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1. Tea bag - As you are sitting on a girl's face, repeatedly dip your

> > scrotum in and out of her mouth, similar to a tea bag in a cup of hot

> > water. An old favorite.

> >

> > 2. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you shit on her chest.

> > (a.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)

> >

> > 3. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then

> > jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

> >

> > 4. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you

> > cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of

> > the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work

correctly,

> > the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.

> >

> > 5. Golden Shower - Any form of peeing on a girl. (aka: watersports)

> >

> > 6. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage

area

> > of a girl, it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.

> >

> > 7. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room o! f a nasty skank

> > and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that

> > your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore, you must gnaw off your own

arm

> > to get out of this situation. Can be very painful.

> >

> > 8. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and

> > you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It

should

> > leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.

> >

> > 9. The Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back

and

> > you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself

> > without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then to flap your arms

> > and let out a long, shrieking howl. Strictly a class move.

> >

> > 10. Double Fishhook - From the doggy-style position, you hook your pinky

> > fingers in her mouth and pull back to achieve deeper penetration.

> >

> > 11. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start

ramming

> > her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The ! force of the wall

> > should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in

penile

> > sensitivity.

> >

> > 12. Dog in a Bathtub - This is the proper name for when you attempt to

> > insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be

just

> > as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

> >

> > 13. The Bronco - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going

> > doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto

> > her tits as tightly as possible and yell another girl's name. This gives

> > you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.

> >

> > 14. Pink Glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not

wet

> > enough. When you pull out to give her the money, the inside of her twat

> > sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.

> >

> > 15. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat

> > your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible

> > before releasing, spewing like a ven! erable geyser all over her face,

> > neck and tits. (Better in her bed)

> >

> > 16. New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go

> > down on her, you puke on her box. Happy trails!

> >

> > 17. Dirty Sanchez - While banging a girl doggy style, quickly stick 2

> > fingers deep into her starfish, then reach around and wipe the residue

on

> > her upper lip, providing her a mustache.

> >

> > 18. Western Grip - When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your

> > thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use;

> > hence, western.

> >

> > 19. The Blumpkin - You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It

> > involves having her suck you off while you're on the shitter.

> >

> > 20. The Bismark - Another one involving oral sex. Right before you are

> > about to spew, pull out and shoot all over her face. Follow that with a

> > punch and smear the blood and jism together.

> >

> > 21. Jelly Doughnut - A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to do is

> > punch her in the ! nose while you are getting head.

> >

> > 22. Woody Woodpecker - While a chick is sucking on your balls,

repeatedly

> > tap the head of your cock on her forehead.

> >

> > 23. Tossing salad - Well known by now. A prison act where one person is

> > forced to chow starfish with the help of whatever condiments are

> > available, i.e. Jello, jism, etc

> >

> > 24. The Fish Eye - Working from behind, you shove your finger in her

> > pooper. Thereupon, she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see

> > what the hell you are doing.

> >

> > 25. Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick, lapping away, and you discover

> > that it's her time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When

the

> > whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.

> >

> > 26. The Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty Zena who has a

mane

> > between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur

ball

> > gets lodged in your throat. You punch her.

> >

> > 27. The Chili Dog - You take a dump on the g! irl's chest and then titty

> > fuck her.

> >

> > 28. Gaylord Perry - Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is

for

> > wimps. Make this famous knuckle-ball pitcher proud and use multiple

digits

> > on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of 2 knuckles required (either on

one

> > finger or on multiple).

> >

> > 29. The Rear Admiral - An absolute blast. When getting a chick from

behind

> > (with both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab onto

> > anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside

so

> > that the momentum pushes her forward. The goal is to push her into a

wall

> > or table, or have her trip and fall on her face. You attain the status

of

> > Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into

> > anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.

> >

> > 30. Glass Bottom Boat - Putting saran wrap over the skank's face and

> > taking a dump.

> >

> > 31. Ray Bans - Put your nuts over her eye sockets while getting head.

