mrmatas2277 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by dnice35 Once again what if it happened at the begining of a relationship, and lets say you are a few years into it? I mean would you break up for something that happened years before? what if they cheated on you and they were not in love with you at the time., But now you are both "In love"? that would be a tough situation. Personally I believe in forgiveness. After all no one is perfect.... masturbation doesnt count as "cheating" dnice...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dnice35 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by mrmatas2277 masturbation doesnt count as "cheating" dnice...... I tought I could confied in you..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jsen7 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 What if you were in a relationship for 2 years or so and were fighting about issues and agreed to spend a lil time apart lets say a few months(2 - 3) just to let the dust settle to eventually work things out. Also this time apart can be used to see if you miss one another and truly care enough for each other. But during the time apart one person decides to hookup elsewhere but gets over it and goes back to the origianl relationship to work things out. Would anyone tolerate this type of action if they knew and would you still actual try and work things out if you knew your other half ventured elsewhere during this brief time apart??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meli2444 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by dnice35 I tought I could confied in you..... POOR DENIS. MATAS LIVES TO PICK ON YOU. MATAS- BE NICE. YOU GONNA MAKE HIM CRY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meli2444 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by Jsen7 What if you were in a relationship for 2 years or so and were fighting about issues and agreed to spend a lil time apart lets say a few months(2 - 3) just to let the dust settle to eventually work things out. Also this time apart can be used to see if you miss one another and truly care enough for each other. But during the time apart one person decides to hookup elsewhere but gets over it and goes back to the origianl relationship to work things out. Would anyone tolerate this type of action if they knew and would you still actual try and work things out if you knew your other half ventured elsewhere during this brief time apart??? THIS HAPPENED TO A FRIEND OF MINE AND SHE ENDED UP TELLING HER OTHER HALF AFTER THEY WENT BACK. I BELIEVE THAT IF YOUR NOT TOGETHER THEN IT SHOULDN'T MATTER. IF YOU LATER DECIDE TO GET BACK WITH THE PERSON YOU WERE WITH, YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN DISCUSS WHAT YOU DID WHEN YOU WEREN'T TOGETHER. THAT'S JUST GOING TO HURT AND BESIDES YOU WERE BROKEN UP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by dnice35 Once again what if it happened at the begining of a relationship, and lets say you are a few years into it? I mean would you break up for something that happened years before? what if they cheated on you and they were not in love with you at the time., But now you are both "In love"? that would be a tough situation. Personally I believe in forgiveness. After all no one is perfect.... i think that if i was with someone for 2 years and they came forward and told me they had cheated way in the begining it would make me question their character. i would no longer trust them and knowing they went this long without telling me & looking me in the face each day never saying a word about it would make me sick to my stomach, lol. i wouldnt think they were the same person... it would destroy everything i felt, and construe "reality", what i thought was reality anyway. i couldnt handle knowing the past was built on deception. if they came forward the next day i would have a harder time staying mad, at least that would show they werent a coward & they have some respect but i think in both situations you should get out asap. once a cheater always a cheater. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meli2444 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by somebitch i think that if i was with someone for 2 years and they came forward and told me they had cheated way in the begining it would make me question their character. i would no longer trust them and knowing they went this long without telling me & looking me in the face each day never saying a word about it would make me sick to my stomach, lol. i wouldnt think they were the same person... it would destroy everything i felt, and construe "reality", what i thought was reality anyway. i couldnt handle knowing the past was built on deception. if they came forward the next day i would have a harder time staying mad, at least that would show they werent a coward & they have some respect but i think in both situations you should get out asap. once a cheater always a cheater. I TOTALLY AGREE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted November 21 Author Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by Jsen7 What if you were in a relationship for 2 years or so and were fighting about issues and agreed to spend a lil time apart lets say a few months(2 - 3) just to let the dust settle to eventually work things out. Also this time apart can be used to see if you miss one another and truly care enough for each other. But during the time apart one person decides to hookup elsewhere but gets over it and goes back to the origianl relationship to work things out. Would anyone tolerate this type of action if they knew and would you still actual try and work things out if you knew your other half ventured elsewhere during this brief time apart??? It's a situation thats able to be worked out....Even though that wasn't the intention of the break (to find lovin elsewhere) if that helps him/her decide how they TRUELY feel about their partner & relationship it shouldn't become a serious issue... