rizzo Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 It has come to my attention that this blow hard Donkeyboy and his band of merry spelunkers of the "brown eye" pollute the already dirty Jersey board with Grade A pasturized Donkey dookie. I wanted to see personally how elite of a clubbing crew these donkeys are.A while ago Rizzo took a trip out to Long Island (look far back in archives) and it was only proper to visit the second area of where B&T are produced.As I sit down on the train, I hear this constant wheezing next to me. It sounds as if Big Black John Henry is raping some sort of cow with his 12" man meat. I try to turn up my ATB featuring Darude remix of "Sandstorm" (listening to fit in to the Jersey crowd) but no avail..the skreetch gets louder and louder. As I turn my head I see this slab of bacon passed out taking up 5 seats. Metro North was not equipped with their industrial forklift so there was little to do. I wanted to engage in some conversation with this mammal so i tied a up a whole turkey to a string which woke her up quickly. Little did I know that this sloth was the Club Planet poster known as DonkeyBitch. She gave me all the info I needed to know to meet the entire Donkey crew.As I get off the train I run into two girls considered by Jersey standards hot, getting ready to infest manhattan to goto Exit. Keep in mind it was 3 in the afternoon but they wanted to be sure they could get in. After hearing that I actually live in manhattan they stuck to me like flies on shit, and I had to pull a Fast Move McGirk to get away.I walk down the street and run into some drunk 3 toothed Jersey mother who is giving directions for 25cents. I ask her about the infamous Donkey Crew and her eyes widen. She hands me a map for free and walks away laughing. (Later found out this was DonkeyBoys aunt)I start walking to the first location of a Donkey member. As I approach the X marked on the map I run into a crispy looking fellow whos apparently asleep. This is DonkeyDan. Dan got kicked out of Community College , then his moms basement, which resulted in him living outside in this state. I moved on and gave Dan time to rest.I was thirsty after such a long walk, and the pollution in Jersey dried out my throught. I walked into a small bar/restauraunt which was also marked with a red X. In the corner I heard some guy babbling about the old Tunnel nightclub and something about how "Dutch never let me in". I walk up to the bearded wonder and find out this is DonkeyJeb. Jeb is pushing a good 86 years and is the oldest and wisest donkey. Jeb holds the donkey record for most rejections in nightclubs, and most roofies passed to girls. I skipped on the drink out of fear of Jeb's GHB skills and ran out.Fatigue started to set in as I walked mile after mile in the trenches and slime which lay on the grounds of Jersey. I got word that many Jerseyites take pride in their cars and supe them up to the max. I walked over to the next X which was located in a garage which held 2 nice cars. Out of nowhere shoots out this little troll peddling some sort of a tri-cycle. This folks is DonkeyChip, the main car aficionado for the Donkeys. Unfortunatly Chip got laid off from stamping kids hands at the local bumper car ride and only works the night shift at Dunkin Doughnuts which isnt enough to pay for a 2001 Honda Civic with a body kit and rims. Chip was useless so I beat his skull in with a nearby brick and used his tri-cycle to peddle around.I had to take a major piss and needed to find the local bathroom. To my luck it was near by also marked with an X. I peddled over and slammed open the door to find three of the "rookie" Donkey members Chan, Kirk and Gary all playing a popular donkey game called "Drink the Chocolate". After nearly throwing up over these disgusting donkeys I ran out.I was slowly coming to an end of red X's which meant only a few donkeys left in this section of Jersey. I walked near a plaza of some sort near a mall (of of Jerseys 500) and saw a big crowd. After pushing thru the gel' headed meatheads I saw the notorious DonkeyMike a.k.a Yo-Yo-Chode juggling chicken drumsticks, then going into his dissappearing act which he swalows children in the crowd and shits them out. I couldnt talk to Mike too much due to the fact that his mouth/jaw were propped open so wide, because of 20 years of stuffing whole cooked birds and other things into his mouth. After babbling like Sloth from goonies to me I spit in Mikes face and walked away.I was getting sick from the stench of gel, pollution, and donkey feces that I had to get the fuck outta Jersey. I used the same trick I did with donkey bitch to lure her away to lure 3 Guidos named Rocky, Vinny, and Vic from their suped up Jetta. Instead of meat I used Comp Cards to Sound FACTORY and a Bottle of Tigi Bed Head. After stealing their car I ran into the last Donkey at the Jersey Turnpike. DonkeyZiggy does the off peak hours for Kamal at the local tollbooth/convienient store. Ziggy had one tooth, and was the lowest of the low of the Donkeys. The only reason he was a donkey was because of his 15" penis which he rammed up the leader DonkeyBoy's unwipped assmeat brown hole daily. Ziggy tried to give me problems because my hair wasnt spiked so I took some extra gasoline in the back seat, poured it thru the slot and threw in a match setting his afro ablaze while I drove off.My next mission is to actually find the leader and his main henchmen.Stay tuned for the next episode of "Rizzo goes to Jurzeee" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badassmafuka Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 Too much time on your hands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njnjnite Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 If you are could please tell me what the F$@#@%K is this all about Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deeelite1 Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 u are out of control Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehype Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 how did Jack Osbourne get in the last pic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelicious Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somegirl24 Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 Originally posted by njnjnite If you are could please tell me what the F$@#@%K is this all about Uh, NO..its not him!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njnjnite Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 then who:idea: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehype Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 Anyone notice the Family Truckster in the one pic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rizzo Posted October 17 Author Report Share Posted October 17 njnjniteHeyyy man!! Its MIKE RIZZO from 103.5 the New KTU? What seems to be the problem?KTU- Playing the Freshest beats in 2002 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdntheshortbus Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 Great, next Rich Luzzie is going to be on here posting..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donkeywhore Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 Listen up alll you bitches....this Rizzo character doesnt know shit....KTU sucks Donkey nuts...Fucking in Mexico we have real radio stations that play all the best club music......HHHHEEE HHHHAAAWWWWWW!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rizzo Posted October 17 Author Report Share Posted October 17 DonkeyWhore: try not to pass out on the train next time I want to talk to you slut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badassmafuka Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 Originally posted by somegirl24 Uh, NO..its not him!!! Look who butts in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunnie818 Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 That was great :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kostaP Posted October 18 Report Share Posted October 18 Originally posted by donkeywhore Fucking in Mexico we have real radio stations that play all the best club music......HHHHEEE HHHHAAAWWWWWW!!!! La-Cuca-raa-cha La-cu-ca-ra-cha, la la la la la la laaaaaa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.