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hating life


heretic909

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i didn't catch it in time... but i'm sure i can relate...

i try to stay away from my computer when i'm fucked up... its just a good idea in general... trust me. :)

i'm sure i'm supposed to throw in some "don't worry, i'm sure things will get better" comment here... but i don't really subscribe to that brand of logic... :laugh:

hope shit works out for ya...

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Originally posted by weyes

remember that alcohol is a depressant, and especially bad for those who are already depressed :( . ergo, i don't drink (makes things easier).

just to hop in, when i recall right that isn´t true. alcohol AMPLIFIES every state you have. therefor you have those that are totally euphoric while drunk and those that get totally depressive. all depends how happy they are with life in general :)

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Well I'm sober now and still hating life, so here goes:

The little girl that was born on my birthday a couple weeks ago... Turns out she's not mine. I still want to be the father regardless, but the mother is living in the projects with her mother now and doesn't want to start a family with me. Although she does want to give the baby my last name for financial support even though I'm not the biological father, but I'm refusing to give her my name unless they both move in with me.

Since it was found out that the baby isn't mine and the mother and I aren't working out, a lot of girls in the scene are suddenly all up on my shit. I guess that isn't all that bad, but I'm really so pissed off with women right now that I'm just not in the mood for any of this shit anymore.

So a girl calls me up last night and she knows I'm pissed, so she invites me out for drinks and says I can vent to her. So I figure it'll be ok to meet up with her since I know that she's married and her and I can usually talk about anything with each other. So I'm venting and she's buying me drinks all night long until I'm good and drunk, and then she actually pushed me into the bathroom and started going down on me. Now I'm just more convinced that women are evil, and I'm seriously considering going the asexual route for a long while cause I'm so sick of this shit.

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I hear you on that one brother....

sometimes you just have to back off for awhile

get your shit straight

then when everythings running 100%

then find a woman companion.

People want what they want and are going to take

what they want regardless of whats right.

You just have to surround yourself with people who want

the same things you do...or there are going to be conflicts of intrests.

Im kind of happy for you that the kid isnt yours...sure being a father figure is a great thing...but theres plenty of time for that later...for now..its time to get things in order eh?

:flame:

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Originally posted by heretic909

Well I'm sober now and still hating life, so here goes:

The little girl that was born on my birthday a couple weeks ago... Turns out she's not mine. I still want to be the father regardless, but the mother is living in the projects with her mother now and doesn't want to start a family with me. Although she does want to give the baby my last name for financial support even though I'm not the biological father, but I'm refusing to give her my name unless they both move in with me.

Since it was found out that the baby isn't mine and the mother and I aren't working out, a lot of girls in the scene are suddenly all up on my shit. I guess that isn't all that bad, but I'm really so pissed off with women right now that I'm just not in the mood for any of this shit anymore.

So a girl calls me up last night and she knows I'm pissed, so she invites me out for drinks and says I can vent to her. So I figure it'll be ok to meet up with her since I know that she's married and her and I can usually talk about anything with each other. So I'm venting and she's buying me drinks all night long until I'm good and drunk, and then she actually pushed me into the bathroom and started going down on me. Now I'm just more convinced that women are evil, and I'm seriously considering going the asexual route for a long while cause I'm so sick of this shit.

SORRY TO HEAR THAT. SUCKS! BUT BETTER NOW THAN LATER. I CAN UNDERSTAND YOU HATE WOMEN RIGHT NOW BUT JUST KEEP IN MIND THAT NOT ALL WOMEN ARE BAD.

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wow, that is a really shitty situation. i wish i could say something to help u but my minds blank. i agree with gothzane though, back away from everything, all doors are open for you now. dont do anything irrational, and stay away from the people who know about whats going on, they all sound manipulative.

i also think it's fucked up that she only wants to give the baby your last name for financial help.. you shouldnt allow youself to be a doormat. i understand you dont want to see anyone hurt but on the other hand, that is not going to make things better for you.

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Ohhhhhh my god, I am so horrified and disgusted for you. IDK how some people can be so heartless. :mad: :mad: I just hope you stick to your guns and no matter what, DO NOT give this woman any kind of financial support. The worst part of it, is that the baby is the one who's going to suffer. But it's the mother's responsibility, not yours.

I agree w/Gothzane. It really sounds like you need to do some serious reevaluation of your life, and the people who are in it. We (women) are not all conniving ho's... really!

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heretic, although the girl is not yours, and i understand you want to be there for her...don't do it....you might regret it in the long run, especially if you meet the woman of your dreams one day and want to have children with her.

and why would you get back with the mother anyways? she did not carry your child (i am assuming she didn't bother to tell you while you were together and she was with child). i think you should back off, let them take care of themselves, and YOU take care of YOURSELF. no need to put yourself in a difficult situation.

i recall you also saying you were on a tight budget. pragmatically speaking...why put yourself in a deeper hole...not trying to seem like i am saying be selfish....but if you cannot trust the mother, what's the point...the child's life will only be marred by this.

good luck...

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Originally posted by tastyt

Ohhhhhh my god, I am so horrified and disgusted for you. IDK how some people can be so heartless. :mad: :mad: I just hope you stick to your guns and no matter what, DO NOT give this woman any kind of financial support. The worst part of it, is that the baby is the one who's going to suffer. But it's the mother's responsibility, not yours.

