*Showers*

[trancedkitten]

How to Shower Like a Woman

**************************

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry

hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see

husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental

note to do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,

long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with

43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner

enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10

minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake

body wash.

10. Complain because your husband had been eating your

ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

11. Rinse conditioner off hair.

12. Shave armpits and legs.

13. Turn off shower.

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold

spots with Tilex.

15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small

country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

16. Check entire body for zits, tweeze unwanted hairs.

17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel

on head.

18. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed

areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

************************

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and

leave them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the

way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the

size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face.

6. Wash your armpits.

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them

off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how

loud they sound in the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding

area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on

the soap.

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Taste your wife's ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

13. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

14. Pee.

15. Rinse off and get out of shower.

16. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because

curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

17. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

18. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and

fan on.

19. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you

pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-

woo' sound again.

20. Throw wet towel on bed.

[incredulous]

:laugh: