everyone post their xmas lists....

[petp]

well since its always better to receive than to give, ive decided to make my own wish list for x-mas. i will only accept gifts from this list, all others will; a.) be returned for cash, b.) put up for auction on ebay, c.) will be given back to you as your bday gift in the future....or if its a really bad gift, d.) used to beat u over the head with and then thrown into the garbage. so let the festivities begin!!!!!

1.) VIAGRA!!!! heck, if bob dole can walk around with a chubby all day, i want to also!!!!

2.) PORN!!! me and my gal 'palm-ela' are always looking for new forms of entertainment. we prefer (though of course its not limited to)lesbians, midgets, minorities...the freakier, the better if u ask me!!!!

3.) SOCKS!!!! as some of you might be aware, im not exactly ron jeremy in the manhood department, so socks are useful to impress the ladies when i stuff my pants with them.

4.) BOOZE!!! me and the captain .... friends for life!!!

5.) kiehl's hair products. contrary to what some of my friends might say, there is no love-juice in kiehls, and if it there is, so whthough of course its not limited to)lesbians, midgets, minorities...the freakier, the better if u ask me!!!!

3.) SOCKS!!!! as some of you might be aware, im not exactly ron jeremy in the manhood department, so socks are useful to impress the ladies when i stuff my pants with them.

4.) BOOZE!!! me and the captain .... friends for life!!!

5.) kiehl's hair products. contrary to what some of my friends might say, there is no love-juice in kiehls, and if it there is, so whthough of course its not limited to)lesbians, midgets, minorities...the freakier, the better if u ask me!!!!

3.) SOCKS!!!! as some of you might be aware, im not exactly ron jeremy in the manhood department, so socks are useful to impress the ladies when i stuff my pants with them.

4.) BOOZE!!! me and the captain .... friends for life!!!

5.) kiehl's hair products. contrary to what some of my friends might say, there is no love-juice in kiehls, and if it there is, so what, the stuff rocks and the ladies love my hair.

6.) funny money to a strip club. does this really need to be explained?!??!!? booze, chicks, music....what else do i need in my life?!?!??!

7.) speaking of.....LADIES. notice its plural, dont worry theres plenty of me to go around. once again, if u have to ask what type of ladies interest me, then you really dont know me. i digress, implants, hotties who have a tight bootie i can bounce quarters off of (hey, its a hobby of mine...its a nice way to kill some time on a rainy sunday afternoon!!!!) and of course, someone who can suck a softball thru a garden hose!!!!!

on an aside, due to an overwhelming response last year, i will be continuing my holiday tradition of putting mistletoe on my beltbuckle this year.

let the festivities begin!!!