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turpentyine

POLL How often a day do u masturbate???

How many times a day do u masturbate? (ladies and gentlemen)  

17 members have voted

  1. 1. How many times a day do u masturbate? (ladies and gentlemen)

    • 1 time
      9
    • 2 times
      8
    • 3 times
      0
    • 4 times
      0
    • 5 times
      0
    • 6 times
      1


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. . . hmm . . such an intriguing question . . . How many times a day do I masturbate? . . . Gosh . . I'd have to say between 34 and 37 times a day . . . . I mean, when I get a spare minute, I'm slappin' the shit out of that pickle no matter what the setting . . .

. . . It's gettin kinda hard ( no pun intended :tongue: ) to find a place to slap the salami nowadays at work . . . I mean, I"m working computers from 8 to 4 . . It's kinda hard to get a good rub when the work load has been high . . . I used to be able to squeeze one or two off between high level smokey back room financing meetings . . . . but not now . . Oh no, now I gotta tool with this computer and tool with that . . . It's just a whole lotta toolin' goin' on . . you get me? . . LOTSA TOOLAGE . . .

. . . But none of the good kind . . :( . . SO now I have to compress my maturbatory cycle into just a few short hours of the day . . . Usually between 5:30 and 7:30 . . . I figure I'm good for at least 25 in that time period . . then save the next 6 or 7 before I go to sleep later in the night . . .maybe 5 or so more if things are frisky . . . Only thing is, friends get kinda pesky about getting me out of the house at that time a day . .

. . . Sheesh, I mean what's up with that?? . . Like, how can you possibly tell me leaving the house for a night filled with traffic, smelly trains and Transvestite hookers named 'Violet' is more pleasurable then grasping that shaft and stroking to seminal glory . . . Wrangling that funky pickle of pulsating joy like the bad vegetable it IS!! . . . Yeeeeeee Haaawwwwww! . . . :whip2: . . . .

. . . . :what: . . . :smoke: . . . .

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Originally posted by phuturephunk

. . . . Plebians . . . I can see all of yall's sense of humor is about as fine tuned as your ability to find the right fucking hole . . . :rolleyes: . . . .

i actually thought it was rather well-written, but what did you want me to say :rolleyes: ?

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