> > You're can is on her forehead! . Yes, it may be anatomically impossible,

> > but it is definitely worth a try.

> >

> > 32. The Snowmobile - When plugging a girl while she's on all fours,

reach

> > around and sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.

> >

> > 33. The Dutch Oven - Also well known. Whenever you fart while humping,

> > pull the covers over her head. Don't let her out until all movement

> > ceases.

> >

> > 34. Smoking Pole - Self Explanatory. Don't use fire.

> >

> > 35. Rusty Trombone - Getting the reacharound while getting your salad

> > tossed. Also known as milking the prostate.

> >

> > 36. Turkey Shoot - When you're coming, come on her face and let it drip

> > off her chin so it looks like that red shit on the turkey's chin.

> >

> > 37. Stovepiping - Taking it in the Tush.

> >

> > 38. Rusty Anchor - After a healthy term of the Stovepiping, the

recipient

> > gets to enjoy a good fudgesicle.

> >

> > 39. Sandpiper - A stovepiping on the local beach, desert, or playground

> > sandbox. Also known as the Sandblast.

> >

> > 40! . Lucky Pierre - the middle man in a three way buttfuck. Also known

as

> > the french sandwich.

> >

> >

> > 41.Divortex- A mystical place into which old friends are sucked when a

> > married couple splits up.

> >

> > 42.Blump- To suck someone's dick while they are taking a dump.

> >

> > 43.Bustard- A very rude bus driver.

> >

> > 44.Cold Faithful- Blowing your visibly-steaming load outside in the

> > winter-time, like when you get your cock sucked on a ski-lift.

> >

> > 45.Grand pappy smash- To beat your meat so hardcore that it starts to

> > chafe and bleed.

> >

> > 46.Esplanade- To attempt an explanation while drunk.

> >

> > 47.Flatulence- The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run

> > over by a steamroller.

> >

> > 48.Butt Rodeo- When you're going at it with a girl, you flip her over

real

> > fast, start ramming her in the ass and yell as loud as possible "BUTT

> > RODEO!" You then see how long you can ride her till she tosses ya off!

> >

> > 49.Bargoyle- The hideous old hair-spray hag! who seems to live at your

> > local watering hole. She usually smokes endlessly, spends hundreds of

> > dollars a night on video-poker, and makes sexually threatening comments

to

> > frightened college freshmen.

> >

> > 50.Pasteurize- Once you get her hairy bush pasteurize, you got it

licked!

> >

> > 51.Beerelevant- A point which does not seem to be particularly

important,

> > given enough beer

> >

> > 52.Mangry- Describing the anger of women who are angry at men,

> > specifically. "She's such a bitch, she's just plain mangry."

> >

> > 53.Clitourist- A man who won't stop and ask for directions in bed. ie:

> > "Because of his fouled foreplay, Suzy realized that her new boyfriend

was

> > no experienced bedroom traveler, but merely a clitourist."

> >

> > 54.Stuffucking- The act of "stuffing in" your limp, helpless member in

> > hopes of getting it up. Potential causes: you're too drunk or she's too

> > ugly. (see also; Fugly)

> >

> > 55.Antlers- Wide, flat, flapjack titties that come to a sharp point at

the

> > nipple! s.

> >

> > 56.The Flying Camel- A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back

and

> > you are hammering her on your knees, you very carefully move forward and

> > prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still

> > inserted in her vertical seafood taco. You then proceed to flap your

arms

> > and let out a long shrieking howl, much like a flying camel. Strictly a

> > classy move.

> >

> > 57.The Flaming Amazon- This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there.

When

> > you're screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, pull out and

> > quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then

> > extinguish the flames with your jizz!

> >

> > 58.The Screwnicorn -When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead

> > and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

> >

> > 59.Split pissonality -When you're taking a leak and you get two streams

> > out of the one hole!

