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SPYGIRL3

Ex's, broken hearts, & new starts

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i've done the recycling of boyfriends thing and i don't really think it's a great idea... i was with one guy on and off for 2 years and we'd always part ways over same issues... and eventually i got to the point where i stopped thinking that things could change and get better... you break up with a person for a reason and i think it's better to leave things in the past and move on to new people and experiences...

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It really depends on the situation you've got, how it ended, and if the feelings are still there amongst the 2 of you.

You might have heard of my on-again-off-again fling with smurfette. Well we are back together (took a 6-month break and a 1 month), and even though we're taking it slow, we both feel strongly for each other, and think this might amount to something grand.

You really have to sit down and analyze the relationship, and decide if you're willing to go through it all over again. And make sure that the other person is willing to do the same :)

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Originally posted by SPYGIRL2

Should an ex stay an ex or do you think it's possible to have new start?

Move on, you cant teach an old dog new tricks. In other words, understand that you cannot change someone. You have to accept them for who they are and if you can overlook your differences from the past, then and only then should you even think about it. I've gone back several times, but its never worked out for the best. Its like holding on to old memories, they are what they are, memories.

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Originally posted by SPYGIRL2

Should an ex stay an ex or do you think it's possible to have new start?

STAY AN EX. Breaking up is probably the last resort and if this happens something horrible must have happen to justify this. There is no point in getting back together cause it will just happen again....

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Originally posted by SPYGIRL2

Should an ex stay an ex or do you think it's possible to have new start?

you ever owned an expensive vase??? and at one point it fell and broke??? than you came to a fork in the road... the fork is either toss the pieces and save up to buy a new vase or glue this one back together... option one is buying a new isnt as good as the first one, and the one you really want isnt ever in the store... or option b, you chose to glue it back together... now youre done glueing it back together and you find that theres lil hair line cracks through out the vase, and in some places lil pieces missing... the cracks are all the arguments, the missing pieces are moments in time lost, (either from not speaking to each other, time that past, etc) however now if you try to put substance in the vase (i.e trust/love etc) the vase doesnt hold it... and its purpose is lost... and now its better on shelf to be looked at then used... (meaning it might be better to just leave the good memories on the shelf, then trying to keep filling up the vase and cleaning up the mess)

However depending on the relationship that analogy/metaphor has no meaning... sometimes theres this one person in our lives that touched us... not just in a physical way however touched us like no other individual ever did or will... be it by wisdom, spoken words, actions, lil nuances, romances, just even simple smile or even a reassuring comforting glance... a person who you loved for their faults, for the lil things that made them them... a sweet surrender if you will... and for some reason the relationship didnt work out at that point in time... as if it was the perfect thing at the wrong time... just because of lil differences at that point in time effected the relationship... maybe too young, maybe too old, maybe you werent mature enough or too mature, or maybe the friends didnt like you etc... and you needed the time apart to live out your own lives in order to form a life together... maybe now after all this time apart youve ripened and are ready to be picked... maybe this time around is the right time... who knows... the only way to find out is to, close your eyes, open your heart, and fall in love again... and hope that your significant other catches you...

:newyorklove:

dgmodel/marko

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Originally posted by dgmodel

sometimes theres this one person in our lives that touched us... not just in a physical way however touched us like no other individual ever did or will... be it by wisdom, spoken words, actions, lil nuances, romances, just even simple smile or even a reassuring comforting glance... a person who you loved for their faults, for the lil things that made them them... a sweet surrender if you will... and for some reason the relationship didnt work out at that point in time... as if it was the perfect thing at the wrong time... just because of lil differences at that point in time effected the relationship... maybe too young, maybe too old, maybe you werent mature enough or too mature, or maybe the friends didnt like you etc... and you needed the time apart to live out your own lives in order to form a life together... maybe now after all this time apart youve ripened and are ready to be picked... maybe this time around is the right time... who knows... the only way to find out is to, close your eyes, open your heart, and fall in love again... and hope that your significant other catches you...

I think you just hit the nail on the head. I don't believe in going out with someone once things have ended, but I would make an exception for this one. No matter where I live, what I do, how old I get, this one person will always have a piece of my heart. I have always had a piece of his, but things didn't work. I am not even sure that it would go this route again.... Just spending the time with the other day, it was like nothing changed, even though it had. Of course, there are no blinders this time around, and there has been a lot of time to change and grow..... The difference is already visible. I know I would be content with things as they are, apologies were made, and things were discussed.....There are no hurt feelings or unanswered questions now... I guess you can see why I am kinda stuck on this one.... I won't do the same dance as last time, but I would be willing to try a new one.....

