tastey Posted July 20 Report Share Posted July 20 one of my best friends (female) just called. her father moved out yesterday and went on vacation. with the mother of my friend´s best girlfriend. she moved out as well. bam! just like that. without any forewarning (at least neither of the girls noticed). 30 years married gone just like that. both the father of my friend and the mother of her best girlfriend are still legally married to their original partners, who are totally destroyed now. makes you just want to open yourself to other people even more doesn´t it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted July 20 Report Share Posted July 20 Damn this is screwed up, I feel really bad for the partners left behind as well as your friends, it must feel really awkward for them too. But thanks your last sentence at least proved to me that you do have some deeper issues with trust in relationships...hence I guess the whole playing around thing and using girls as "toys" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted July 20 Author Report Share Posted July 20 Originally posted by flying_high Damn this is screwed up, I feel really bad for the partners left behind as well as your friends, it must feel really awkward for them too. But thanks your last sentence at least proved to me that you do have some deeper issues with trust in relationships...hence I guess the whole playing around thing and using girls as "toys" true, i generally don´t trust (many) people. i said that before i think. and i don´t trust in relationships. i get out of the situation what i want and when i´m done with it or don´t get that what i want any more i´m gone. what do you NEED other people for anyway? i don´t need anybody but myself. think about this seriously, you don´t NECCESSARLY NEED nobody but yourself. call me a "user" but i´m at least happy "user". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted July 20 Report Share Posted July 20 You are right, I don't believe in NEED either. The best relationships are those where two independent people, that don't need eachother to be able to live, CHOSE to be with eachother and WANT to be with eachother.Don't worry (and I know you don't ), even you will learn that one day...and hey, I'm sure you will find that feeling too one day (it would be bad if you would know everything already being 19....where is the learning from experiences etc....I'm nearly 10 years older than you and believe me, I KNOW that your time will come as well...if you want it or not, if you are ready or not, it doesn't matter, it just happens) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nyumaggie Posted July 20 Report Share Posted July 20 that's awful. after 30 years I could never do something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted July 20 Report Share Posted July 20 Yes that is really really bad, I just hope that those two people thought really long and thoroughly about their feelings and lifes. I mean somehow I don't want to say you SHOULD NEVER do that either. What if you meet the ONE person and you are already married, have a family or whatever..... your marriage might be at a point where both partners aren't happy anymore.... is it then still wrong to give in to your feelings Mmhhh, I don't really know...I just hope for the sake of both of those families that the two that run away, thought long and hard about the implications their actions would have...I also think they should have cleared up the situation before they took any action or at least seperate from their partners for a while in order to make sure that their feelings are for real. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted July 20 Author Report Share Posted July 20 Originally posted by flying_high You are right, I don't believe in NEED either. The best relationships are those where two independent people, that don't need eachother to be able to live, CHOSE to be with eachother and WANT to be with eachother.i agree. all girls i´ve had a thing you could call "relationship" with became dependent though over time. funny thing is, the more independent i behave the more dependent they become. stupid reverse psychologyDon't worry (and I know you don't ), even you will learn that one day...and hey, I'm sure you will find that feeling too one day (it would be bad if you would know everything already being 19....where is the learning from experiences etc....I'm nearly 10 years older than you and believe me, I KNOW that your time will come as well...if you want it or not, if you are ready or not, it doesn't matter, it just happens) you never know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted July 20 Author Report Share Posted July 20 Originally posted by flying_high is it then still wrong to give in to your feelings noI just hope for the sake of both of those families that the two that run away, thought long and hard about the implications their actions would have...I also think they should have cleared up the situation before they took any action or at least seperate from their partners for a while in order to make sure that their feelings are for real. exactly. this just sounded too much of an "in the moment" decision. i mean she told me she was having dinner in a restaurant with her family the EVENING BEFORE. and she said she did not notice ANYTHING UNUSUAL.now imagine you have dinner with your parents in the evening, you sleep, your father goes to work the next day. does not come home in the evening. calls the next day and tells you he´s moved out and is on a "love cruise" with your best friend´s mother. how fucked up is that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying_high Posted July 20 Report Share Posted July 20 You're right that doesn't sound like deeply thought through...how are the girls handling it...they are best friends right?!? Well I know one thing for sure...I would give my parent a good kick in the ass and "ne Standpauke"...what the hell is wrong with them for not clearing up and 'preparing' the families beforehand...that is just soo inconsiderate and wrong (whatever feelings might be there, it doesn't justify treating people who share your life that way). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastey Posted July 20 Author Report Share Posted July 20 Originally posted by flying_high You're right that doesn't sound like deeply thought through...how are the girls handling it...they are best friends right?!? Well I know one thing for sure...I would give my parent a good kick in the ass and "ne Standpauke"...what the hell is wrong with them for not clearing up and 'preparing' the families beforehand...that is just soo inconsiderate and wrong (whatever feelings might be there, it doesn't justify treating people who share your life that way). she said she didn´t now whether to cry or to laugh. neither did her friend. i think they´ll get over it together. i mean, what else is there to do? anyway, i´ll go meet her now. cu tomorrow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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