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cookiegirl

Remember the NJ Guidos? *lol*

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They just made ishkur.com's "Stupid Rave Site of the Week". . and the write up is hilarious. btw, the entire ishkur site is hilarious (they loved it on the old, pre-membership Buzz board if that means anything). Check it out when you have some downtime, especialy the stupid site and caption sections.

For your entertainment:

STUPID SITE OF THE WEEK - http://www.njguido.com

njlogo2.jpg

Guido = Party like a rockstar! There are no excuses!

As near as I can figure, this is a site made by, for, and starring meatheads. And not even decent or polite meatheads, but meatheads who like to revel in their meatheadedness. I don't even know if they go to raves (they might, if all their friends do). In fact, let's hope they don't. Come to think of it, how did these people even get on the internet in the first place? Aren't they too busy playing football or talking about the snatch they scored last weekend or the frat party where they got totally hammered to sit down and mash keys on the keyboard?

This site is centered around New Jersey. The term "guido" is east coast slang for "I go to clubs, take my shirt off and flex really hard to impress females". They're most commonly found scoping out meatmarket clubs with dress codes that include fake n bake tans until your skin matches a carrot, and television dating shows. Hehe. Those dating shows are hilarious--they're actually set up to make fun of these assbeetles. Not that striving to be a guido isn't a noble pursuit, but you got to at least mix some substance along with the lactic acid you burn five times a week. That's why these guys also have articles about their party lifestyle. One of their articles went:

PAAAAAAARRRRTTTTTTYYYYYYYY!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

PARTY, YEAH!! YEAH!! YEAH!! SHOW US YOUR TITS! WOOOOOOO!! GO RAIDERS!

Actually, it's not even that. Stereotypes aside, this site is pretty funny. Guidos are labelwhores, hyper consumers, materialists, and McDonald's placemat puzzle unsolvers all at the same time. Their quest for self-actualization stops at the uber-shallow "buy expensive shit" phase. It's the only thing that makes them happy. I'm not sure where the word Guido comes from. I think maybe it's how a Guido pronounces "Greed-o" (all Guidos, as we know, have speech impediments), greed being the operative word since being a true guido is all about the you, and the world that revolves around it.

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Our combined intelligence is just barely enough to light a match.

And what is with the tendancy these days to celebrate being a tool? It's as if, instead of trying to rectify one's moronism, the solution is to turn a complete 180 and say with a straight face that it's a desirable habit. Do you see child molesters starting websites about how wonderful prebuscent pussy tastes? Is there some kind of hidden collective out there that I don't know about relishing in the scrumptious delight of cannibalism? Not that I'm saying being a guido is at the same level as incest or necrophilia, but geeez: have some respect for yourself, man! I've seen asshat junglist crews bask in the greatness of their crystal addiction, and more than a few blondes who deserve a much needed punch in the face laud their blatant and overt stupidity. That's nothing to be proud of. It should be a crime to be incompetent. Enough with this throwing your arms in the air and saying "whoops. I'm dumb" thinking it alleviates the blame. No. You still suck. And you're still at fault.

I wonder if guidos are aware that the very paradigm of their lifestyle is almost perfectly and exclusively mirrored by the north american (and probably european) high-class gay club scene. Heh.

I'm sure Nelly is to blame for all this. But, you see, what he's doing is selling a fantasy on TV, and believe me (as I've seen it in person): re-enacting his videos does not make you cool, hip, or on the cutting edge of social interactivity. Copying shit you see on TV is, in fact, one of the most retarded things people do to impress other people. Turn the fucking thing off and stop trying so hard.

Guidos have a theory for why everyone hates them. They call it jealousy. I have a different theory. I think they just have some sort of inherent mandate of sizing up and turning away anyone who doesn't look/dress/act/think/buy the same shit as them. Nothing gets people pissed off at you more than being haughty and exclusive. Also probably because of the obvious way they try to grossly overcompensate for their shortcomings. Like a shiny new car to replace low SAT scores, or doing whatever TV says to replace self-awareness. In a scene that fosters acceptance and differences (except maybe stupidity...that's what I'm here for), these guys are going the wrong way. In the wrong lane. In the wrong car.

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My breasts weigh more than the rest of my body.

CONTENT: Okay. So you guys have proven that one can't have beauty and intelligence at the same time. But that's alright. As I remember telling someone yesterday, it's not what you do that's important, it's how you do it. That's the same problem I have with guidos. It's not what they do that has most of the scene thumbing its nose at them. It's how they go about being assclowns doing it.

INTERACTIVTY: The pictures are like a caption gold mine.

OVERALL GRADE: D Yes, your shit does indeed stink. Just like everybody elses. But it doesn't stink quite as bad as your hair.

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Originally posted by hotcheme

1. k not everyone in new jersey is like that -

2. though they are the reason i NEVER go to the jersey shore.....

1. she's right, hotcheme is cool, no guidette in her :aright:

2. rrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiight :rolleyes::D

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