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heatherlynn

when is a reltionship secure enough for threesomes....

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Originally posted by teklord310

another guy or another girl?

Just an honest question, yeah its a little messed up but some guys would share with another guy just to get some.

OK, that makes no sense- it's her boyfriend, I'm sure he's already getting some.

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Originally posted by heatherlynn

my boyfriend just recently mentioned threesomes. we've both done it before in other relationships but, not together. how do you know if your secure enogh? in the past it caused problems...:confused:

You need a 3some... get the toys!!

Only if it's his bachelor/your bachelorette party then I can see a reason for a 3some, other wise :no:

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Originally posted by prplhz

As much as we would like it to not ruin things, something tells me it probably always will. Only very special circumstances will you find that it won't....

Yes, i agree.

Unless you two are VERY open sexually and won't let jealousy/emotion get in the way, i'd stay clear of this (if you're in a relationship)

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idk. i think if youre both doing it for yourself it can be an exciting idea but when you are doing it because the other one wants it or something along those lines, that is when the jealousy kicks in. i wouldnt do it just to do it, i would do it if i had intense feeling for both people involved and they had the same feelings for eachother, and me..

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Wait till you're just about to break up anyway, then go ahead and do it.............then you won't feel bad when things go sour, cause they were headed in that direction anyway..................so now you've killed 2 birds with on stone.

threesome = check

breakup = check

everyone's happy = check

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Originally posted by LogiKandReasoN

Youre just that much of a moron then :rolleyes:

you know....there really is no need for name calling...

and as far as threesomes are concerned...make no mistake, the only issue of security will be the "insecurity" that spurns from the whole episode...

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I don't Like 3 some with my boyfriend i mean if i will do it i will do it with two people that hasn't any sentimental connection with me,maybe with someone that i know but not with my guy ...

my suggestion is SPEAK OUT LOUD what u want , want u don't like , the consequences etc.. so he will understand if he really wants to have it or not ..

its seems very easy BUT no way after the stuff is done several things happen ...

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I don't recommend it if your in a loving relationship. If you aren't getting your rocks off , then something either of you are doing isn't right. It's best to have threesomes with people that are flings... It certainly can make things akward, and jealousy and insecurities would play a big factor. I dont play well with others, and im a selfish person when it comes to relationships and friendships ;)! I use the term Selfish LOOSELY! :D

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these things have to be established before you get into a relationship. you have to set ur boundries before hand because thats the only way theyll be respected, you cant do something like this once ur in a relationship cuz ur both probably too immature to handle ur feelings about this(no offense against you but this really does affect the relationship hardcore) and besides, why have a threesome when you can but a pikachu doll. after seeing that video i ran out and bought one, man are they fun.

IMA DIRTY DOG *HUMPING PIKACHU*

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Originally posted by teklord310

another guy or another girl?

Just an honest question, yeah its a little messed up but some guys would share with another guy just to get some.

some girls would share with another girl just to get some too whats your point :confused:

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Originally posted by heatherlynn

my boyfriend just recently mentioned threesomes. we've both done it before in other relationships but, not together. how do you know if your secure enogh? in the past it caused problems...:confused:

if your in a good and secure relationship with him, why do u feel a need to have sex with someone else:confused:

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Well...I have a decent amount of experience on the topic, so I figure I'd offer my advice...

My ex and I had threesomes fairly regularly. Mainly because the two of us were secure enough with ourselves and secure enough in our feelings for each other, that we were able to seperate the sex from the emotion.

We had friends we played with and would occasionally go cruisin for a third.

In the end what it comes down to is how comfortable you are with yourself and your partner. If you can look at your partner and know that what his cock is doing has nothign to do with what his heart is doing, go for it. However, make sure it won't come back and bite you in the ass.

But as with all things in a relationship it comes down to communication. Communicate what you want and what you're feeling and let your partner know where you're coming from. Don't let your partner to put you into a position you're uncomfortable with (no pun intended) and vice versa. Communication is key. Particularly when embarking on this kind of journey, because it is an incredible amount of trust.