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Originally posted by njdionysus

Move on, you cant teach an old dog new tricks. In other words, understand that you cannot change someone. You have to accept them for who they are and if you can overlook your differences from the past, then and only then should you even think about it. I've gone back several times, but its never worked out for the best. Its like holding on to old memories, they are what they are, memories.

I do know, this is easier said than done. I think it wasn't the right time for either of us, even though it was a learning experience for both of us.

Memories, are sometimes the best part of the past.:)

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Originally posted by dgmodel

you ever owned an expensive vase??? and at one point it fell and broke??? than you came to a fork in the road... the fork is either toss the pieces and save up to buy a new vase or glue this one back together... option one is buying a new isnt as good as the first one, and the one you really want isnt ever in the store... or option b, you chose to glue it back together... now youre done glueing it back together and you find that theres lil hair line cracks through out the vase, and in some places lil pieces missing... the cracks are all the arguments, the missing pieces are moments in time lost, (either from not speaking to each other, time that past, etc) however now if you try to put substance in the vase (i.e trust/love etc) the vase doesnt hold it... and its purpose is lost... and now its better on shelf to be looked at then used... (meaning it might be better to just leave the good memories on the shelf, then trying to keep filling up the vase and cleaning up the mess)

However depending on the relationship that analogy/metaphor has no meaning... sometimes theres this one person in our lives that touched us... not just in a physical way however touched us like no other individual ever did or will... be it by wisdom, spoken words, actions, lil nuances, romances, just even simple smile or even a reassuring comforting glance... a person who you loved for their faults, for the lil things that made them them... a sweet surrender if you will... and for some reason the relationship didnt work out at that point in time... as if it was the perfect thing at the wrong time... just because of lil differences at that point in time effected the relationship... maybe too young, maybe too old, maybe you werent mature enough or too mature, or maybe the friends didnt like you etc... and you needed the time apart to live out your own lives in order to form a life together... maybe now after all this time apart youve ripened and are ready to be picked... maybe this time around is the right time... who knows... the only way to find out is to, close your eyes, open your heart, and fall in love again... and hope that your significant other catches you...

:newyorklove:

dgmodel/marko

That was fuckin' brilliant. Did you come up with that on your own DG?

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an Ex should almost always stay an ex...remember, everyone breaks up for a reason, right? If you two happen to get back together you will find yourself wondering WHY did you get caught up in the same relationship that had a purpose for ending...;)

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Originally posted by dknybabe2929

an Ex should almost always stay an ex...remember, everyone breaks up for a reason, right? If you two happen to get back together you will find yourself wondering WHY did you get caught up in the same relationship that had a purpose for ending...;)

This the only one I would consider trying again. Yes, there were reasons for a break up. But, that was a long time ago, I am not even sure it will turn into anything..... The idea is nice, but once bitten twice shy.... So, this time would definitely be different, that is already apparent from just talking and hanging for a lil bit the other day....

IDK....:confused:

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Guest jroo

you two dirty birdies get a room.

on the real though. i dated my last girlfriend for two years. we broke up 3 times. the last time was permament. it was the worst two years of my life now that i look back at it. i was in my prime, and it was all wasted. sure we had our goodtimes. but we broke up for a reason, and thats that. ex's need to stay ex's. all there is too it. i know its tough. go watch the movie swingers and get over it. find a new love, a better love, one that wont throw petty shit in your face, someone that appriceates being with you. and respects you, not someone that thinks you owe them something.

get the fuck out of dodge. fuck him one last time if you want, but no relationsip. thats just dumb.

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you two dirty birdies get a room.

Who, us....lol...:D

....on the real though. i dated my last girlfriend for two years. we broke up 3 times. the last time was permament. it was the worst two years of my life now that i look back at it. i was in my prime, and it was all wasted. sure we had our goodtimes. but we broke up for a reason, and thats that. ex's need to stay ex's. all there is too it. i know its tough. go watch the movie swingers and get over it. find a new love, a better love, one that wont throw petty shit in your face, someone that appriceates being with you. and respects you, not someone that thinks you owe them something.

get the fuck out of dodge. fuck him one last time if you want, but no relationsip. thats just dumb.

You sound very bitter still....Not that you don't have that right. You are right, it's ahard call, either way. It could work or it could not. But, I don't know unless I try..... Our realationship wasn't quite as "vicious"(for lack of a better word) as yours seems to have been.

Realtionships can really suck sometimes......:blank:

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as usual, im liking the way marko thinks... :love:

it's definitely a hard decision, but i think you'll make the right one... yeah they became ex's for a reason, but people do change and sometimes, they change for the better...

my advise: listen to your :heart:... :) i know it'll work out the way it's supposed to in the end...

good luck sweets~ :grin:

:moon:ie :half:

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