I Just Broke Up With My Girlfriend - I'm Heartbroken -

[kb8]

I just broke up with my girlfriend last night (Christmas night). We were going out for one year, and it's really not possible to sum up the entire relationship in one post.

She's 26, and she was looking for someone to marry. I'm 23 and I expressed to her that I don't want to get married anytime soon.

Anyway, she wanted to be with me New Year's Eve, and I told her I couldn't because I had obligations with my family. I know that a couple SHOULD spend New Year's Eve together, but I cannot disrespect my parents (at least not after a year of a relationship).

She's beautiful, sweet, smart, intelligent, cooks wonderfully, and is very down-to-earth and kick-back, which I love. We have a million things in common.

However, we come from two different cultures and two different religions. In her point of view, none of that should matter. I agree with that, but in reality, it does play a pretty significant role in a relationship.

I don't think I could have ended up marrying her, although I enjoyed her company immensely. I can't have my cake and eat it too though.

It would be unfair of me to hold on to her, have fun with her, be very loving with her, yet know in my heart that I wouldn't be able to marry her *knowing* that she wants marriage (in a year or two).

I'm just really sad now. It was my first relationship, and I ended it. I feel like a traitor. She cried a lot (me too), and she wished me the best. She said that no other girl could love me as much as she loved me. I told her the same. I treated her like a princess (she was one). I spent well over $5000 on her in one year in clothes, jewelry, sporting events, kitchen stuff, little things here and there, fresh flowers every week, and so on. I know that I was very kind to her.

So that's it guys. One year, one beautiful relationship, and I think it had to have ended. It's not fair of me to continue something knowing that it will not work out in the end. I love her and I will always love her.

I think that's why I'm hurting so much.

[sassa]

sorry to hear that, dude...

[scaredgirl]

im sorry to hear that

i dont understand why if u love her that much u cant think of marrie her maybe one day im not saying now but maybe two 3 year or maybe later ....

[ou812]

That's quite a long winded and intimate 1st post...........

[kb8]

It's not so much the religion that's the issue. I really don't care about our differences in religion (Christian/Jewish).

It's the cultural differences and how I'd disappoint my parents. I mean, they want my happiness, and my happiness comes from their happiness, as weird as that sounds.

[Guest xfactor834]

Hey Scaredgirl, what's up. Remember me?

[dknybabe2929]

Im sorry to hear that...jsut remember that whatever is meant to be will find a way and that sometimes doors shut beause better ones are getting ready to open

[nycchic24]

tis the season for breakups

[erica127]

i am kinda in a similar situation...my ex & i are talkin again because the timing was off a year ago..i'm a christian & he's jewish & russian & his mother hated me at first...him & i personally didn't care because he was happy & his father was also....his mother constantly told him that he couldn't marry me & he said we were't thinkin about marriage now, but in the future who cares? she finally started to like me towards the end..but only your happiness should matter, NOT anyone else's..you are with them the rest of your life, not your family (if you think about marriage)..i am talkin from my own experience so don't take it offensively..i need to take my own advice & that's hard to do

[underwater]

take my advice and go spread your ...you have plenty of time to settle down and find the right person....you don't want to guess that maybe this might work out if we get married....you will be a lot more sure of yourself when the right one comes along....

[Bebby]

wow that is really sad.. Im sorry to hear that.. You never know, maybe down the road your opinion on things will change or maybe hers as well and things will work out between you two. Good luck to you!

[rendezvous23]

I feel your pain, Im trying to rid my gf what she has been doing to me for the last 7 months. I thought she was perfect for me till a few months came by. She was jealous like fuck man. I couldnt handle it, all the abuse and the talking she did to me... she wanted me to dump my girl friends.. that was pure wrong, she even went to lengths to have her best friend to make a move on me just to see how I would react. Couple months later I told her I was through with her BS'in and I walked out on her, she cried and cried.. called me over and over.. stalk the shit out of me. After a few weeks went by, last 2 weeks she dated my best friend, I was furious! Cause you cant touch your man's friend, thats like betrayal there. It didnt work out after a few days supposedly and they went their separate ways, I wanted nothing to do with both of them.. haha, until then I started dating her best friend and shes fucking pissed at me.. I have been fucking her day and night for the last few days already and does it feel good? Hell yeah.. do I feel terrible about it? Fuck no. This girl is in the clubbing scene just like me.. Relationships gave nothing back to me but shit, whats swinging night to night having variety any different?