> >

> > 60.A Short in the Cord- A "code" phrase used by the common man to refer

to

> > Testicular Tendon Tangle S! yndrome. Ex. "Oh fuck! My nuts are killing

> > me... I think I've got a short in the cord."

> >

> > 61.Old Jism Trail -The stream of semen oozing down the chin and chest of

> > someone who has just finished fellating a senior citizen.

> >

> > 62.Abdicate -To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

> >

> > 63.Lymph -To walk with a lisp.

> >

> > 64.Anal Boot- An anal boot is when you take a pitcher of beer, everyone

> > spits in it, someone stirs it with their cock and then the mixture is

> > poured through the crack of a man ass into the waiting mouth of the

loser

> > of a bet or drinking game.

> >

> > 65.Australian Death Grip- The act of grabbing a woman by the

> > haunches/crotch and staring deeply into her eyes until you're slapped or

> > kissed. A recommended tactic for very crowded bars. Another great

> > opportunity for wagering among friends.

> >

> > 66.Fumilingus -When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on a woman and

> > she farts directly in his/her face.

> >

> > 67.Intoxicourse- Having sexua! l intercourse whilst piss-drunk.

> >

> > 68.Valsalva -The act of pinching shut (with thumb and forefinger) a

> > woman's nose while receiving fellatio; most effective when employed just

> > prior to the release point due to the gag reflex and ensuing swallow

that

> > the woman is forced to do to continue breathing. A great first date

ploy,

> > as it sets the stage for what the rules of engagement will be going

> > forward.

> >

> > 69.Insta-gasm -Pre-mature ejaculation at the sight of a beautiful woman.

> > ie: "She was so fine, I had an insta-gasm before I could get her clothes

> > off!"

> >

> > 70.Manual Deconstipation -This is where you get out the hand cream and

go

> > in manually for the hammerhead by breaking it into smaller chunks and

> > pulling it out a piece at a time.

> >

> > 71.Post Poodum Syndrome -The feeling of depression felt after successful

> > removal of a hammerhead. The excitement has passed, and you must now

find

> > something else to occupy your time.

> >

> > 72.The Homolic Maneuver -Using your pen! is to dislodge an object

blocking

> > a choking victim's windpipe.

> >

> > 73.Pegging - having a female take you in the rear with a strap on.

> >

> > 74. The UnderDog - after a hard session at the gym, your armpit muscle

> > begins to twitch; thus giving you the ability to jerk a guy off with

your

> > armpit muscle.

> >

> > 75. The Twinkler - when you are 69ing a girl and you shove your dick

into

> > mouth hard, and you watch her a-hole "twinkle" as she gags.

> >

> > 76. Angry dragon - This involves the girl giving the guy head and as he

is

> > about to cum slapping the girl on the back of the head causing the cum

to

> > come out her nose. Great care should be used to not slap her mouth shut.

> >

> > 77. Tony Danza - a takeoff of the donkey punch is called the Tony Danza.

> > When you are about to cum while doing a girl from behind, you say "who's

> > the boss?" and stick it in her ass. Before she says anything you shout

> > "TONY DANZA!" and punch her in the back of the head.

> >

> > 78. Alaskan firedragon - an! other good take off is one of the angry

> > dragon that is called the alaskan firedragon. When a girl is giving you

a

> > blowjob, cum in her mouth unexpectedly and plug up her mouth at the same

> > time. Then whisper in her ear "i have syphilis" so she spews it out her

> > nose.

> >

> > 79. The Walrus - when she's giving u a blowjob and u cum in her mouth

> > unexpectadly, cover up her mouth and punch her in the stomach.

> >

> > 80. The Fat Lip - If you get poison ivy and finger a girl, her labia

lips

> > will swell. A la, the fat lip.

> >

> > 81. Sleeping Bag - If you're going down on a really fat girl, you pull

her

> > enormous stomach roll of fat over your head.

> >

> > 82. Hummer Bird - when a girl is giving a guy a hummer, and he's

enjoying

> > it, she bites on his bird.