-Grizz

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Originally posted by kurokuma

My ex and I had threesomes fairly regularly. Mainly because the two of us were secure enough with ourselves and secure enough in our feelings for each other, that we were able to seperate the sex from the emotion.

Im sorry, but something here just doesn't seem right.

I don't know what lead to the breakup of you and your girl, but read between the lines: "My ex and I had threesomes fairly regularly"...

That kinda suggests that 3-some's aren't necessarily for those involved in serious relationships. To me, it doesn't matter if you're secure or not. We all have jealousy. And unless you're not taking the sex or each other seriously, i don't see how a 3-some can succeed in a serious relationship:confused:

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This situation is very odd....something doesn't sound right & imo I think it's a bad idea. My ex asked also asked me about having a 3some & things just suddenly started to go wrong & we broke up shortly after.....I feel if you are in a commited relationship that kind of behavior is unecessary...the both of you have done it before so it's not like you are going to experiment with it.. yuo been there done that, there's no need for it ...If the 2 of you are serious with each other I don't think a 3rd party is a good idea to spice up the sex life ...Jealousy will definetally get involved IMO no matter how secure you are with yourself....if the both of you started discussing it & agreed on it then it would be all good but him coming out & asking you just sounds weird & I think it was said as an easy way to get a$$ from someone else (so he doesn't have to feel guilty about cheating) or it's a sign he's bored with the sex :confused: I dunno...I just don't think you should do it

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Originally posted by sweetie029

This situation is very odd....something doesn't sound right & imo I think it's a bad idea. My ex asked also asked me about having a 3some & things just suddenly started to go wrong & we broke up shortly after.....I feel if you are in a commited relationship that kind of behavior is unecessary...the both of you have done it before so it's not like you are going to experiment with it.. yuo been there done that, there's no need for it ...If the 2 of you are serious with each other I don't think a 3rd party is a good idea to spice up the sex life ...Jealousy will definetally get involved IMO no matter how secure you are with yourself....if the both of you started discussing it & agreed on it then it would be all good but him coming out & asking you just sounds weird & I think it was said as an easy way to get a$$ from someone else (so he doesn't have to feel guilty about cheating) or it's a sign he's bored with the sex :confused: I dunno...I just don't think you should do it

AMEN !!

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Originally posted by gmccookny

I don't know what lead to the breakup of you and your girl, but read between the lines: "My ex and I had threesomes fairly regularly"...

That kinda suggests that 3-some's aren't necessarily for those involved in serious relationships. To me, it doesn't matter if you're secure or not. We all have jealousy. And unless you're not taking the sex or each other seriously, i don't see how a 3-some can succeed in a serious relationship:confused:

Actually...my ex and I's breakup had nothing to do with our sexual proclivites. Honestly, it had nothing to do with what we did in bed, it had everything to do with our lives not being compatable at the time.

I didn't say that they were necessary for the relationship to be serious, but it was something we both enjoyed and something we could share together.

We all have jealousy, but the point is at which point does your jealousy outweigh your reason. He and I's relationship worked fine inside and outside the bedroom, because we both had the ability to seperate our jealousy over things into what was reasonable jealosuy and what was not. Frankly...I thought it was hot to watch my boyfriend who I was unerringly attracted to with someone else. I'm sorry it was hot. Just as I know he enjoyed the same.

However, I'm saying this, but I also have to admit that the dynamic between m2m relationships are quite different than those in m2w relationships. It's been so long since I went out with women I couldn't even really say if it would have been feasible in the past, I doubt it. The female emotional connection to sex is not the same as those of men...*shrugs*

All I'm saying is, it worked for us...it won't work for everyone else. Hell...we'd even discussed adding a permanent third to our relationship. I'm a poly-amorist and so was he.

It's all about personal boundaries. If it doesn't work for you and your partner, don't do it and if you do do it, know what you're getting into.

-Grizz

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