The GUIDO checklist, do you have what it takes?

[ou812]

This was taken from ROXYGUY.COM..............hehehehehehe:

Description

So what does a Roxy Guy look like and do? Well there are easy characteristics that give it away.

First and foremost, he's big and he's jacked. His muscles are bulging. This could be the result

of steroids, but that's anyone's guess. Why must he be big? A few reasons. He needs to show

off his manlihood, show off his testosterone, and lastly, he needs the muscles to perform the Roxy Guy dance moves (as you'll later see).

Clothing - The Roxy Guy needs to show off his brawn so he will be wearing the tightest fitting clothing. Shit, he may even be seen without a shirt.

Next, when he drinks from a glass (usually not a beer drinker) he has the straw bent over the rim of

the glass and held in place with his right or left index finger (depending on which hand he's holding

the drink). He needs to bend the straw to show that he has the strength to do it and most importantly, to maintain it there.

The Roxy Guy takes special care in how he drinks. As most people drink, you bring the glass from the the hand straight up to the mouth. But you see, The Roxy Guy can't do this. His lat muscles (which are the back muscles under the armpits) get in the way. Therefore, The Roxy Guy MUST take is arm around from his side to the front of his face. This allows superfluous motion so he can drink.

After taking a sip, The Roxy Guy needs to show affirmation to the plethora of "imaginary" women around him. So what he does is, he pucks his lips forward and gives an affirmative, yet arrogant, pucker. He does this as he looks to the left, to the middle, then to the right, in a smooth motion.

Last, as he proceeds with the second part of #4, he raises his right hand (if drink is in left hand) and makes a fist and starts motioning back and forth, again showing his affirmation. This is the final and most important step in determining if you have a Roxy Guy in front of you.

You need all these steps to determine if you have a Roxy Guy.

So now that you know what The Roxy Guy is, want to be one? It's not tough, and with some simple lessons, you will be on your fine way to becoming a Roxy Guy.

HOW TO BECOME A ROXY GUY

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If you think you can become a Roxy Guy overnight, think again. It's not that simple.

You may get the mechanics figured out quickly, but if you don't have the brawn and

technique, then forget it. But, regardless, like Yoda...I will show you the Way.

STEP 1: WORKOUT

That's right. Hit the gym. You need to pump up so get out and pump some iron.

Pay special attention to your lat muscles and finger muscles. These will come in

handy later. Protein shakes/bars/supplements. You name it, take it.

Steroids will also, most definitely help you speed up the process of you becoming a

Roxy Guy much quickly. Please note, I do not condone the use of steroids.

STEP 2: PURCHASE NEW CLOTHING

Once you pumped up, then you must buy some new threads to show off your muscles.

Sorry, those khaki pants, button down shirts won't do anymore. You need to update

your clubwear. I'm talking DKNY, D&G, Armani Exchange, Versace, and the likes.

Be sure to buy the tops a few sizes smaller so they are nice and tight on you. Chicks

love seeing the sweat just soaking up on you.

By the way, DKNY stands for Donna Karen New York. D&G stands for Dolce

E Gabbana. You'll need to be ready to know these higher brands of clothing for men.

Look in the mirror. You look good now, huh? Sweet, we're getting there.

STEP 3: LEARN THE MOTIONS

Ok you got the look down, now you need the moves. First step is the drink. Roxy Guys

rarely drink beers. You need mixed drinks - Vodka cranberry, gin and tonic, etc. My personals are

Greey Goose Orange and Tonic, Kettle 1, and Red Bull & Vodka.

Make sure your drink comes with a straw because you need to show you can bend it.

OK so now you have the drink and straw here's what you do. Bend the straw over the rim of

the glass and hold it in place with your index finger. See simple isn't it? You may need to do

this exercise daily to strengthen the muscle in your index finger for this. Next extend your last two

fingers, like your drinking from a tea cup.

