i need help, im an addict...

[t0nythelover]

im addicted to downers. my life has become a crazy cycle of trying to get fucked up and pass out just to pass time away because i hate my fucking life. whenever im sober i get depressed or angry or feel lots of anxiety. fuck, i dont know what to do anymore, but for now ill be happy with admitting i have a problem.

[trajik]

I went thru the same thing in the beginning of this year with K.

Just find something productive you like doing that makes you happy. A hobby. Go out and get a change of scenery. Spend more time awake during the day. Excersize.

Do whatever it takes to stay off the drugs long enough to remember what it is about life you like.

I have a few friends right now that sit at home all night looking bored as fuck because they don't have drugs and have nothing to do. They used to be social and outgoing. If they stay clean long enough to remember how to be entertained without drugs they'll be all good again.

You just gotta change your habits back to what you know made you happy in the past.

And most of all, be patient. It won't happen overnight.

You can't have highs without the lows man, just tough out the lows and you'll be fine

[t0nythelover]

Originally posted by trajik

I went thru the same thing in the beginning of this year with K.

Just find something productive you like doing that makes you happy. A hobby. Go out and get a change of scenery. Spend more time awake during the day. Excersize.

Do whatever it takes to stay off the drugs long enough to remember what it is about life you like.

I have a few friends right now that sit at home all night looking bored as fuck because they don't have drugs and have nothing to do. They used to be social and outgoing. If they stay clean long enough to remember how to be entertained without drugs they'll be all good again.

You just gotta change your habits back to what you know made you happy in the past.

And most of all, be patient. It won't happen overnight.

You can't have highs without the lows man, just tough out the lows and you'll be fine

thanx for the advice. my problem is that i havent been happy in along time and everytime i am happy about something someone fucks it up for me. so drugs have been my escape for the past two years. i almost became addicted to pills, but after i ended up in the hospital i stopped that. now im just fucking depressed. ur right though, i got to get my ass out there and live. its hard though, some days i wake up and wish i was dead, other days i dont. all days i wish i was fucked up so i can get through the day.

[pandora1305]

let your head have a rest, no way you can be happy without your body doing what it does naturally

drugs are like gravy, they're not the meal, don't let them be central to your existance

there is so much more out there to do and you're already making the first effort by see that too many downers are not good for you

let your self get to sober and bite the bullet to stay that way for a while until your brain/body chemistry can repair itself

help it along by eating well, hitting the gym, run in the sun, find a pretty girl and see what you can do to make her smile and she'll pobably end up making you smile too

[Teknojunkee]

Im def. feeling you guys. I have a BIG K Problem. It used to just be at Factory, then when i went to LI Clubs, then the movies, now to go to bed! I dunno...i feel like i can stop but i dont want to try. Its at the point now where i buy in bulk so i wont have to look for it for a while.

Im slowing myself down with the clubs, cause, to me, thats the main source of my problem, thats where it started. I dont care what anyone says, if you have an additive personality clubs are not for you. Too much stuff floating around to keep turning down. I dont have great will-power.

Good luck to you Tony, there def. are alot of us with the same problem, so talk it out if you need too.

[trajik]

Good luck with that K thing.. the only reason I stopped for so long is the supply in TX is non-existant. It's GONE. I went insane for like 3 or 4 months looking for it before I decided to give up.

I did finally get my hands on some and it made me wonder why the fuck I was stressin so hard over it. It wasn't what I remembered.

I still like the shit, but it's definitely just the gravy now. I've got substance to my life now and I like looking forward to doing drugs sometimes instead of relying on them to be happy.

And Tony:

"Make it a great day or not. The choice is yours." - My high school principal

[shroomy]

Originally posted by clubbhoppintg

I have a BIG K Problem.

I dont care what anyone says, if you have an additive personality clubs are not for you.

If you have an adictive personality K is not for you either. Holy crap can that stuff call to you.

and Tony, don't fuck around. Get some help and stay the fuck away from druggies like us You'll think your good if you just dont pop an oxy every 10 minutes.