I agree w/Gothzane. It really sounds like you need to do some serious reevaluation of your life, and the people who are in it. We (women) are not all conniving ho's... really!

you and i are on the same wavelength it seems...cheers.

:aright:

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What sucks is this isn't the first time I've been with a girl who had me convinced that she was carrying my baby. Same bullshit situation happened about eight years ago. If I have a talent for anything, it's hooking up with the ones that always end up fuckin with my head and pulling me farther away from sanity.

My favorite part was the other night when her, her mom and me were all fighting. Then after all the yelling, she told me that the only reason she stayed with me was because her mom convinced her to and told her that I was a responible guy that would make a good dad. And then she tells me that she never loved me the way I loved her, so I get to dwell on the fact that our relationship was basically a lie. Lovely...

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Originally posted by heretic909

What sucks is this isn't the first time I've been with a girl who had me convinced that she was carrying my baby. Same bullshit situation happened about eight years ago. If I have a talent for anything, it's hooking up with the ones that always end up fuckin with my head and pulling me farther away from sanity.

My favorite part was the other night when her, her mom and me were all fighting. Then after all the yelling, she told me that the only reason she stayed with me was because her mom convinced her to and told her that I was a responible guy that would make a good dad. And then she tells me that she never loved me the way I loved her, so I get to dwell on the fact that our relationship was basically a lie. Lovely...

perhaps this means you should walk away from it all before the situation gets more out of hand. let her find the real father and make him support his child. it is not your responsiblity. and she's a fucking bitch if she said that to you, more reason to ditch her.

you sound like you're young....give it time, things will change...(i hope)

don't give up hope...but think rationally also. will this really all benefit you in the end? do you want to alter your lifestyle to accomodate a girl who thinks and feels this way, AND her child? are you ready to become a parent? live a lie with this girl...i think you know how this is going...

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The real father is living in Detroit now and engaged to some other girl. I think that's why this girl and her mom are trying to get me to support them financially because they don't have the info for the real dad. Him and her went out for six years, then when they broke up, her and I hooked up. But he isn't working now, doesn't have any money, and he's never given them his info like his new address or his ssn# or anything.

A part of me just wants to walk away from all of this, but both her and I are really well known in this scene for our performances and shit. I just hope that this doesn't create a situation where people feel like they need to choose sides. I hate that shit. I've also been letting her store some of her shit over at my place since they live in this tiny apt in the projects. Plus they're only six blocks away from my place. I wish I had the money to move right about now.

I think the hardest part, besides the fact that I was so in love with this girl, was that I was there and watched this baby being born which just put my head into this daddy mindset. And since she was born on my birthday, it's just going to be a constant reminder every year with me wondering how this little girl is doing.

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:(

you should take some time to yourself and think things through...it's hard to not put people ahead of you (i'm like that sometimes...too unselfish). but you must consider the pros and cons of two situations: if you get back with her and raise the child, and if you don't.

but ...definitely sounds like you have a lot to deal with....i wish u the best...hang in there

sassa :)

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wow, sounds like a really bad situation...no matter what you do, it is going to be hard...i agree with everyone that you should probably not do anything for this b*tch and i can't believe she schemed all that...but it also seems like you really cared for her and so i know it is not always that easy to just walk away--you definitely need to take time off from everyone and everything and do some soulsearching about what is best for YOU, and get everything sorted out in your head...good luck :( so sorry you seem to have found a "bad apple" :(

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Originally posted by tastey

just to hop in, when i recall right that isn´t true. alcohol AMPLIFIES every state you have. therefor you have those that are totally euphoric while drunk and those that get totally depressive. all depends how happy they are with life in general :)

no, tastey, alcohol is a depressant. here are some links, the first one being a site that dispels common misconceptions about alcohol:

http://www.uihealthcare.com/topics/healthquizzes/heal4651.html

http://members.aol.com/brucertalbot/drugabuse.html

http://www.doitnow.org/pages/183.html

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and i'm sorry to hear everything, heretic. i'm with a lot of people on this, too - watch out for yourself and make sure you don't get hurt, first and foremost; that's not selfish, it's taking care of yourself, and no one else'll do that for you :) .

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Originally posted by heretic909

Well I'm sober now and still hating life, so here goes:

The little girl that was born on my birthday a couple weeks ago... Turns out she's not mine. I still want to be the father regardless, but the mother is living in the projects with her mother now and doesn't want to start a family with me. Although she does want to give the baby my last name for financial support even though I'm not the biological father, but I'm refusing to give her my name unless they both move in with me.

Since it was found out that the baby isn't mine and the mother and I aren't working out, a lot of girls in the scene are suddenly all up on my shit. I guess that isn't all that bad, but I'm really so pissed off with women right now that I'm just not in the mood for any of this shit anymore.

So a girl calls me up last night and she knows I'm pissed, so she invites me out for drinks and says I can vent to her. So I figure it'll be ok to meet up with her since I know that she's married and her and I can usually talk about anything with each other. So I'm venting and she's buying me drinks all night long until I'm good and drunk, and then she actually pushed me into the bathroom and started going down on me. Now I'm just more convinced that women are evil, and I'm seriously considering going the asexual route for a long while cause I'm so sick of this shit.

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this...just remember that Life will NEVER throw you a TWIST that you cant handle...As far as the married woman goes, that is just WRONG!!!! If she is married, that is a lifelong commitment and obviously she doesnt take that seriously.:rolleyes:

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