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She hurts me :(

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sweetheart... just be urself.... go watch tv with her if thats what u want to do!! dont try to make a move on her a)without her knowing that u feel this way about her... if she has no clue and u go to make a move... she could be caught off guard.. best bet is maybe to just be honest about how u feel and B) without fully thinking about what would happen if by chance shes not really interested in u that way.... u could damage the friendship if she gets bugged out by the fact that u want something more... u know?

bottom line... ull never know till u try... so if its really that worth it to u to see if it could be something more, then go for it.

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if a woman is hesitant from the beginning, chances are its because she really has no intentions of being with u romantically. not to burst ur bubble but i am a woman so i tend to know how they think sometimes.... and from experience... she may be giving u the watery eyes and silence... b/c she doesnt have anything else to say ... and whatever it is that she CAN say might just hurt ur feelings... so she says nothing. and therefore gets a lil emotional b/c she does care for u... and doesnt want to hurt u...

i havea friend of mine that has been in love with me for 6 years. and not one day during those 6 years did i ever consider being with him romantically. he knows this. yet persistenly tries to convince me that hes good for me and yada yada... but i know in MY heart... that my feelings will never change... if i dont have an initial attraction to u from the very beginning... not even having to right away rule something out or think about "hmmm id love to be with this guy"... but if i dont have an initial physical attraction combined with an emotional attraction in an intimate way, nothing will ever change my mind. but thats just me

i can say that women are stubborn in that aspect of things... they dont like to be forced to believe that theyll feel a way that they know they never will... its just how we are by nature... women know what they want... and if it wasnt u from the getgo.. then chances are u should probably just appreciate the friendship u DO have with her before u lose it all by trying to make it something its not gonna be.

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Originally posted by jonyquest

ithat she one day might grow to love me

~~that is not good.......that is really not the love u want when someone is with u b/c they are used to u.......the good love is when both ppl love passionately:shades2:

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Originally posted by jonyquest

dammmmm.... shit!!!!!

I would love to stay as friends but it would break my heart to find out she found a guy and she likes him

"if u truly love someone... set them free... if they come back.. theyre yours... if they dont, they never were. "

"u know u truly love someone, when all u want is for them to be happy... even when u know their happiness is not with u"

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It sucks, dude, but the girls are right. I've been where you are, and there's just no changing a woman's mind when she believes in something. Everyone's going to tell you that you'll find the person right for you, but it might not happen when you're 22, or even 24 or 25. I've got friends who're 32/34 and still trying so hard, guess I got lucky at 28 to find a person who feels the same way that I do.

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dude, let her decide: either you 100% or you NOT AT ALL!

and if she should decide against you, hit the road and never look back. i can´t imagine constantly HOLDING BACK your desire for her and restricting yourself does good to both your psyche and your life.

we men get our primary emotional payoff from sex and a secondary payoff from companionship. we need sex to validate us and allow us to experience loving feelings. women are wired in the opposite fashion. they need loving feelings to validate them and allow them to experience sex. neither way, by itself is good, and both can be degrading, exploitative and dehumanizing.

guy: i might fall in love with you if you fuck me.

girl: i might suck you if you tell me you love me.

HAHAHA :)

IMO, the reason the guys turn off and give women the cold shoulder is because women are negating their humanity. they eventually realize that they're just objects with a personality to be exploited for entertainment purposes, and they, rightfully, get a bit miffed about it. they're putting out and meeting women´s emotional needs without getting the emotional payoff that's meaningful to them.

it´s soooo funny to hear women constantly complaining about getting played. they´re playing A LOT MORE MEN for their PERSONALITIES!!

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Originally posted by tastey

dude, let her decide: either you 100% or you NOT AT ALL!

and if she should decide against you, hit the road and never look back. i can´t imagine constantly HOLDING BACK your desire for her and restricting yourself does good to both your psyche and your life.

we men get our primary emotional payoff from sex and a secondary payoff from companionship. we need sex to validate us and allow us to experience loving feelings. women are wired in the opposite fashion. they need loving feelings to validate them and allow them to experience sex. neither way, by itself is good, and both can be degrading, exploitative and dehumanizing.

guy: i might fall in love with you if you fuck me.

girl: i might suck you if you tell me you love me.

