jimk29 Posted September 9 Report Share Posted September 9 So I am heading back to Boston to return the engagement ring that I bought for my girl. I can't bear the sight of it anymore. Whenever I look at it I get these horrible feelings running through my body of when she wouldn't take it. When is the last time that any of you have had your heart ripped out of your chest and destroyed? Do you find it harder to put yourself out there and open yourself up after being hurt so badly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted September 9 Report Share Posted September 9 Sorry to hear that hon. I personally have been hurt a million and one times, but only truly devastated once. I'm pretty pessimistic by nature, I never really lay it all on the line. Maybe one of these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimk29 Posted September 9 Author Report Share Posted September 9 Originally posted by tastyt Sorry to hear that hon. I personally have been hurt a million and one times, but only truly devastated once. I'm pretty pessimistic by nature, I never really lay it all on the line. Maybe one of these days. Don't do it, let me tell you what happens when you lay it all on the line and follow your heart... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gothzane Posted September 9 Report Share Posted September 9 I always say Ill never love again...but I always do...sooner then I want to. shoot me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted September 9 Report Share Posted September 9 Originally posted by jimk29 Don't do it, let me tell you what happens when you lay it all on the line and follow your heart... I'm inclined to agree with you, but at Beavis here said, I am a sucker and it tends to sneak up on me and the next thing ya know... I'm kicking myself in the ass... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gothzane Posted September 9 Report Share Posted September 9 *looks down at his heart*Where the fuck is the OFF button on this thing?Originally posted by tastyt I'm inclined to agree with you, but at Beavis here said, I am a sucker and it tends to sneak up on me and the next thing ya know... I'm kicking myself in the ass... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gothzane Posted September 9 Report Share Posted September 9 I mean...I know where the misery button is...the butterflies button...I know how to operate the "honk if your horny" function, the "choclate overdose" transfuctioner....but where is the damn off switch?Originally posted by gothzane *looks down at his heart*Where the fuck is the OFF button on this thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimk29 Posted September 9 Author Report Share Posted September 9 The problem here is that I am still with my girl, I do love her, but after what happened in Paris I am having a hard time being as tolerant as I once was. It seems that everything drives me nuts lately. I am afraid that by putting it all out there and offering my heart I may have ruined things. I don't think that they can go back to how they were, but at the same time I can't imagine being without her... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted September 9 Report Share Posted September 9 Originally posted by jimk29 The problem here is that I am still with my girl, I do love her, but after what happened in Paris I am having a hard time being as tolerant as I once was. It seems that everything drives me nuts lately. I am afraid that by putting it all out there and offering my heart I may have ruined things. I don't think that they can go back to how they were, but at the same time I can't imagine being without her... i cant speak for ur relationship cuz obviously i dont know either one of u and im not in ur shoes... but u 2 obviously love each other a great deal... sure what happened might have been bad.... but look at it this way: u still have each other!! be grateful for that. some people lose it all at once and have no chance of gettin it back. think about what would have been if that had happened to u. u still have her. she still loves u. right? so take it one day... one step at a time. things will get better. and at least u can do it together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimk29 Posted September 9 Author Report Share Posted September 9 Originally posted by linabina i cant speak for ur relationship cuz obviously i dont know either one of u and im not in ur shoes... but u 2 obviously love each other a great deal... sure what happened might have been bad.... but look at it this way: u still have each other!! be grateful for that. some people lose it all at once and have no chance of gettin it back. think about what would have been if that had happened to u. u still have her. she still loves u. right? so take it one day... one step at a time. things will get better. and at least u can do it together. always putting a positive spin on things... