naomi1 Posted October 15 Report Share Posted October 15 New Age corporate and investment acronyms CEO: chief embezzlement officer. CFO: corporate fraud officer. P/E: parole entitlement. EPS: eventual prison sentence. BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET: A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. MOMENTUM INVESTING: The fine art of buying high and selling low. VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.BUY, BUY: A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane. STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock. FINANCIAL PLANNER: A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes. MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. WINDOWS 2000: What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. YAHOO: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Someone who has owned equities for the last two years and who's now locked up long-term in a hospital PROFIT: Religious guy who talks to God Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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