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dnice35 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by somebitch i think that if i was with someone for 2 years and they came forward and told me they had cheated way in the begining it would make me question their character. i would no longer trust them and knowing they went this long without telling me & looking me in the face each day never saying a word about it would make me sick to my stomach, lol. i wouldnt think they were the same person... it would destroy everything i felt, and construe "reality", what i thought was reality anyway. i couldnt handle knowing the past was built on deception. if they came forward the next day i would have a harder time staying mad, at least that would show they werent a coward & they have some respect but i think in both situations you should get out asap. once a cheater always a cheater. Theres just no winning with you girls.... I mean you would like a guy to be honest, but if they are honest you wont trust them, but if they are dishonest and honest the next day you would be able to trust them a little more..... ok nevermind I give up, I will never understand womenBy the way BY NO MEANS AM I SAYING CHEATING IS RIGHT! But people do make mistakes and some deserve a second chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suthrnbelle Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by ou812 I make it very clear from the outset with a girl that I will NEVER cheat on them, because I won't. I tell them straight out, I would sooner come to you and tell you "Look, I can't do this anymore, I can't be faithful, we should break up". I've not had the need to do that yet though.............basically, I'd expect the same in return, so if they break that trust, even if they come clean after the fact...............see ya latah alligatah. i couldn't have said it better myself...like vickii123, i have taken back cheaters, and it just got worse and worse and i have learned from that--there is a REASON people cheat, and IMO once they think they can get away with it, it only gets worse...also, i agree with somebitch that once you find out about something like that, your whole perception of the "reality" of the relationship has changed and that is something that isn't fixable...not to mention the fact that for me, whenever i talk to a certain someone that cheated on me(and yes, i did take him back and try again, but...) and he tells me how he screwed up, has to live with that, misses me, loves me, wants to marry me, blah blah...all i see in my mind is him having sex with that other girl, and i can't even talk to him.IMO: no trust = no relationship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suthrnbelle Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by dnice35 Theres just no winning with you girls.... I mean you would like a guy to be honest, but if they are honest you wont trust them, but if they are dishonest and honest the next day you would be able to trust them a little more..... ok nevermind I give up, I will never understand womenBy the way BY NO MEANS AM I SAYING CHEATING IS RIGHT! But people do make mistakes and some deserve a second chance. the way to win is not to cheat seriously, idk, i guess there might be some crazy instance where i would/could forgive a cheater, but i can not really see why someone that truly loved me and was worth my love in return would do something like that to jeopardize things...you know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dnice35 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 I am starting to comprehend women much better after reading all these post.....summary :I learned never to cheat and expect a woman to forgive me...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meli2444 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by dnice35 I am starting to comprehend women much better after reading all these post.....summary :I learned never to cheat and expect a woman to forgive me...... YOU SEE. WE ARE NOT THAT COMPLICATED. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted November 21 Report Share Posted November 21 Originally posted by dnice35 I am starting to comprehend women much better after reading all these post.....summary :I learned never to cheat and expect a woman to forgive me...... Cheating is very very very bad...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunnie818 Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Originally posted by somebitch that is exactly how it works... thats why i say dont forgive for cheating. i think only a sucker or someone really down on themself would forgive someone who cheated on them, i dont care how much you "love" the person, if they cared they wouldnt have done it. why be in a relationship if youre gonna cheat, just be fuck buddies, thats how i see it. Yo girl I love your responses....you always say exactly what I'm thinking!!I agree w/ somebitch 100%....completely unforgivable!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Originally posted by suthrnbelle the way to win is not to cheat seriously, idk, i guess there might be some crazy instance where i would/could forgive a cheater, but i can not really see why someone that truly loved me and was worth my love in return would do something like that to jeopardize things...you know? Love is a strange thing. Sometimes we hurt people by accident, sometimes we do it on purpose.... In the end, we still love them and might be willing to make an exception, because you have some sort of trust that matters between the two of you..... Being cheated on, breaks all of the rules and hurts so much, that you can lose yourself in the hurt. Sometimes you can let go of the hurt and move on, but sometimes you can't. What works for one person, might not work for another. If you have faith in yourself and the other person, then you can make it work.... But you have to be willing to completely let go and forgive......Ok, sorry for the babble.