Attn: Members of GV, Inc.

[somegirl24]

Dearest Board Members of GV, Inc:

I would like to be granted permission to enter your organization on the grounds that I believe more women need to be associated with your squad. I am aware Angelicious is an executive assistant and her presence is distinguished. Please convene and let me know.

With sincerest thanks and booty shakes...

SomeGirl

but you could just just call me ALL WOMAN...

[roddigga]

dear miss somegirl, i am sorry but i think you may have this message board mistaken!!!!! this is for the strong and true club heads, not the washed up club rats that like to pretend they are still in the scene and have been

hiding behind a screen name all this time....................we would allow you too be part of the elite group of protein drinking, booty shaking, neck breaking,rock star group, but you have not proven your self yet that those old Legs still can hang w/ these young bucks, so once you get those bell bottoms out

of the closet and wipe the dust off those dancing shoes, maybe, just maybe you can be part of this elite group!!!!!

BRING IT SOMEGIRL YOU JUST MADE UBS THAT MUCH MORE FUN FOR ME CHICA.................

HOLLLA AT ME FELLAS

GV--------TOO FUNNY AND WHO YA CALLING GV, FLIP FOR LIFE

[somegirl24]

Listen Rod..you guido fist pumpin', spikey-haired, always smilin-with-your-dimple-showin mofo!!!!!!!!!!!

SomeGirl IS SPEAKING...........

Watch your back..I know where you sit...and next time I see you walking down the hall...

Just wait and see....

Now show me some respect...

[dogekid]

SomeGirl,

Your request has been received and we will forward you our decision once the rest of the internet world sees your pics (kidding, relax fuckface).

We have a paticularly complex point system that allow us to determine membership qualification into our company. As digga said, you must once again become a soldier of the NJ/NY night-life. You have the shmooze with the board members, let them get to know you, allow them to see if you possess any of the skills that would make you right for our organization. We also hold several fitness tests, which measure speed, strength, endurance and overall flexibility of the neck muscles, however further details of these proceedings cannot be disclosed at this time.

As of now certain ladies of CP are under the watchful eye of the donkeys and GV/Alliance members, however none except angelicious have been allowed access to the inner workings of our world; and she only serves in an administrative role at this time. Becoming the first lady of GV is a tremendous feat and will take some time by the board members to decide if you are fit for the job.

Any further applications should be PM'd to me, shlonger, bus, digga, badass, etc and please CC the donkeys on all correspondence going forward.

Sincerely,

the kid

[somegirl24]

Alright shit breath..I mean MASTER...

I will be eagerly awaiting your response...

Until then...

**God damn party shoes..where are they???????? **

[shlonger]

Angelicious is a temp to perm right now.

Somegirl, if u can lick my scrotum while I give it to you doggy style, then you're in.

[somegirl24]

Um, did Angelicious have to do that? Its all about equality!

[shlonger]

Not only did she do it, umm umm... she did it. The girls a freaking contortionist man.

I'll post my thoughts on bullshit equality/gender equality, and saved by the fucking bell tomorrow. I've got a lot to say, and i think i might piss off a few of you, especially Mr. Saved by the bell himself, thehype.

[angelicious]

Hi Somegirl,

It would be great to have another girl on board. As you can see even though you were to work for them, they are still brutal and very mean. This job means the world to me, they dont even know my name, when they call me they just say "hey you... do this or do that" I get fired at least every other day, I work all Holidays from open to after hours without pay, I cater to there every need, whether it be to get there coffee or fetch there laundry from the dry cleaners. I do all my work to the best of my ability and am as efficient as possible. If there is a flaw in anything I do, I am sure made aware of it and embrassed in front of the the entire staff, and then they inform the cleaning staff to go home early because I will finish there job.

Its a GREAT job!!! I sleep better at night knowing that one of the best qualities with my position and employment at guido vultron is working with great people that belittle me everyday and inform me of how useless I am.

Its great!! I will definite put in a good word in for you, even though they would probably tell me to shut up because they didnt ask me for my opinion and then fire me and send me home with no pay. It would be my pleasure.

Good luck.

[shlonger]

Our employee referral and signing bonuses are unparallelled. The referrer and the referred get to do shots of protein plasma donated by our staff. Besides the added perks of working alongside some of the most inquisitve, influential, and physically superior beings on the planet (dogekid, riding, donkeys, stacked, and myself), what more can you ask for.