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted September 9 Report Share Posted September 9 Love is like gambling. You put it all on the line, and hope for the best. But if you're dealt a bad hand, or at the wrong time, things will not turn out right.I still believe in love. To me, it's the most powerful force on earth. I have been hurt in the past too, so now im very careful as to what i lay out. But if you take it slow and easy, and learn the time-scale of the other partner, i think things can work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted September 9 Report Share Posted September 9 Originally posted by jimk29 The problem here is that I am still with my girl, I do love her, but after what happened in Paris I am having a hard time being as tolerant as I once was. It seems that everything drives me nuts lately. I am afraid that by putting it all out there and offering my heart I may have ruined things. I don't think that they can go back to how they were, but at the same time I can't imagine being without her... You know what? It sucks that she isn't ready to make the commitment that you want, but you should be proud of yourself for being able to take a chance like that. People are just too damn afraid of taking risks and getting hurt. At least you won't be left wondering "what if". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted September 9 Report Share Posted September 9 Originally posted by tastyt You know what? It sucks that she isn't ready to make the commitment that you want, but you should be proud of yourself for being able to take a chance like that. People are just too damn afraid of taking risks and getting hurt. At least you won't be left wondering "what if". Good point, tarty D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted September 9 Report Share Posted September 9 Originally posted by gmccookny Good point, tarty D Tarty D? LMAO! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njdionysus Posted September 10 Report Share Posted September 10 Originally posted by jimk29 When is the last time that any of you have had your heart ripped out of your chest and destroyed? Do you find it harder to put yourself out there and open yourself up after being hurt so badly? I can understand the heartache, although I think we've all been there at one time or another, some of us worse than others. When I got engaged, my sister in Florida (a jeweler) helped me design the engagement ring. When I gave my girl the ring, she practically raped me for it right there in the restaurant (what can I say, I have good taste, lol). About a month after I gave my girl the ring, my sister passed away from a sudden fatal illness. Several months later, we were married and honeymooning in Italy. Everything was great, that is until we got home and reality set in for her. She was way too immature to handle responsibility among other things. She was daddy's girl her whole life and now daddy wasn't around everyday. After 6 weeks of her games, I left and never turned my back. I was so devasted that I got 2 tickets driving back home to Jersey... I actually passed a cop going 80 and didnt even know it. When she pulled me over, my car was full of stuff from the house. I gave her the 2 second version of my story, but she had no mercy. She gave me a ticket for 74 in a 55, Virginia bitch! Now here's my thing, after I gave my girl the ring and my sister had passed, her family was honored that their daughter wear something that meant so much to my family. I remember her mother saying, god forbid if anything happens to you two, you will be giving him the ring back. She laughed at her mother and said, he isnt going anywhere. Now I never expected it back, nor did I get it back. What I did expect back, was the 1ct. (perfect cut) diamond earrings that I gave her as a wedding gift (they were my sisters too and I wanted my wife to have them in memory of my sister). No marriage, no gift. The fucking %$*@!+=!$# never returned those either. Its all good, the marriage was anulled on the morning of 9/11.Moral of the story... never give up more of yourself than you can afford to lose (I'm talking emotionally, not monetarily, I could care less about the monetary value). To this day, I have always tried to think that it wouldnt chance me, but now I am very careful who I trust. Maybe too careful! I feel for ya bro, especially that she said no and you two are still together... that must be very odd! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted September 10 Report Share Posted September 10 it always breaks my heart when i hear people say that they'll never put themselves out there again. that's just setting themselves up to lose out on so much.i have a friend who always went for the wrong guys - usually ones who were emotionally unavailable, and she often just slept with guys to make herself feel wanted (she admitted it, too.). but she once got in a longstanding relationship with a guy who already had a girlfriend. this, of course, could go nowhere but horribly for her, and, of course, there was no getting through to her beforehand.it turned out that the guy's gf was pregnant, and the guy then gave her the whole, "i really love you, not her, but she's pregnant and now i have to move in with her and marry her," bit. my friend bought it, and he came out smelling like a rose. "it's not his fault," my friend said, "he'd choose me if the bitch weren't pregnant."now my friend made the mistake of repeatedly having unprotected sex (!!!!!!) with this LOSER, and what should happen, of course, but she got pregnant. then, of course, he left altogether to be with the other gf full-time. and my friend said, in the end, blaming herself, "it's my fault, for falling in love. i'll never fall in love again." wtf??????? and i'm sure you all can gather from this story that the problems were many other things, (believing lies, going out with someone who already had a gf, having unprotected sex...) not that she fell in love or that she shouldn't again.she's now in a committed relationship that's lasted 9 months and is blissfully in love, on the pill, and doesn't remember exactly saying that she never wanted to fall in love again. i'm glad . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdancer Posted September 10 Report Share Posted September 10 WOW! The last two stories really blowed my mind... How awful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimk29 Posted September 10 Author Report Share Posted September 10 Originally posted by tastyt You know what? It sucks that she isn't ready to make the commitment that you want, but you should be proud of yourself for being able to take a chance like that. People are just too damn afraid of taking risks and getting hurt. At least you won't be left wondering "what if". and there is nothing worse in life than a "what if"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted September 10 Report Share Posted September 10 Originally posted by jimk29 always putting a positive spin on things... oh but of course i do believe thats what im here for Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaredgirl Posted September 11 Report Share Posted September 11 it was in 2000 at the end of summer i broke up with This guyi was with him 2 years but the strange thing is that it didn't hurt me as i thought it would hurt a long relationship like that , yes i cried but i decide not to be depress like i always did in the past so i start to make lots of exercise 3 hour a day and alsoi was clubbing a lot.. then it happends i was there dancing and suddenly something hit my self and stop me in the middle of the dance floor thinking i didn't have such a fun in two years then i realize that relationship was not good because i wasn't who i really iam ...everything start to hit me so fast in the dance floor when i realize i didn't dance in two years , that i was only happy the first 4 months of that relashionship i was crying every single day and night beacuse of several reasons anyway after that experience i decide to be stronger and i also decide that would be the last time i would let anybody make me suffer like that .......i have to addmit i learn to beaing single because i start to hang out with good friends plus let me say there is nothing like to go parting with friends and dance like crazy flirt with a hottie guy and know all the looks are on u wohooo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimk29 Posted September 11 Author Report Share Posted September 11 Originally posted by linabina i cant speak for ur relationship cuz obviously i dont know either one of u and im not in ur shoes... but u 2 obviously love each other a great deal... sure what happened might have been bad.... but look at it this way: u still have each other!! be grateful for that. some people lose it all at once and have no chance of gettin it back. think about what would have been if that had happened to u. u still have her. she still loves u. right? so take it one day... one step at a time. things will get better. and at least u can do it together. Lina,I must thank you; these past couple of days I have actually made an effort to look at things this way, that I should be happy to be with someone that I feel so strongly about. I have to say, these past 2 days have been amazing. Just the feeling that I get when I kiss her seems more intense, I really feel that what we have is special and no matter how much I was hurt, she didn't want to hurt me. She just wasn't ready for what I am ready for and I can't be mad at her for that. Everyone comes around when they are ready and rushing her into it wouldn't be good for either of us. There is no way that I can let this interfere with the love that I have for this girl, she is my life, she is my pleasure, she is my passion. Everything in my life has been better since she entered it and this is what I have to remember.Thanks Hon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted September 11 Report Share Posted September 11 Originally posted by jimk29 Lina,I must thank you; these past couple of days I have actually made an effort to look at things this way, that I should be happy to be with someone that I feel so strongly about. I have to say, these past 2 days have been amazing. Just the feeling that I get when I kiss her seems more intense, I really feel that what we have is special and no matter how much I was hurt, she didn't want to hurt me. She just wasn't ready for what I am ready for and I can't be mad at her for that. Everyone comes around when they are ready and rushing her into it wouldn't be good for either of us. There is no way that I can let this interfere with the love that I have for this girl, she is my life, she is my pleasure, she is my passion. Everything in my life has been better since she entered it and this is what I have to remember.Thanks Hon ur so welcome. im mainly a very optimistic person.... it helps me get by when times are a lil shitty.... everyone has their own times when they feel majorly depressed about things, but thats life... so when i see a situation from a different standpoint, i try to shed a different light.... and im happy that it has helped u... wow... i really feel good about that.. hehe good luck with everything! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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