.

I miss ya Lainie..

you use to kick my ass back

into reality.

In any case..

The storm is gone..

and now I am in t he

sun once again..

Wearing headphones

and staying away from substances until

the next Tsunami hits me..

Because when it comes,

there's just nothing I can do except

let the winds take me where they may.

but I'm home now,

and all is good.

[cotoncandydream]

Miss you too Mugz!!!! I know how you feel brother I know how you feel!

[thehacker]

hunter s thompson called for you...

he wants his typewriter and suitcase full of drugs back, pronto!

[mugwump]

Originally posted by thehacker

hunter s thompson called for you...

he wants his typewriter and suitcase full of drugs back, pronto!

Tell him I lost them

in Interzone..

I apologize but that doctor Benway

fella had me hopped up

on the black meat..

and not even the MUGWUMP

JIZZM was snapping me out of it..

*(Mugwump Jizzm has been known

to reverse the side effects of The

Brazillian Aquatic Centepede..

ie, "The Black meat")

So I will lay low for a while

in the guise of love...

In order to keep the free agents

at bay.

(Nice sig man)

[bustaknut2001]

What a night you had my man! You should stay away from alcohol.

[joeg]

You gave me quite a scare with that phonecall... seriously man... go home for a bit, get another dog... try and start over... Theres more to you than drugs/alcohol... go rediscover that side of yourself...

[mugwump]

Originally posted by joeg

You gave me quite a scare with that phonecall... seriously man... go home for a bit, get another dog... try and start over... Theres more to you than drugs/alcohol... go rediscover that side of yourself...

The other side of me had been buried

miles below a frozen ice...

Much like the character DAVID

in A.I..

When I found out there

was no Blue Fairie

my mind broke...

It took one certain

go-go amy to drag me back up

to the surface and

try to thaw my mind

out...

ocassionaly though

I re-lapse..

But at least she's pointing

me in the right direction

of government issued happy pills

and less self medication.

I need to see the ocean

of Tuscany..

I neeed to fall back in love

with the world and believe

people are good again..

I need to fall back in love

with humanity and somehow

fall back in love

with myself..

A self that died with a past

love affair that left me feeling

worthless, empty and used..

friendships that betrayed

me and made me see that

in NY everyone wears masks

and costumes...

To see the truth

behind those masks

broke my mind...

but I'm slowly coming around

again...

and before I TRUELY

go home I plan to

MAKE something in this

city.

Something constructive...

something that my

sorrow and self destructive

nature just keeps getting in the way of.

THE BEST IS YET TO COME:

"Mugwump's last stomp"