sassa Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 I always seem to meet guys who have to tell me they love me first......how do you turn someone down nicely after they say that to you....is there even a nice way to do it...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 . . . no, there isn't . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted December 17 Author Report Share Posted December 17 Originally posted by phuturephunk . . . no, there isn't . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 Originally posted by sassa . . . I wish I could say otherwize, but think about it for a sec . . No matter how nice you wanna be, you're still telling the person that they're emotions are meaningless because it can never be . . Thats gonna hurt no matter how its sliced . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeeker Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 there's a nice way to do it...it's just not going to be pleasant for the guy. But honesty is obviously key. Good luck with that. I don't envy you your situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phatman Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 Originally posted by phuturephunk . . . I wish I could say otherwize, but think about it for a sec . . No matter how nice you wanna be, you're still telling the person that they're emotions are meaningless because it can never be . . Thats gonna hurt no matter how its sliced . . . true...althought i think misdirected might be a better phrase than meaningless...for them there is meaning whether it be reciprocated or not...but it takes a true gentleman and mature adult to deal with a woman's honesty in such matters...i dont think pain is the issue so much as methodology...you dont want to be too slow about it, but you dont want to come across as a cold bitch...a lot of men will confuse honesty with bitchiness...and vice verca for men...as marko said on another post, if you can pull emotion out of what is being said and/or done to you, you might have a clearer picture of what is going on... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 . . I still say its meaningless . . Why exert the energy? . . you know? . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 like phonk said.. there is no way to do it nicely... cuz its gonna hurt no matter what... but if hes a mature individual, hopefully he will respect ur honesty... that will make this a lot easier for the both of u. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phatman Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 Originally posted by phuturephunk . . I still say its meaningless . . Why exert the energy? . . you know? . . after the fact, yes...but you develop and build on premise and desire at the beginning...especially people that get attached lickedy split....they may not know any better...if they did, they wouldnt exert the energy off the bat...not everyone knows how to pace themselves...or has been through enough pain to know better...i just think meaningless strips them of something that's all...perhaps i think the word strips them of validity and that's not necassarily true..eh...i'm babbling... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 Originally posted by phatman after the fact, yes...but you develop and build on premise and desire at the beginning...especially people that get attached lickedy split....they may not know any better...if they did, they wouldnt exert the energy off the bat...not everyone knows how to pace themselves...or has been through enough pain to know better...i just think meaningless strips them of something that's all...perhaps i think the word strips them of validity and that's not necassarily true..eh...i'm babbling... . . . You've just defined 'weakness' for the congregation . . People like that are laughable as human beings . . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phatman Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 Originally posted by phuturephunk . . . You've just defined 'weakness' for the congregation . . People like that are laughable as human beings . . . . . now youre just being mean... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 Originally posted by phatman now youre just being mean... . . Mean or not mean, you know I'm right . . To show one's emotional cards when the object they're directed at has no care for said emotions is meaningless . .Its the ultimate act of LOSING . . .. . The less you show emotion . . The less you feel really . . . the better you are to cope with this world . . . One way you can attain that goal is not falling for people that quite obviously won't reciprocate . . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phatman Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 welcome to club jaded...where you, tasty, and myself work the door...i was going to further this but i am sick and i need to go to bed....i hear you and i feel you...all i can say is that at some point, we are all weak...i know i was... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 Originally posted by sassa I always seem to meet guys who have to tell me they love me first......how do you turn someone down nicely after they say that to you....is there even a nice way to do it...? from my experience quickly, is the best way to do it... and by all means do not... i repeat... DO NOT say " lets be friends" or "lets still be friends" or anything along those lines... cause its just bullshit... quick and painless... thats the best way... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintron Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 Originally posted by phatman welcome to club jaded...where you, tasty, and myself work the door... i'm on the decks.as for breaking it easy to someone, it's hard. If you patronize them and soften the message, then you do them injustice because you're probably not giving them the message 100%. Just be straightforward and honest. If the other person is worth anything to you, they'll understand that you care and you're giving it to them straight. That''s the most anybody could ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattm2o Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 Originally posted by phuturephunk . . . no, there isn't . . . Agreed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted December 17 Report Share Posted December 17 Either way you are going to look lke the bad guy due to the fact the feelings aren't mutual...As long as you don't string him along & you tell him ASAP your not feeling the same way nicely...There's no room for hard feelings & you can walk away knowing you did the right thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted December 18 Author Report Share Posted December 18 Originally posted by dgmodel from my experience quickly, is the best way to do it... and by all means do not... i repeat... DO NOT say " lets be friends" or "lets still be friends" or anything along those lines... cause its just bullshit... quick and painless... thats the best way... oops. well, i did ask if we could be just friends. he said we could but i'd have to know that he loves me....wtf... so apparently we are NOT going to keep in contact....fucking guys! whyyyyyyyy do they have to be all emotional and tell you these things always at the wrong time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dknybabe2929 Posted December 18 Report Share Posted December 18 I dont think there is ever a nice way to let someone down IMO...but not everything in life is easy ya know?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted December 18 Report Share Posted December 18 Come to think of it, this was somebody you shared intimate moments with !Nothin for nothin, you shared some private agendas...how do you you dismiss that?..you cant...even if you pull it off..you are a scumbag in his/her books anywayz....deal with it. Chances are, somebody else came into the pic, and you let 'us' down. Either way look at it, you are at the moment, the most undesireable being alive....deal with it.....no "lettin one down gently"....."Live by what you preach, or prepare to die by what you breach" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted December 18 Report Share Posted December 18 just cut it off.. it is doomed anyway. if you dont wanna be with him, you will only be "friends" until one of you meets someone else, then you will not make time for eachother. tell him you do appreciate his company but his feelings are not mutual & hopefully u can remain at your current status (that or nothing) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted December 18 Report Share Posted December 18 Originally posted by sassa fucking guys! whyyyyyyyy do they have to be all emotional and tell you these things always at the wrong time! good timing is a very rare trait/quality in most men... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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