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irenegade7 Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Originally posted by sweetie029 If you were in a serious relationship & your partner came clean to you & said they cheated is it something you would ABSOLUTELY NOT tolerate...or because you care for the person would you try to work it out ?? I really don't consider this a cheating issue. It's more like a confession. Which in my opinion is a totally differenet thing. If he confesses it means that he really cared about the person to tell them thetruth. Remember its only ceating if you get caught. TO ALL THE MENI WARN YOU, NEVER, EVER, EVER CONFESS. If you confess then you become her bitch and she will never let you forget it. And besides she will nevertrust you ever again anyway. After the confession if she decides to keep youyou are going to be on lojack, a.k.a nextel phone.She will remember that until the day she dies or the day she kills you. Once again NEVER, EVER, EVERRRRRRRRR, CONFESS. By the way, womenreally don't want to know deep down anyway. There first response will be "why did you tell me that." Thank god I'm single... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gfofaguy69 Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Having been with my bf for 4 years, that would be really hard. Since I love him and have always planned on spending forever with him, I would try to get over it. BUT, I have never ever thought he would ever do anything like that, so it would seriously make me question how well I know him. Plus, i am a jealous person so I don't know if I could ever get over it. It depends on if it was just a weak physical moment, a long term real relationship, or something else. Something physical would be a lot easier to get over, but if he slept with her, i could never get over that, because we are the only ones we've ever slept with. I bet I would be surprised about how I could get over it though. We always seem to get through anything because we love each other so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erica127 Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Originally posted by ou812 I make it very clear from the outset with a girl that I will NEVER cheat on them, because I won't. I tell them straight out, I would sooner come to you and tell you "Look, I can't do this anymore, I can't be faithful, we should break up". I've not had the need to do that yet though.............basically, I'd expect the same in return, so if they break that trust, even if they come clean after the fact...............see ya latah alligatah. I totally agree with you on this. The way I see it is, if you cheated on the person, that person is obviosuly not "the one". I do not tolerate cheating whatsoever, whether it was earlier on or recently, u are out of my life because you did it once & it's bound to happen again...I tell them straight up that if they cheat on me, they are out. even if they don't tell me, i have a pretty good way of finding out... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erica127 Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Originally posted by dnice35 I am starting to comprehend women much better after reading all these post.....summary :I learned never to cheat and expect a woman to forgive me...... That's completely true...MOST women will not forgive you, but if they do, u better consider yourself one lucky ass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suthrnbelle Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Originally posted by irenegade7 I really don't consider this a cheating issue. It's more like a confession. Which in my opinion is a totally differenet thing. If he confesses it means that he really cared about the person to tell them the truth. no, it just means he has a guilty conscience.Originally posted by irenegade7 . After the confession if she decides to keep you you are going to be on the lojack, a.k.a nextel phone. nice analogy!Originally posted by irenegade7 Thank god I'm single... uh-oh you are a dead man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gabo Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Originally posted by suthrnbelle [ uh-oh you are a dead man! uhoh the cats out of the bag! are you telling us that you and irenegade are dating? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 there would have to be something in a person's character for them to cheat or stray or anything...maybe it's fear of commitment from past relationships, maybe he has a self-esteem problem, maybe he came from a broken home...hard to believe not everyone doesn't want to have someone to love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perns2002 Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Some people can forgive and foget and make it threw, others just can't ever forget and it doesn't work............ I guess it depends on the relationship and people. ......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted November 22 Report Share Posted November 22 Originally posted by perns2002 Some people can forgive and foget and make it threw, others just can't ever forget and it doesn't work............ I guess it depends on the relationship and people. ......... Yup yup.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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