HAHAHA :)

IMO, the reason the guys turn off and give women the cold shoulder is because women are negating their humanity. they eventually realize that they're just objects with a personality to be exploited for entertainment purposes, and they, rightfully, get a bit miffed about it. they're putting out and meeting women´s emotional needs without getting the emotional payoff that's meaningful to them.

it´s soooo funny to hear women constantly complaining about getting played. they´re playing A LOT MORE MEN for their PERSONALITIES!!

tastey, i actually agree with you....does this mean the end of the world is coming soon? :confused:

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Originally posted by jonyquest

ok... i will walk away than.....

i agree.

Im doing that myself right now. Don't hold out for her, but also realize that she's missing out by missing your company.

She can't have her cake and eat it too ;)

Shout out for Mr. Tastey :cool:

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Originally posted by sexxyh

~~that is not good.......that is really not the love u want when someone is with u b/c they are used to u.......the good love is when both ppl love passionately:shades2:

Soooo true. You don't want her love if she isn't 100% in love with you. It would suck if she did go with you just because she didn't want to hurt your feelings. I have been in this same situation, I loved this girl, but she "didn't want to ruin friendship" and after awhile the torture of seeing her going out with other guys kills you, just let her go as hard as it is.

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Originally posted by scaredgirl

roses to godivas ??? men where are u from ??? forget her im all urs heheheh just joking but u are a gentleman !!!!!!

yeah he is, yet he should rather be a gentleman to someone who deserves and appreciates it. not to some stuck up game playing biaaatch that´s dangling SEX SEX SEX in front of his nose to keep him around yet doesn´t intend to EVER give it to him :)

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Originally posted by linabina

sweetheart... just be urself.... go watch tv with her if thats what u want to do!! dont try to make a move on her a)without her knowing that u feel this way about her... if she has no clue and u go to make a move... she could be caught off guard.. best bet is maybe to just be honest about how u feel and B) without fully thinking about what would happen if by chance shes not really interested in u that way.... u could damage the friendship if she gets bugged out by the fact that u want something more... u know?

bottom line... ull never know till u try... so if its really that worth it to u to see if it could be something more, then go for it.

Great advice.........................

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Originally posted by tastey

yeah he is, yet he should rather be a gentleman to someone who deserves and appreciates it. not to some stuck up game playing biaaatch that´s dangling SEX SEX SEX in front of his nose to keep him around yet doesn´t intend to EVER give it to him :)

. . . correct . . .

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Originally posted by jonyquest

As for your friendship, I see_it as false -_ because what I've_read this morning gives me the impression that you have_done_everything and said everything with strings attached, not out of pure friendship.

actually, she´s right.

but i BET that was a MUTUAL miscommunication. i bet *she* did not make clear that there would NEVER be anything sexual between you two from the beginning and *you* did not make clear that you wanted anything sexual from her from the beginning.

to the ladies:

NO GUY (at least 99.999% of em) wants to be your friend. we ALL want to fuck you. if that were not the case, would you not see FAT, UGLY chicks with great personalities surrounded by guys in bars? believe me... EVERY GUY wants to fuck EVERY FINE CHICK he encounters.

a "friendship" allows him to work his way into her slowly and establish some sort of foothold before going for the FUCK. take away that possibility, and the "friendship" disappears because it never existed in the first place. have an attractive girlfriend of yours try this sometime. exchange herself in a "friendly" situation for some UG. see what happens. if the guy hangs out with the UG AT ALL, it is beacuse he is trying to score points with the HB. otherwise, he will not spend time with a friendly UG.

if you can't figure out a REASON why the two of you are friends... you're NOT!

