elementx Posted October 9 Report Share Posted October 9 Men vs. Women: Round 1NICKNAMESIf Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call eachother Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer toeach other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.EATING OUTWhen the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20,even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller,and none will actually admit they want change back.When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.MONEYA man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.BATHROOMSA man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, abar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A manwould not be able to identify most of these items.ARGUMENTSA woman has the last word in any argument.Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.CATSWomen love cats.Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.FUTUREA woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.SUCCESSA successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.A successful woman is one who can find such a man.MARRIAGEA woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.DRESSING UPA woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.NATURALMen wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.Women somehow deteriorate during the night.OFFSPRINGAh, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentistappointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears andhopes and dreams.A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.THOUGHT FOR THE DAYAny married man should forget his mistakes.There's no use in two people remembering the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trancedkitten Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 Originally posted by elementx Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted October 10 Author Report Share Posted October 10 Originally posted by trancedkitten LoL Its Ok... I happen to love cats... So some of this is false... I just can't stand when those little fuckers are kittens and hide under the bed and attack your bare feet when you walk by... But I do love when they do that little retarted kitten hop to the side... Too Bad my land lord wont let me have one in my apt... It get so Lonely sometimes... LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nayohmee Posted October 26 Report Share Posted October 26 :laugh: That reminds me of a few days ago when I saw my bf kick my cat..... I dont know what it is w.\ guys & cats but they all hate them. *Naomi* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adonis55 Posted October 29 Report Share Posted October 29 Originally posted by elementx Men vs. Women: Round 1A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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