Jump to content
Clubplanet Nightlife Community
Sign in to follow this  
dgmodel

sipping vodka...

Recommended Posts

Sipping Vodka

This is just too funny - I still have tears in my eyes!! Finally, a chain letter that I don't mind...it's funny

>>>>>>A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could

>>>>>>hardly speak.

>>>>>>

>>>>>>After mass, he asked the Monsignor how he had done.

>>>>>>The Monsignor replied, "When I'm worried about getting

>>>>>>nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to

>>>>>>the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a

>>>>>>sip.

>>>>>>

>>>>>>So, the next Sunday, he took the Monsignor's advice.

>>>>>>At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and

>>>>>>took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon

>>>>>>his return to his office after mass, he found the

>>>>>>following note on the door.

>>>>>>

>>>>>>1. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

>>>>>>2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

>>>>>>3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

>>>>>>4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

>>>>>>5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

>>>>>>6. We do not refer to Jesus as the late J.C.

>>>>>>7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to

>>>>>>as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.

>>>>>>8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the crap out of

>>>>>>him.

>>>>>>9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his

>>>>>>donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

>>>>>>10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T".

>>>>>>11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he

>>>>>>said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body". He

>>>>>>did not say, "Eat Me".

>>>>>>12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the

>>>>>>cherry".

>>>>>>13. The recommended grace before a meal is not

>>>>>>...Rub-A-Dub-Dub, thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

>>>>>>14. Next Sunday there will be a Taffy Pulling Contest

>>>>>>at St. Peter's - Not a Peter Pulling Contest at St.

>>>>>>Taffy's.

-------------------- the Monsignor's advice.

>>>>>>At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and

>>>>>>took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon

>>>>>>his return to his office after mass, he found the

>>>>>>following note on the door.

>>>>>>

>>>>>>1. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

>>>>>>2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

>>>>>>3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

>>>>>>4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

>>>>>>5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

>>>>>>6. We do not refer to Jesus as the late J.C.

>>>>>>7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to

>>>>>>as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.

>>>>>>8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the crap out of

>>>>>>him.

>>>>>>9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his

>>>>>>donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

>>>>>>10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T".

>>>>>>11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he

>>>>>>said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body". He

>>>>>>did not say, "Eat Me".

>>>>>>12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the

>>>>>>cherry".

>>>>>>13. The recommended grace before a meal is not

>>>>>>...Rub-A-Dub-Dub, thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

>>>>>>14. Next Sunday there will be a Taffy Pulling Contest

>>>>>>at St. Peter's - Not a Peter Pulling Contest at St.

>>>>>>Taffy's.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×