Angelicious, remember when we made you get down on all fours wearing nothing but a g-string and a dartboard around your neck, while we heaved darts and balloons filled with boiling water at you... that was fun. Ahhh, the good ol' days.

[dogekid]

Somegirl,

We have reviewed your credentials and have decided to put you on a right-to-hire program within our firm. You will start this weekend, of course, and work straight through. There are no sick days, all doctor visits will be performed in house and video taped and sold in china. If you cannot make it into work one day you must show up for the next 5 business days wearing only 100% cotton socks on your hands and proceed to wax and buff all of the executive cars, jets, helicopters, etc on the lot.

Keep in mind that this is a temporary entrance and your full hiring will be based on the quality of work you do for GV Inc over the next 6 months. One of your first assignments will be to find me a shore house and stock it with liquor, food, protein supplements and mindless maxim girls. You'll also pay for this by working a second or third job as we won't be paying you in cash. Your compensation will be the mere pleasure of being in our company day and night. The only perk we offer is free sex and the use of our executive suite; it works on a point system, for every female you bring in through the front doors that leaves "dirtier" than when she came in, you will be allowed one free night with any our board members.

Any questions, comments or suggestions can be forwarded to Angelicious and she will promptly stick them up her ass.

We hope you're pleased with our decision and we look forward to having you serve us.

Yours truly,

kid

[somegirl24]

It is my honor to serve your every need and be at your beck and call. Please advise of the tasks you would like me to perform upon my initiation, I'd be happy to oblige.

Forever your servant

SomeGirl:bj:

[shlonger]

double post sorry

[shlonger]

Dear Somegirl24,

Welcome aboard Hoe!

Get used to being acknowledged or referred to in equally or more degrading terms.

Appropriate female attire on business days is a leotard, unless, as dogekid mentioned, you miss a day, in which case, you come in wearing only ANKLE socks on your hands. I can't emphasize ANKLE socks enough (Note: NOT TUBE socks). On holidays, you are allowed to dress as a fench maid. NO JACKETS, NO EXCEPTIONS. Oh your leotard is at the cleaners, you better have a large selection of ankle socks missy.

Your medical coverage includes ONLY seminal overdose and silicone bags. A minimum of a perky D-Cup is required throughout the term of your employment.

Your position entails making sure that we abide by our creed (listed below). If we burn more than 10 calories throughout the week, we are working overtime, ergo, you are not doing your job. In turn, heads will roll.

GV, Inc. Creed (only applicable to the highest position holders):

1. Never do anything. If you wait around long enough, someone else will do it.

2. Don't move. Moving is overrated.

3. Never run. Running is the worst thing you can do. I had to run once.. BIG mistake.

4. If something is not in your reach, you don't need it. Before you get up to get something across the room next time, think: Do you really want to get up and walk all the way there and all the way back to get it? Yeah, I know. I felt stupid for moving all those times.

5. Don't have an opinion. Opinions are thoughts, and thoughts are work.

6. Don't work. Working is for suckers. Be a CEO if you can, they never do anything.

7. If you have to move, fuss about it. Make it well known that you're pissed off because you have to move. Sigh a lot. Drag your feet and arch your back at 60 degrees (bad posture helps you to conform to the shapes of couches when you sit down, and it makes you look tired).

8. Sleep as much as you can. Contrary to common sense and popular belief, sleeping is very productive. People sometimes confuse sleeping for my job because I do so much of it.

9. Don't talk. Talking requires the movement of your jaw... way too much work.

10. If you have to work, do a half-assed job at it. Example: If you have to rake leaves, push them out into the road or into your neighbor's yard. If you have a riding lawn mower, run over them a few times until the pieces are small enough to hide in between blades of grass.

I have more rules, but this is taking more effort than I thought. I'll update this later... if I'm not too tired.

I spend hours a day sitting around on my ass.

[shlonger]

Originally posted by somegirl24

It is my honor to serve your every need and be at your beck and call. Please advise of the tasks you would like me to perform upon my initiation, I'd be happy to oblige.

Forever your servant

SomeGirl:bj:

triple post... this server sucks mods!!!! i keep trying to edit my post. it repeats itself, and i can't edit it. do something about this soon, or you will feel my wrath. NEENA!!!

[dogekid]

where is my soup???!!!