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ThankShlonger's Eve Summary


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My TGE review:

Jersey Sucks. I don't know if I could keep going out in Jersey when I see the same faces every night. There is 4 billion other people out there that need to be blessed by my presence. I took care of about 3000 last night at Capitale and Bungalow 8. Here's how my night went. (you should hear some of the conversations I had last night)

Get to my friend's SoHo apt. at 8. Call up Grope, and Heartbreakkid and tell them how hot I am, and how I don't know if anyone can be as on fire as I am. They naturally concur and settle to live in the large shadow cast by the shlong. 8:20 shave. 8:30 jump in shower, face wash, shampoo, then exfoliate. 8:50 admire self in mirror, kiss each bicep 50 times. 9:00 get dressed, do hair, apply oil of o'lay active hydrating beauty fluid. Grope, Heartbreakkid, and passionate come over to pregame, and discuss groping tactics and exchange secrets. 10:00 we're off.

Get to Capitale 10:30, walk right in to our tables upstairs. Place is Huge. Order 3 bottles of grey goose and 2 of stoly o. Then Grope manages to "secure" another bottle of vodka. Chix scope the place to see what's available, and all stop at our table. Soo many japs, I felt like I was in lil israel. My 2 cousins show up with their group of 15 from DC, which is where the party begun. Before I know it, chix are making out with chix, then chix are making out with us, then guys want to make out with us!!! The bathroom lines, and lines in general for the place moved very slow. Then 3 inches of some liquid (I suspect a mix of alcohol, piss, and seminal fluid) fills the 3rd floor. So we leave the VIP and head downstairs where I run into a college buddy who works for Aerosmith. Now we're chilling in the Aerosmith VIP section (which had far less chix than the shlonger section). Crowd was a lil weird so we head over to Bungalow 8.

My cousin and I meet 2 older females. We end up going back to their apartment where we struggle to find prophyllactics. He suggests using seran wrap and attempts it, while I settle for...

That's where the story ends for you guys. On a side note, Rehab friday night, who wants in?

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