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Warning Labels


naomi1

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>Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor

>manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

>

>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

>

>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

>

>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a giraffe in heat.

>

>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

>

>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

>

> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. (aren't they???)

>

>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

>

>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees, and lower back. (hmmm)

>

>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

>

>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

>

>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

>

>WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode.

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