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djjonmartin

"Friends" and relationships ...

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OK, I've got a friend who's calling me looking for advice, and I'm not sure if I qualify, 'cause I'd never be in the situation in the first place.

He's in a relationship for a couple years now, monogomous, gay as all hell, and so far from what I've seen the relationship has been pretty drama-free - no cheating, lying, games, etc.

So, his b/f has a best FRIEND who likes to get into trouble - too much of everything, if you know what i mean.

Well, so the FRIEND is always bringing about these dramas that affect my boy's relationship. He's like the "drama queen" - always needy and chasing after things - drugs, dick, whatever, and MY friend's getting sick of how his b/f always caters to it, but he doesn't want to quit his b/f, 'cause they pretty much have a great relationship otherwise (which is very rare for my boy).

Most recently, the "FRIEND" stole a LOT of money from the b/f and although my friend is telling his b/f that "a friend wouldn't do that to you", etc. etc., his b/f is like "oh, well we'll work it out ... our friendship is more important" ... "it's my friendship and my business, not yours" ... blah blah blah.

He's thinking if this goes on he'll have to break up with his b/f ... I don't know what to tell him, and he's been callin me all weekend! If it were me, I'd probably say "call me when you figure out what's important in your life", but that's me.

Question #1: if a friend steals from you, are they your friend?

Question #2: if your b/f or g/f has a friend that continually impacts your relationship, what do ya do?

Question #3: what color was the bear?

This is actually a serious issue with him, so any insight you all might be able to provide will be appreciated and passed along ('cause I don't have time to be giving out advice at home - that's what the internet is for!)

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wow, that's a tough one...stealing is HUGE, as is drama...however, maybe the kid is really in too deep and is reaching out, in which case, it would be pretty d*ck, of the BF to blow him off at a critical time...i would say that your boy needs to really sit down and talk to his BF...not to make him choose, but to say something to the effect of "look--this is really hurting our relationship...i understand you need to be there for your friend, but you can not babysit him either or he will never take responsibility for himself", cause it sounds like the friend is on a path to disaster and sometimes the only way we get off that path is if we hit bottom...making the BF make a choice will backfire, but the BF needs to let the friend grow up a little on his own...

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yeah, stealing and cheating and lying and pretty much IT in my book...but, not knowing the whole story, i can't tell ya the guy should "hit the road jack", lol...cause if my BEST or a really close friend stole from me, i would see it as a cry for help more than anything else...ya know?

but that is definitely f*c*ked up, and that friend certainly does not have much respect for the BF or YOUR friend for that matter...

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