women go into friendships because they want FRIENDS. in A LOT of cases men go into friendships because they want PUSSY and are afraid to ask for it. they always WANT it and never GET it... TENSION! women DON'T want it so they are FINE with being friends with some SAP and telling him about the REAL MEN they fucked during the time they were going out with their FRIENDS! HAHAHAHA! :)

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Originally posted by tastey

actually, she´s right.

but i BET that was a MUTUAL miscommunication. i bet *she* did not make clear that there would NEVER be anything sexual between you two from the beginning and *you* did not make clear that you wanted anything sexual from her from the beginning.

to the ladies:

NO GUY (at least 99.999% of em) wants to be your friend. we ALL want to fuck you. if that were not the case, would you not see FAT, UGLY chicks with great personalities surrounded by guys in bars? believe me... EVERY GUY wants to fuck EVERY FINE CHICK he encounters.

a "friendship" allows him to work his way into her slowly and establish some sort of foothold before going for the FUCK. take away that possibility, and the "friendship" disappears because it never existed in the first place. have an attractive girlfriend of yours try this sometime. exchange herself in a "friendly" situation for some UG. see what happens. if the guy hangs out with the UG AT ALL, it is beacuse he is trying to score points with the HB. otherwise, he will not spend time with a friendly UG.

if you can't figure out a REASON why the two of you are friends... you're NOT!

women go into friendships because they want FRIENDS. in A LOT of cases men go into friendships because they want PUSSY and are afraid to ask for it. they always WANT it and never GET it... TENSION! women DON'T want it so they are FINE with being friends with some SAP and telling him about the REAL MEN they fucked during the time they were going out with their FRIENDS! HAHAHAHA! :)

. . . again, correct . . .

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Originally posted by jonyquest

i'm at work right now and i'm ok about it... she is right and i will respect that she does not want to talk to me...... i had been told be my family that me and her will never hook up... they were right..... my best friend told me to keep trying and i have never quit anything... well i stop smoking cigaretss sicne she does not like that and i will not go back to it ..... i still like her and i still want her... i will move on and wait.... maybe nice guys will win this time right????????:(

LEARN from this experience for the NEXT GIRL! don´t waste any more time on this one, you´ve lost her for good.

and next time, make your interest known from the BEGINNING! then you don´t have to WASTE time, energy and money for something that you will never get ANYWAY. of course you can get to know her, yet you HAVE to let her know where you´re coming from and *WHY* you´re talking to her. you´re seeing her as a potential mate and want to get to know her better to see if she is somebody you would want to invest your time in and share your passions with, get it? a good line is for example: "i don't know if we will be great friends, or passionate lovers yet, things have to go the natural way"

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Originally posted by jonyquest

It would hurt to find out she got intimate with another guy.... well, i dont' have to worry about any of this anyways... she walked out.... BUt i really did not want sex and i told her what i wanted... i wanted to hug her and kiss her and i wanted her to do the same for me.... i want to wait till i get married... she knows that... she does not even want to kiss me...... am i that disgusting to her???

. . . listen, I've been reading your posts and I'm willing to put this out there as a solution: Become an asshole . . . You're a nice guy at heart, I can read that from what you've said, but being that nice guy you have to ACCEPT . . I mean really really accept the fact that women are going to view you as a 'friend' eternally unless you change your basic outlook towards them . . .

. . . See, Tastey up there, as odious as part of me wants to label him, is actually correct in the way male-female interaction works . . . Its a dirty little truth that neither side really ever wants to admit to playing towards . . . Chicks WILL go after the asshole in a hopeless situation, why? . . cause the asshole is confident in his sense of 'self' . . He don't give a shit if you (as the chick) walk out the door and never come back . . His instant response is 'eh, there's a million fish in the sea' . . you, on the other hand, being the friend will ruminate over a hopeless situation all while she feeds you more and more insight (alot of times twisted, irrational, and dirty) into the female mind . . . She KNOWS that she can call you up at 10 on a weeknight about some shit that the guy who fucked the hell out of her did a couple nights before . . .

