Guest jroo Posted August 5 Report Share Posted August 5 Originally posted by pluryou Well, I e-mailed him this letter:Hi! Howz ya doin? I have a very important ? to ask and I'm gonna not beat around the bush like I have been doing. Is there any possibility of us getting back together? (more or less in the near future) No one knows what the future holds but that goes for anyone and anything. Yes, your probably like what the hell are you asking this for. Well, I've been getting mixed signals with you saying I liss you and wanting to come and see me. Is it a friend thing? If anything, please simply reply with a yes or no when you get this. However this turns out I hope we can at least remain good friends. You know I do still care about you. It may sound stupid but I worry to. Not heavily but when you don't e-mail me in over a week I begin to wonder what's up. I for sure wanna stay in contact. Remember if there is anything you ever need feel free to ask me. W/B Thank you. I liss you. TTFN! There was more but that's it for the most part. Liss means I love u and I miss u (our own little thing) Truth be told we never even fought. well, i guess that you're allowed to fuck your ex once or twice before it is completely over. but its pretty fucked up only becasue there is someone else involved. the new guy that you like. consider this, if you want to do things right, after you try and talk to your ex you cant talk to the new guy anymore. i know its tough, and you just want it all, but what if it happened to you? hell, you could try this, tell them both about each other and just get a threesome going on, that might work too!! there are ways to act when you're single and ways to act when you're dating. just as long as you're up front nobody will really care what you do. BUT HEAR THIS. it'll never be the same with your ex. and being friends wont work either. you should just cut out the relationship. unless you want added stress and drama in your life?? one of you two will always care more than the other one will. you both will get jealous and add stress to each other. in my opinion its not worth it. what makes it harder is that fact that you dont want to turn your back on the person. that you want to be the bigger person. (ok, i am totally getting intrupted by a co-worker while writing this, so i dont know if it makes any sense at all.) anyway, just live your life and have fun. if the pieces fit then make the puzzle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pluryou Posted August 5 Author Report Share Posted August 5 Well, I got an answer back. My ex said I do liss you, alot but realistically I don't think we will be getting back together in the near future. I want to come and see you because I want to see you, I miss yu. That's probably not going to happen because I am PCSing. I'm sorry for hurting you.My response: Thank you for writing back. I know also realistically we could not be together. I just wanted to be sure. I can say I do feel relieved. Don't think that you hurt me it wasn't intentional.There you have it folks. We will remain friends. As for the other guy we decided we would remain friends to. Thanx everyone once again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicman Posted August 5 Report Share Posted August 5 well yeah, it just wasnt gonna happen. if i was in a similar situation i would just quit my job and move wherever the significant other was. as i grwo older i realize this more than ever, how hard it is to meet soemone and have that someone have the same feeling you have for them, 'cos if it aint the job, its distance, its family, its age, its whatever you want, but there will aalways be an excuse for why it wouldnt work even without really giving it a try....my $0.69 cents Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvetgoldmire Posted August 5 Report Share Posted August 5 Wise words from the almighty VicMan!Vic- You are a gentleman and a scholar.Plur- Hey, shit happens, and there are a bunch of glorious people out there. Maybe you aren't ready to be with someone yet. Maybe wait a bit longer, even though you know you and your ex are just friends, and when you're at the point where you are in love with being single, and you meet someone who is worth giving up being single for, then you know it's time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pluryou Posted August 5 Author Report Share Posted August 5 You can't quit the Army. The only option we had was to rush and get married. Everyone knows that is not the best idea. We atleast wanted to live together 1st. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicman Posted August 5 Report Share Posted August 5 just go AWOL i dunno. if he comes to visit you guys should talk, have a long talk and see what you guys want and where you want to go.one thing is e-mail, and phone calls and another thing is sitting face to face and talking about everything in front of each other. things are easier said over the phone and e-mail because you dont have the person in front of you and dont have the non-verbal part of the interaction to go with.one might be calling the significant other over the phone saying all the gooey stuff while watching an old John Holmes video, or Monday Night Football, you get my drift? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadamMillie Posted August 5 Report Share Posted August 5 oh man i have a ton of thoughts but i'm losing themanyway, plury, u did awesome girl by bringing it all out in the open. communication is one of the most difficult things for people to do, especially when people are insecure about how someone else feels about them, etc etc. so the fact that you were straight up and asked is AWESOME. plus now you know exactly where y'all stand with each other. which is exactly the point.second, i think it was jroo who said it, but i 100% disagree - ex'es CAN be friends, but only after a period of cold turkey. cold turkey is KEY. and yes old feelings can come back but in my experience you just have to remember why it was that y'all did not work out. plus it helps if you're w/ someone else.thirdly, i 100% agree w/ jroo/buster/or whoever it was that said if you break up over distance, it's not really the distance, it's always something else, the distance just brings it out that much more and it's easy to blame distance as the reason why y'all broke up. i'm now in my second long-distance r'ship, and now that i can take a step back from the first one and look at it w/ an objective eye, i can absolutely see the real reasons why we broke up, and not blame the distance factor. in fact, now that i think about it, the distance was actually a good thing in that one - we prolly would've stayed together longer had it not been for the distance and would've had more heartache in the end in the breakup (which is scary to think, there was a lot of heartache to begin w/ in that one). my main point, i guess, is that r'ships CAN survive distance (in my opinion) as long as the distance is not a PERMANENT thing. either the assignment will end (for military people) or school/work assignment/project will end or someone will move (eventually). if it's real, someone will make the sacrifice.whew...ok, that's it:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicman Posted August 5 Report Share Posted August 5 what millie said...i hadnt caught that part what jroo said, but i agree with millie, ex's can be friends. one of mine lives down the road and after a period of cold turkey weve kept in contact and hang out from time to time even though its been about 5 years since we split up, i do consider her a friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jroo Posted August 5 Report Share Posted August 5 alright, i'll agree with the cold turkey part. i still talk to an ex from high school, but that is different then my recent ex. you know? the time away i guess. thats cool how everything worked out pluryou Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicman Posted August 5 Report Share Posted August 5 yeh, its definitly the time, after things cool down a bit sometimes it does work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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