sassa Posted January 17 Report Share Posted January 17 Subject: Top 8 Morons for 2002 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhapsit's not Walter who's lacking intelligence. 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up." 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts. 4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. 5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in thel ineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!" 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?? A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!" 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!! In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. 8. THE GRAND FINALE (I LOVE THIS ONE!!!) Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE .... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppanils Posted January 17 Report Share Posted January 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
incredulous Posted January 17 Report Share Posted January 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vixenfoxxy Posted January 17 Report Share Posted January 17 LMAO @ the one about the boat -It never fails to amaze me what assholes who happened to make an extra [enter amount here] do when they buy a boat and have no clue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tunnelbandit Posted January 17 Report Share Posted January 17 Originally posted by vixenfoxxy LMAO @ the one about the boat -It never fails to amaze me what assholes who happened to make an extra [enter amount here] do when they buy a boat and have no clue All hail the queen of the docks... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codica3 Posted January 17 Report Share Posted January 17 Originally posted by sassa 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up." LOL.. this one is my favorite.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavkrap Posted January 17 Report Share Posted January 17 i like this one (what a fool). . . but they're all funny 5. DID I SAY THAT???Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robberysuspect who just couldn't control himself during alineup. When detectives asked each man in thel ineupto repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'llshoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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