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Possible farewell from t0nythelover(my homeless holiday

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well since last week i been on the street again. no more ikea land for me. during an argument with my gf (which she was at fault for) the day b4 i had 2 finals her bro storms in the room and is all angry and shit. im sitting on the couch and shes sitting on the bed and he runs up to me and starts screaming in my face at the top of his lungs calling me a peice of shit. i was already pissed at my gf and told him to fuck off. long story short, i get kicked out, her fam wants her to stay, she wants to go with me, and i want both of them to get their asses kicked. he left to go to a hotel for the night, next morning writes an apology that said i need to make "adult decisions" and take responsiblity. meanwhile im 20 and have been living on my own since i was 18, my gf got turned me into a pothead, her and her cuzin cost me my job, and now finals week im homeless. the apology said that i turned the house into an emotional slum. i stay away from him and the fam when they are in town. his ex lived in the house for 6 months after they broke up and she fucked some dude in his bed. no one kicked her out, but then again she was a rich fuck just like them. my holiday gift was learning that these fucks are completely harmless. my gf's bro said his parents want me out, meanwhile in november her mom was here and was cool, even wanted me to come to diner with her and my gf. im all fucked up now, had a glass smashed on my face, my knuckles are bleeding from fighting and im pissed. right now the only thing keeping me from killing all of them is alcohol and weed and i just ran out of both. well my gfs bro went to pick up his girly from the airport, i think im gonna scream at him in front of his girl and see how he likes it, then im gonna kill everyone that lives here. either that or ill somehow get fucked up passout and wakeup to live the cylcle for one more day. no fam for the holidays, no ties to society, no job, no home, no money, hate is all i have. god i really love everyone on cp and if i cant come back ill miss all of you. just wanted to say goodbye cuz i dont know when ill be online again (if im not in prision)

"the double grief of lost bliss is to recall its happy hour in pain"-dantes inferno

farewell from t0nythelover

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Six feet under

In my grave

Lying wired and shut and quiet in my grave

Leave me here

Leave me here to waste here

So young and here I am again

Talking to myself

A tv blares

Oh man

Oh how I wish I didn't smoke

Or drink to reason with my head

But sometimes this thick confusion

Grows until I cannot bear it at all

Needle to the vein

Needle to the vein

Take this needle from my vein my friend,

I said

listen, i'm not one for motivational speaches, or uplifting sentiments... but think about this... step back for a sec, and look at whats best for you... you kill em... you end up in jail... whats the point... thats probably the only way life could get worse.. say your piece, and split... find a new girl, find a new place, and try and keep your head above water...

always easier said than done, but sometimes, all you can do is try and keep oxygen in your lungs... and try not to let the undertow take you under the surface...

hope you get to read this, and i hope you get shit straightened out... best on luck, man.

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