Im not saying to check in to betty fords or anything, but maybe check out a few web sites, or talk to someone at a university etc...

[t0nythelover]

fuck, its soo hard. i live with my gf and shes been an addict for about 10 yrs so its hard to stay away from drugs cuz im always around her. i often tell myself i can quit anytime but its not ez. what really bothered me was the fact that ive been poppin pills to go to sleep. but you guys are right, im gonna go hit up the gym and try to eat more, problem is i dont have an appetite. everytime i eat i feel like im gonna puke unless i smoke right b4 or after. thanx for all the support guys, i really appreciate it. fucked up thing is that i was really never into drugs, but its ez to become a co-dependent. im hoping school will give me a routine to keep my mind off drugs and keep me clean. thanx again guys.

[zeeker]

just try to keep active. I went a little crazy with the substances this summer and I'm just so happy that school is staring and soccer season is here. My weekend habits have come to a standstill. At first it sucked, but now I'm in my old routine and have gotten used to feeling good and healthy again. No appetite loss, no lying awake for hours at night, no sleeping late as hell etc...Once you cut back and start to feel the difference physically, you'll start to feel it emotionally too. Good luck

[t0nythelover]

i just smoked so im feelin a bit better now, but i really would like to talk to a professional. do any of you know of like free drug counseling or narcotics anonymous?

[romy20]

Wow, I thought I was alone.

Mine is a shorter time than your's, but for about 4 months now, I have been dependant, on downers also, oxy and percs. although its been 2 days since i did some oxy, but today i took about 12 percocets.

Its like I have to take em just to feel normal and happy.

And the thing is, that i just woke up one day and realized that I NEEDED it, if not I'd start goin thru the withdrawals, which are the worst thing in the world, cause you just feel like dying.

Ive never been fully happy with my life, and the wierd part is, that I have everything, so there's no reason for me to be unhappy, which I am.

I have a bf for over 3 years now who I care about and who cares about me, I have parents who love me, and have given me everything plus more, I have a job so im making some money, and I live with my parents so I dont have bills to pay really.

But even with that, I feel like im a loser and my life is horrible.

In the beginning, I just did it cause i was bored etc, but then it became a habit, and now im scared cause i dont know if can stop.

I did stop for a litlte while, but then started with the percs again.

So ur not alone, and im glad im not. Hopefully one day ill just be able to be happy without the drugs, but I dont know when that day will come =(

I wish you alotta luck, and if you need to talk or anything, pm me or im me =)

btw, I too have thought many times to go and talk to someone, but never really got around to it, but hopefully Ill go soon.

-romina

[romy20]

Wow, I thought I was alone.

Mine is a shorter time than your's, but for about 4 months now, I have been dependant, on downers also, oxy and percs. although its been 2 days since i did some oxy, but today i took about 12 percocets.

Its like I have to take em just to feel normal and happy.

And the thing is, that i just woke up one day and realized that I NEEDED it, if not I'd start goin thru the withdrawals, which are the worst thing in the world, cause you just feel like dying.

Ive never been fully happy with my life, and the wierd part is, that I have everything, so there's no reason for me to be unhappy, which I am.

I have a bf for over 3 years now who I care about and who cares about me, I have parents who love me, and have given me everything plus more, I have a job so im making some money, and I live with my parents so I dont have bills to pay really.

But even with that, I feel like im a loser and my life is horrible.

In the beginning, I just did it cause i was bored etc, but then it became a habit, and now im scared cause i dont know if can stop.

I did stop for a litlte while, but then started with the percs again.

So ur not alone, and im glad im not. Hopefully one day ill just be able to be happy without the drugs, but I dont know when that day will come =(

I wish you alotta luck, and if you need to talk or anything, pm me or im me =)

btw, I too have thought many times to go and talk to someone, but never really got around to it, but hopefully Ill go soon.

