For the bored...

[snatch69]

Originally posted by vicman

:laugh:

omg, thats a funny one

now, x-mas is coming peeps. (hint hint)

[snatch69]

http://www.cs.unh.edu/~sdb/rlaramee/salad/

[snatch69]

http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html

[vikkii123]

Originally posted by snatch69

http://anomalies-unlimited.com/Jackson.html

[snatch69]

Originally posted by vikkii123

haha! i think he should of left himself ALONE! he looked fine back in the day. (fine as in normal, okay, not hot lookin.)

check yo PM's hun.

[vikkii123]

Originally posted by snatch69

haha! i think he should of left himself ALONE! he looked fine back in the day. (fine as in normal, okay, not hot lookin.)

check yo PM's hun.

Ya I would have to agree with you... but he's a freak so oh well.. lol

ok so I don't have any new PM's

[snatch69]

The Male Stages Of Life

AGE DRINK

17 beer

25 vodka

35 scotch

48 double scotch

66 Maalox

SEDUCTION LINE

17 My parents are away for the weekend.

25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.

35 My fiancée is away for the weekend.

48 My wife is away for the weekend.

66 My second wife is dead.

FAVORITE SPORT

17 sex

25 sex

35 sex

48 sex

66 napping

DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE

17 "tongue"

25 "breakfast"

35 "She didn't set back my therapy."

48 "I didn't have to meet her kids."

66 "Got home alive."

FAVORITE FANTASY

17 getting to third

25 airplane sex

35 menage a trois

48 taking the company public

66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

HOUSE PET

17 roaches

25 stoned-out college roommate

35 German Shepherd

48 children from his first marriage

66 Barbi

WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

17 25

25 35

35 48

48 66

66 17

The Female Stages Of Life

AGE DRINK

17 Wine Coolers

25 White wine

35 Red wine

48 Dom Perignon

66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES

17 Need to wash my hair

25 Need to wash and condition my hair

35 Need to colour my hair

48 Need to have Francois colour my hair

66 Need to have Francois colour my wig

FAVORITE SPORT

17 shopping

25 shopping

35 shopping

48 shopping

66 shopping

DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE

17 "Burger King"

25 "Free meal"

35 "A diamond"

48 "A bigger diamond"

66 "Home Alone"

FAVORITE FANTASY

17 tall, dark and handsome

25 tall, dark and handsome with money

35 tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain

48 a man with hair

66 a man

HOUSE PET

17 Muffy the cat

25 Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat

35 German Shepherd and Muffy the Cat

48 Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat

66 Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muff the Cat

WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

17 17

25 25

35 35

48 48

66 66

IDEAL DATE

17 He offers to pay

25 He pays

35 He cooks breakfast the next morning

48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids

66 He can chew breakfast

[snatch69]

This little boy goes up to his dad and he says "Dad?, What's the difference between Potentially and Realistically?" To which the father replies "Well son, go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then you ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then you ask your brother if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars." So the boy goes up to his mom and asks her if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars and the mother replies "Oh my god, of course I would, he is so good looking!" So the boy moves on and asks his sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and she replies "He is so fucking fine, of course I would!" Then last but no least he goes up to his brother and asks him if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars, his brother says "Of course I would, who wouldn't for a million bucks?" So he goes up to his dad and says "I think I learned the difference between potentially and realistically" "Well what's the difference?" says the father. "Well, potentially we're sitting on 3 million dollars, realistically we're living with 2 sluts and a fag!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[snatch69]

Ways To Have Fun in the Workplace

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-Cha."

Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Marge.

Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.

Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.

Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."

Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "oh you've got to be faster than that.

Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

[vicman]

Originally posted by snatch69

The Male Stages Of Life

The Female Stages Of Life

these were funny. i just saw them.

[snatch69]

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_00.htm

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_181.htm

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_82.htm

[snatch69]

Being a man definitely has its perks...

1. Your backside is never a factor in a job interview.

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

3. Your last name stays put.

4. The garage is all yours.

5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from having an elicit affair.

7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8. You don't give a hoot if no one notices your new haircut.

9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10. Same work .. more pay.

11. Wrinkles-add character.

12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17. One mood, ALL the time.

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20. You can open all your own jars.

21.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

27. No maxi-pads.

28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.

33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

35. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

36. Christmas shopping can be done for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 15 minutes.

37. The world is your urinal.

38. If your name is FUBAR, you can get away with wearing sweaters at clubs.

[snatch69]

THESE ARE DIRTY AND FUN:

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_55.htm

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_25.htm

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_165.htm

and my personal fave:

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_107.htm

[snatch69]

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_15.htm

yes, i get carried away.

[snatch69]

kinda mean, yet funny:

http://www.treefort.org/~rgrogan/web/bunny.htm#start

[nyis4meatheads]

Originally posted by snatch69

and my personal fave:

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_107.htm

Moderator, please delete this post... it's cruel, unjust, and just plain untrue.

:bj: :bj:

[snatch69]

Originally posted by nyis4meatheads

Moderator, please delete this post... it's cruel, unjust, and just plain untrue.

:bj: :bj:

if there's anything this moderator should do, it's freaking make CP faster!

[vicman]

dunno, i think ive gotten used to CP being slow and going down etc, its like the ugly duckling of message boards, at the beggining no one wants him, but we know hes the cutest. if CP wasnt as ghetto with its server, then it just wouldnt be CP anymore

[snatch69]

10 Things To Do In An Elevator To Have Fun

1. Blow out a huge depressed fart and blame it on the person next to you out loud.

2. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

3. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

4. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Show other passengers a rash on your genitals and ask if it looks infected.

7. Leave a box between the doors.

8. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

9. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask 'is that your beeper?'

10. Say 'I wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons.

[snatch69]

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&ncid=579&e=1&cid=638&u=/nm/20021119/en_nm/people_jackson_dc

someone gave this man children???

[snatch69]

http://yoga.tripod.co.jp/flash/kikkomaso.swf

japanese marketing is strange..reminds me of when homer was Mr. Sparkle.

[snatch69]

for the men

http://www.fhm.com/img/reporter/bigeye/15aug/boobs.swf

[snatch69]

http://www.ltn.lv/~even/pics/golfscra.jpg

[snatch69]

http://www.ltn.lv/~even/pics/fooled.jpg

[snatch69]

hottest new rapper:

http://kwl3.monmouth.com/