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Saint

Toy puppy

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So there I was, sucking some skunk, minding my own business...BOOM!!! I hear a smackage somewhere off in the bush (Central Park woods).

Being the explorative cat that I am, I go wondering further into the woods to see what's out there. It's a bit dark, the moon is beginning to pull its pants down in the sky, and the sleeping rats are plotting their way out of slumber. So there I was, sucking some skunk, deciding to not mind my own business, creeping towards the weeded echo of a slappage.

Through skinny stalks and dried leaves, I see nothing (Puff). Yeah, I see nothing. All is well. Not a movement in sight (Puff).

The cheeba's starting to grasp my nuts right around this time. My schizophrenia's kicking in...I'm becoming part cat, part pitchfork...horny as hell with no outlet but a fleeing sunset to warm my libido (My girl's off working). BOOM!! I hear it again...only this time it's more like a PATT!! than a BOOM!!

The echo plays seesaw in my skull...the branches are caressing me...the night is blanketing my ribs...Shit, it's a ghost, it's a rabid zebra...shit, it's...it's...it's an old lady. Yeah. I see her through the bushes. She's real fucking old. Naked and old. Oh damn, she has a long, thick branch. Oh damn, there's a set of pink buttcheeks wailing underneath her nipples (located just above her knobby knees.)

Those cheeks (Puff), I soon found out, belonged to a young boy. SMAAAACKKKKK!!! She flung at his ass. Slowly, I saw the lad’s ass turn pinker...and pinker...and red. Through the darkness, the brightness of his ass could be seen by a weekend weedhead. I had wondered off the silken road where lust tongues action in the woods.

I coughed. She turned and saw me (although her head stopped turning when her eyes met my eyes, her chest kept swinging into the direction of the ever expanding universe.) She grinned. I got a stiffy...got paranoid that I had gotten so stiff and supple, firm and eager like a shiatsu in Emeril's basin.

I ran. I ran my ass off, scared of what my second brain would do had I stared that saggy beast down with the power of my ego. I ran, and ran, and ran awkwardly for three long blocks...finally in my crib, free from the night, free from the fright, free from the image of sagging tits merging with sagging thigh.

I was safe (Puff). I was safe.

Saint!!!

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Originally posted by Saint

I didn't know you could see my tale from there...that's very encouraging. **Saint flaps his ass and flies away**

Saint!!!

Well you left a trail from the last time we were together so you were easy to find.

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I remember now. That evening you had lime green lipstick on. I was totally weeded. I awoke the next evening with a lime green dick...

I thought I had a severe case of herpes!

Luckily, my balls were still tingling so I knew it had to be you that worked it!

Saint!!!

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Originally posted by Saint

I remember now. That evening you had lime green lipstick on. I was totally weeded. I awoke the next evening with a lime green dick...

I thought I had a severe case of herpes!

Luckily, my balls were still tingling so I knew it had to be you that worked it!

Saint!!!

HAHAHAHA! Damn! I trying to be incognito. That was the day I was dressed like a giant cucumber. Hence the green lipstick.

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