-romina

[fkornre]

i am with you guys. i too am at the point where every thurs - sun i am all k'd up. i usually run out by sun nite or else i would continue through the week. i bring it everywhere i go; movie, clubs, mall, atlantic city to gamble; where ever. when i go out to clubs or raves i have to do e. i try not to do k with e while i am out cause i always do to much and they cancel each other out on me. but i always wind up doing at least 10 pills while i am out not matter how long i am out for; 3 ours or 12. i find that i cannot have fun without drugs. no matter what i am doing i need them. i was a "late bloomer" when it came to the drug scene. i did nothing in high school or college other than alittle drinking. i found drugs in 98 and have been strong with them since. i was REAL addicted to coke and e for 98-2000 but have slowed a bit from that. now its just k atleast 3-4 days a week and e when i go out. i too understand what you are going through and hope it works out for you someday. till then i will be here

[Crackorn]

You guys are all incredibly brave for discussing this in a public forum and I give you a lot of credit. Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery (I know I sound like an AA counselor) and trust me there are TONS of people at CP and all the other message boards with the same problems. When it comes to the topic of depression, you have to ask yourself- am I unhappy with life and doing drugs to escape OR have I been doing drugs and the result is depression? One way I handle the 'terrible Tuesdays' is to tell myself that I'm only depressed because I overdid it the past weekend and everything will be fine in a day or two. It really does help. I wish you all the best of luck and if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask.

crackorn

[harddtime]

Originally posted by t0nythelover

im addicted to downers. my life has become a crazy cycle of trying to get fucked up and pass out just to pass time away because i hate my fucking life. whenever im sober i get depressed or angry or feel lots of anxiety. fuck, i dont know what to do anymore, but for now ill be happy with admitting i have a problem.

you might be self medicating yourself, my psychiatrist says i'm doing it with G. She wants to put me on her medications but it kinda seems pointless going on her medication since it has more sideeffects then G when done correctly. Downers are no good for the body though, def go see someone, and you should prob bring your GF too.

[sweetie029]

1st of all....I think it takes a lot of balls to admit you have an addiction problem...b/c most people don't think it's an addiction....my BF used to be a BIIIIG K head & he stopped cold turkey.....he avoids going out all together even the store if he has to...but this is his way of dealing spending all his time with his family & me & a few friends on occasion...now in the past 2 months he did K maybe 3 times & I was real dissapointed in him b/c I never realized before meeting him how much that shit fucks with you mentally AFTER you get off of it...granted he does it once in a while he never went back to being the way he used to....but IMO the only way he will completely recover is by NOT DOING IT AT ALL so in my eyes he's still addicted....so my advice stop taking everything!!! don't take downers or any other kind of pill & if you can...chill with the weed for a little while too << I know that sounds rediculous but you have to start motivationg yourself to function with reality without drugs period...& while your at it encourage your GF to quit with you...so the both of you can support & help each other Good Luck to you!!

[clubprincess24]

So what happens if your addiction has become a part of your personality? It sounds crazy but my best friends using has kept her looking very young, beautiful, and vibrant, she is 25 and constantly mistaken for 15. She has been scouted by LA models twice, been on several mainstream productions, had opportunities you wouldn't believe, but the anxiety that comes with using even just once a week has caused her to back away from those opportunities, to where she is extremely self concious and afraid of social situations, public speaking, cameras, success. She hasn't even been able to hold a regular job, she says it's because of sexist people, and she has been in situations where she was harassed by both males and females. Yet she can't stop, the longest she has gone without is a week, she has changed surroundings many times throughout the last 6 years, nothing works. Her family has no idea, she is a mother and model student. Her night life is another world; high class clubs, money, drugs. How does one get out of that vicious cycle? Anyone have any suggestions on how to help her?

[zz6]

go to a narcotics anonymous meeting, keep going, if you want to quit thats a proven way to stop. your will power by yourself will not be alone, if you are truly addicted. if you think you don't have the time to go to NA meetings, or :it won't work for me", then you don't want to stop. excuses won't help you stop. trying alone, wont help you stop. s

take the time and the energy to stop, the same time and energy you used when you were trying to cop. go to meetings "it works"

[trajik]

I went to NA meetings once a week for like two months to quit smoking weed two something years ago. I don't smoke weed now, and I was smoking 3-4 times a day for the three years prior.

"it works"