Point is, like what Erica said, your happiness matters most.. Dont get pussy whipped into a relationship.. been there done that.

[atomicapples]

i think she wanted you cuz of your passport

[bobadrinker]

Originally posted by kb8

It's not so much the religion that's the issue. I really don't care about our differences in religion (Christian/Jewish).

It's the cultural differences and how I'd disappoint my parents. I mean, they want my happiness, and my happiness comes from their happiness, as weird as that sounds.

I went through similar shit with a girl. Almost went down the marriage path, and like you I decided to dissolve it. What I've come to learn is that although your parents will disapprove/ disappoint, eventually they do want you to be happy. It may take some adjustment, but over time I'm sure parents will accept your girl for who she is. You can't live your life for someone else, no matter how well your intentions are...But You're still young. You'll meet other girls...

[dgmodel]

Originally posted by kb8

I just broke up with my girlfriend last night (Christmas night). We were going out for one year, and it's really not possible to sum up the entire relationship in one post.

She's 26, and she was looking for someone to marry. I'm 23 and I expressed to her that I don't want to get married anytime soon.

Anyway, she wanted to be with me New Year's Eve, and I told her I couldn't because I had obligations with my family. I know that a couple SHOULD spend New Year's Eve together, but I cannot disrespect my parents (at least not after a year of a relationship).

She's beautiful, sweet, smart, intelligent, cooks wonderfully, and is very down-to-earth and kick-back, which I love. We have a million things in common.

However, we come from two different cultures and two different religions. In her point of view, none of that should matter. I agree with that, but in reality, it does play a pretty significant role in a relationship.

I don't think I could have ended up marrying her, although I enjoyed her company immensely. I can't have my cake and eat it too though.

It would be unfair of me to hold on to her, have fun with her, be very loving with her, yet know in my heart that I wouldn't be able to marry her *knowing* that she wants marriage (in a year or two).

I'm just really sad now. It was my first relationship, and I ended it. I feel like a traitor. She cried a lot (me too), and she wished me the best. She said that no other girl could love me as much as she loved me. I told her the same. I treated her like a princess (she was one). I spent well over $5000 on her in one year in clothes, jewelry, sporting events, kitchen stuff, little things here and there, fresh flowers every week, and so on. I know that I was very kind to her.

So that's it guys. One year, one beautiful relationship, and I think it had to have ended. It's not fair of me to continue something knowing that it will not work out in the end. I love her and I will always love her.

I think that's why I'm hurting so much.

i can sit here and write you a whole long pseudo philosophical reply, which youll prolly say "wtf does this clown know anyway" and ignore it, or read it and as quickly as you read it itll be forgotten... (believe me i can relate to your situation 40%, and i say 40% only because no two ppl are alike, no two relationships are like and not two breakups are ever alike... but the meat and potatos of it all stay the same no matter what relationship)so bottom line is this... im going to ask you one question...<keep in mind this is regardless of the other night> WHO ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY AND SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH??? A. your mother father and family? or B. Princess???

(ill be here waiting for the answer...)

[koky]

Originally posted by dgmodel

i can sit here and write you a whole long pseudo philosophical reply, which youll prolly say "wtf does this clown know anyway" and ignore it, or read it and as quickly as you read it itll be forgotten... (believe me i can relate to your situation 40%, and i say 40% only because no two ppl are alike, no two relationships are like and not two breakups are ever alike... but the meat and potatos of it all stay the same no matter what relationship)so bottom line is this... im going to ask you one question...<keep in mind this is regardless of the other night> WHO ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY AND SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH??? A. your mother father and family? or B. Princess???