. . If you want to change that from happening you've gotta grow the balls to say to her, when she undoubtedly gives you that phone call, these simple words: 'darlin, I haven't got time for the pain . . " . . . Then stop . . . nothing more . . . If she decides that she's gotta start viewing you as a MAN and not a GIRL then things might progress. . . If not, both of you are better off not interacting with each other . .

. . Yours does sound like an interesting case . . You're head over heels for this chick . .and that's understandable . . I've had fembot friends that I've pined over in the past and never had the chance to get with because I was on that track . . . I can tell you though, its better that you move on with your life, cause there aint anything that's gonna get you close to this girl short of a complete life changing experience for the both of you . . .

. . eh. . I could be wrong . . .

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Originally posted by jonyquest

It would hurt to find out she got intimate with another guy.... well, i dont' have to worry about any of this anyways... she walked out.... BUt i really did not want sex and i told her what i wanted... i wanted to hug her and kiss her and i wanted her to do the same for me.... i want to wait till i get married... she knows that... she does not even want to kiss me...... am i that disgusting to her???

i think i'm ok looking here look yourself

dude, in the end, it comes down to a numbers game. some will like you, some will hate you and some will not care. that´s just the way it is. keep to the ones that like you too, where it´s MUTUAL. i BET if you take your eyes off that girl for one week you will become aware of how many other, BETTER opportunities there are for you that you simply did not SEE cause you were so concentrated on that one girl. take your focus OFF her and WIDEN it :)

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Originally posted by jonyquest

My biggest fear was that one day she would tell me she found a dude and she hooked up with him... and ofcourse she would use her "i told you we were just friends and you were the one that would not stop" card... know what i mean?

I'm glad this is settle... i will stop been the nice guy.... some girls never get out of the asshole stage...... that is for soem reason what they want.. a really good looking asshole that will make them feel liek shit and use them and abuse them..... why??????? ya say we just want the piece of ass but what do ya woman want??? you don't want a guy that works 2 jobs, and lives on his own and does not need mom or dad to help them.. and he goes to school and he cleans and he does his laundry and cooks......... why do you want the asshole that all he wants to do is [email protected]#$ and play with you feelings and treat you like crap... somebody please tell me the answer to this question!!!!!!!!!!!:mad:

Its a girl's insecurity hard to understand why girls are like that (I can see for the challenge but when they r being treated like dirt it doesnt make sense), Dont be a jerk and keep on doing whatever your doing. When your not looking your Mate will fall right into your lap......... I swear........... it will happen..............

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Originally posted by jonyquest

I'm glad this is settle... i will stop been the nice guy.... some girls never get out of the asshole stage...... that is for soem reason what they want.. a really good looking asshole that will make them feel liek shit and use them and abuse them..... why??????? ya say we just want the piece of ass but what do ya woman want??? you don't want a guy that works 2 jobs, and lives on his own and does not need mom or dad to help them.. and he goes to school and he cleans and he does his laundry and cooks......... why do you want the asshole that all he wants to do is [email protected]#$ and play with you feelings and treat you like crap... somebody please tell me the answer to this question!!!!!!!!!!!:mad:

nice guys make good husbands. when you run your game like it is now on women in the 30+ range you WILL have success.

bad guys are good for adventure, when the women are young. here´s a hint: women LOVE bad guys that turn nice OCCASIONALLY. it´s like they´ve seen BOTH of you and want to get more of that good side of you, which is a challenge for them, which is rewarding for them, which is FUN and attractive to them.

also, you can play the card asshole that is nice most of time, but ONLY to her. she thinks that she is bringing out the good in you, and if there is one thing women want, it is to feel NEEDED :)!

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Originally posted by tastey

btw: it is ONLY attractive if a bad guy turns nice, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!! (nice guy -> asshole)

. . . also true, for the most part . . Although, the second scenario (nice -> asshole) can work. . . you gotta be willing to plumb the dark depths of human psychology to do it . . but it IS possible . . .

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