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sexxyme

The Annual Stella Awards

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It's time once again to consider the candidates

for the annual Stella Awards.

The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck

who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds.

That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous

successful lawsuits in the United States. The following are

this year's candidates:

1.Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by

a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a

toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners

of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict,

considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

2.A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000

and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his

hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't

notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when

he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.

3.Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was

leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of

the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to

go up since the automatic door opener was

malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because

the door connecting the house and garage locked when

he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and

Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for

eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found,

and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the

homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused

him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune

of $500,000.

4.Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded

$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the

buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The

beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The

award was less than sought because the jury felt the

dog might have been just a little provoked at the time

by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a

pellet gun.

5.A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber

Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she

slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx

(tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.

Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds

earlier during an argument.

6.Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued

the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when

she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and

knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while

Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in

the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover

charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

7.This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv

Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski

purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor

home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the

freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and

calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back

and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly,

the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr.

Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the

owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The

jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The

company actually changed their manuals on the basis of

this suit, just in case there were any other

complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

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....can u imagine what it must feel like to be forced to pay someone who was breaking into your house some ridiculous amount of money...just because the shitbag got what he deserved!!!

...i dunno.....i guess maybe because i was not raised that way.....but suing never even enters my mind.......like the chick who threw her drink and then slipped.....i would not even think to sue....i would think....damn...i just tried to look all tough and busted my ass instead:laugh:

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....can u imagine what it must feel like to be forced to pay someone who was breaking into your house some ridiculous amount of money...just because the shitbag got what he deserved!!!

...i dunno.....i guess maybe because i was not raised that way.....but suing never even enters my mind.......like the chick who threw her drink and then slipped.....i would not even think to sue....i would think....damn...i just tried to look all tough and busted my ass instead:laugh:

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