(ill be here waiting for the answer...)

damn !! this was a sad story for kb8 to tell..

i havent been on the sex board for awhile & almost forgot how kool & helpfull MOST of you guys can be .. its proven in this thread .. so i guess kb8 came to the right place to share his sorrow ..

& to harry pot ! ooooooops ! i mean djmodel we want you to write your long story :D & kb8 , listen (or read)

glad to be back

[kb8]

Thanks for the advice dgmodel,

It's true that I'm not gonna marry my parents/family (that's a great way to put it too, honestly), but then again, do I want my parents to like my girlfriend (future wife) naturally, or do I want my parents to like her in a forced manner?

Because if I say "hey you know what mom and dad, i respect you and i love you, but i love this girl and i want to be with her forever....."............ my parents aren't gonna abandon me. But they'd be forced to accept my decision since I'm giving them no other choice.

You also brought up a great point that no two relationships/break ups are the same, and no identical advice can be given, even for similar situations.

I hear what you guys are saying, and I'm not the kinda guy to be like "hell yeah, i'm single...off to the whore house...or let me bang her friends". I still care for her and I wanna call her, but we broke up on Christmas night, and we haven't talked since.

I'm just waiting for a little bit...maybe let the new year pass for a week or two...

What's meant to be is definitely meant to be.

[acura]

Originally posted by kb8

She said that no other girl could love me as much as she loved me. I told her the same. I treated her like a princess (she was one).

You feel this way now because it was your first serious relationship;everyone feels the same way when they are in that position.

Time heals and life will go on. You seem like a good guy, things will work out for you one day

[magellanmax]

Originally posted by kb8

I just broke up with my girlfriend last night (Christmas night). We were going out for one year, and it's really not possible to sum up the entire relationship in one post.

She's 26, and she was looking for someone to marry. I'm 23 and I expressed to her that I don't want to get married anytime soon.

Anyway, she wanted to be with me New Year's Eve, and I told her I couldn't because I had obligations with my family. I know that a couple SHOULD spend New Year's Eve together, but I cannot disrespect my parents (at least not after a year of a relationship).

She's beautiful, sweet, smart, intelligent, cooks wonderfully, and is very down-to-earth and kick-back, which I love. We have a million things in common.................................

I think that's why I'm hurting so much.

I just read this very interesting post and I felt the need to put in my 2 cents...bear with me......

First off, how come you two had been together for a year and you had to wait till the last minute to tell her you couldnt be together for new years? You have a family engagement....oh pah......lease !!! A guy to a guy, nothing is more of a wet blanket to a gal than a guy acting like a mommas boy. Why didnt you offer to take her along?....Family cant stand her? Either way, you could have made it happen if you wanted to, you just choked under family pressure. Is there something else you 'forgot' to mention....like...uuuummmm....peer pressure? I know as a guy, you must have taken alot of flak for dating an older gal. But nothing for nothing, you may have been told that there is a gal 'better suited' for you and you took that as gospel and you hit the ground running. Some day down the road you may come to a sickly realization that she might have been the best thing that ever happened to you and it will be too late for anything. Besides, fate has a cruel way of reminding one of their mishaps.

But I guess you know your opportunities and limitations, pray you didnt blow something good. Happy hunting kiddo..

__________________________________

Then Again.....

just ma opinion....dont make it rite

[LatinaZee]

Sad as it is - I think the most messed up thing to do is to break up with someone right before the holidays.....why couldnt it be done way before so at least she had a chance to "get herself together" and find friends to be there for her....

A somewhat similiar situation just happened to me....I had asked this person if he wanted to be with me for New Years and he said yes (this was last week) just to be told on the phone 3 days ago that he "didnt feel THAT way about me"..???? oh well what can you do.....but RIGHT before New Years?! Even though it really bothered me, I could understand - a holiday is shared with people you love and love you.......

He is and always will be my friend..to bad it was tainted alittle.