Now the drinking itself. With the drink in hand swing your arm around to your mouth. See, your

lat muscles don't get in the way (because now you are jacked you can't drink straight anymore - it's

the price you pay for being The Roxy Guy)

After the sip, puck your lips and look to the left, middle, then right. You can start from the right if you wish.

Now with the other arm, clench your fist and bang it in the air. Now you are looking good, baby.

This is greatly helped with the right kind of music.

STEP 4: WHAT TO SAY TO A GIRL AS A ROXY GUY

So now that you have mastered the technique of The Roxy Guy, what do you do when women start

flocking to you. After all, you're in a club, what else do you want but to go home with a foxy

lady, right? All you have to remember when talking to a fine chick at a club is always let her know

you are The Roxy Guy. How do you do that? Well besides doing all the steps above, as your talking

to the foxy lady be sure you stare at YOUR biceps. That's right YOUR own biceps. Both of them. And

as you stare at them be sure to speak to her, glancing at your arms and her, moreso your arms. For added

affect rub your chest and flex your chest as well. With this in mind, she will no doubt know you are The Roxy Guy.

OH YEAH! YOU ARE NOW THE ROXY GUY!!!

Now you need to learn the Roxy Guy Dance Moves

HOW TO DANCE LIKE A ROXY GUY

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Now that you've mastered the moves, drinking, and flexing, you'll need to learn the dances

of the Roxy Guy. We'll start with the basic moves, then progress.

A reminder for these moves. During all dances:

1. Puck your lips forward and give an affirmative, yet arrogant, pucker.

2. Keep your arm muscles flexed. A Roxy Guy needs to show off his physique at ALL times.

3. Stare at every woman as you dance.

4. Never wipe the sweat from your face.

Dance 1: Bobbing

The easiest move. Bob back and forth. Make sure you do it in conjuction with the music, keep

your lips pucked with the arrogant yet affirmative look, and muscles flexed.

Dance 2: Side to Side

A very simple motion. Do the bobbing, but now move to the left then to the right,

back to the left, then to the right, etc. Get it?

Dance 3: Tricep Pulldown or Pogo Stick

As a Roxy Guy you need to show off your muscles. This dance allows you to do it.

Like the Tricep Pulldown weight move, you pretend you are holding a bar parallel

to your body, with your hands close together, both clenched in fists. Now keep

your hands about 5 inches apart. Now go up and down like the Tricep Pulldown.

Do it fast and flex your triceps. Now look to the left, middle, right, then middle,

left, middle, right, etc. Now do the Side To Side. This is a GREAT dance move,

one of my favorites.

Dance 4: Face Pulldown

Pretend you have a mask on. To remove it grab the top portion where your forehead is and

pull straight down. Like this motion, you do the same for the face pulldown. But in this

dance move you do one hand at a time. So, right hand pulldown, then left hand pulldown.

Proceed doing this back and forth with both hands. Don't forget to flex..

Dance 5: Nordic Track

This is the ultimate Roxy Guy dance move. When you've learned this dance, you are the top.

This is pretty much a summation of the above. You've all seen the Nordic Track

commercials, right? Remember the cross country ski machine? Well the motions are

similar.

Here's what you do. Like the Face PullDown, instead of pulling from your face, pull from

further away from your face and pull from the opposite side of your arms. So if you are

pulling with your right, outstretch your arm to the LEFT and pull down and inward from the

left side. For the left arm, pull down from the right. Practice this first so you get the hang

of it.

Once that's mastered you need the footwork. When you outstretch your right arm, kick out

your left leg. As you pull in, bring in your left leg. Now do the same for your left arm and right

leg. This is a toughie so keep trying till you get it in a superfluous motion. Wow, the chicks

will love you if you can do this dance move.

The last advice I can give is mix up all these moves and start making your own routine. For

example I like the Tri Pulldown, with side to side, and throwing in some full body circle spins.

You will have reached Roxy Guy to the fullest.

[Reeni]

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