> >

> > 83. Bloody Mary - when a drunk guy is going down on a girl and without

> > even realizing it after he's done, he realizes Mary was very Bloody

> >

> > 84. The Houdini - this maneuver is accomplished while going at it doggy

> > style. A! s you feel you are about to cum, you pull out and spit on the

> > small of her back (making her think you've finished...). It's at the

point

> > when she turns around when *BAM!* You bust your load in her face (in the

> > eye if you've got proper aiming techniques down.) Also known as the Doug

> > Hennings and the David Copperfield.

> >

> > 85. Upperdecking - This one takes practice. This maneuver requires a

> > toilet with a tank above it, like the ones in most homes. Instead of

> > crapping in the bowl, you shit in the tank (i.e. upperdecking). Now

don't

> > flush. When the following victim flushes, the rancid waste fills the

bowl.

> > If you play your cards right, it may ferment

> >

> > 86. Journey into darkness - This is the most disturbing of all. It

entails

> > shitting into another person's asshole. Not for beginners.

> >

> > 87. Rocky Balboa - dont shower for 2 weeks, then diarrhea down her

throat

> > at any point during sexual contact.

> >

> > 88. Rocky Balboa Title Punch - same as the Rocky Balboa, but in ! that

> > non-showering 2 weeks all you eat is corn.

> >

> > I don't usually do this, but I have to give credit to Sascha and Zach

for

> > the next 2. I'm only doing this because they are my bosses kids...

> >

> > 89. The McDonald's Quick Draw - Get your girlfriend to talk dirty into

the

> > intercom, making the order guy start to beat off. Then while pulling up

to

> > the window, have her give you falatio till you are about to blow your

> > beefy chunk-load. Upon pulling up to the window, tell your girl friend

to

> > yell "Draw!". Then on "three", both you and the guy blow your loads

either

> > on her or eachother.

> >

> > 90. Uncle Jemima - the typical dirty chef at your local Denny's or other

> > low-class food establishment who occasionally becomes disgruntled, and

> > takes out his frustration on your meal, via "the ass wipe" or the

"French

> > Toast Strut" seen in Road Trip.

> >

> > 91. Airtight - this is where a girl has a cock in each of her three

holes,

> > hence, airtight.

> >

> > 92. The Throne of Lightning - ! This is done by fucking a girl while you

> > shit in a toilet. When you're going to blow your load, turn her over and

> > dunk her head in the toilet, while she's bobbing for your turd plummet a

> > river of semen in her ass. Not to be confused with "Ride the Lightning,"

a

> > Metallica album

> >

> > 93. Abe Lincoln - You're getting a girl up the ass and give her a swift

> > donkey punch to the back of her head, knocking her unconscious. You then

> > turn her around and jerk off and blow your load all over her face. Then

> > you shave her beaver and take the clippings and spread it where you

jizzed

> > on her, making a beard that looks like good ol Honest Abe's.

> >

> > 94. Thanksgiving - Just like the holiday, Thanksgiving is when you do a

> > girl and then she puts her two big butt cheeks on your face like holiday

> > hams. An overcooked thanksgiving is similar to this but instead of just

> > putting the cheeks on your head she farts on it too.

> >

> > 95. Emeril - When your'e doing a chick doggy style (either hole) a! nd

you

> > pull out, cum in your hand and then while you throw it on her back you

> > yell "BAM", Emeril style, hence the name.

> >

> > 96. Zombie - Right before you come while getting a blowjob, you withdraw

> > from her mouth, and shoot her in the eye unexpectedly. This causes her

to

> > stumble about the room feeling around for a towel.

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Originally posted by hdog

you know it is bad when you have your pic posted under a thread called lets post useless crap!

awwwww you wont think that way when hunnie puts that pic under hottie of the month next month suga plums:D

REeni - I dont know but my girlfriends boyfriend is a bayridge cop and he is Lebanese and french. All i can say is mmmmm mmm mmm mmmm mmmm. He is so handsome.

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