OK, serious question 4 the drug lords >>

[georgym]

I have been involved with this girl for some time now.

Now i have had my share with drugs, but not the hard stuff like coke or heroin. But i do know that she has dappled in these, as well as K and queludes.

Now it does kinda bug me that she got into these "harder" drugs (she did them all through the nose). I wonder what went down, what people she did this with. THis was for the ages 14-18 for her.

Now she doesn't do anything, not even pot, and i can see she's trying to get her life together.

Should her drug history really matter? Cuz im wondering if the fact that she did so much might affect her today... kinda like burned her out, and made her flakey

[lizard23]

If she quit everything and is clean instead of continuing to use and becoming an addict, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Does she act flaky or burned out? Chances are that if she just partied here and there for a few years, she's fine. Plus, there's nothing wrong with being a little goofy here and there to liven things up a bit (as long as she isn't so goofy that she needs a straightjacket.) Seriously, if you haven't seen strange behavior by now (and if it was from drug abuse, it's not something she can control until she knows you better), then I'm sure she's fine. Good luck!

[Crackorn]

I would say that at this point she probably is fine. Unless she was smoking glass or mainlining H (even that you can be fine from in time) I wouldn't worry. The fact that she doesn't even smoke weed now shows that she really got her act together and that is very commendable.

[shroomy]

I agree, if she is not doing any drugs now, she has showed a maturity and richness of character that is rare.

but there are a couple things I would want to be aware of. First of all, durring the years that she was doing the drugs, if she was using heavily enough, you really don't mature, you are simply not dealing with the reality of being a teenager, wich I am sure everyone will agree is a huge part of what kind of adult you become.

So it may take her a couple extra years to learn the lesons some of us learned.

second, I really wouldn't plan on doing any drugs around her. This may be fine for you, but they are a fairly important part (along with the friendships that are actually drug based) of many peoples lives. (rightly or wrongly)

but I gues the bottom line is, everyone is fucked up to some extent, the key to happiness is finding someone who accepts your quirks and you can accept theirs.

BTW I hate giving relationship advice. It is really such a crap shoot even if everything seems perfect.

[georgym]

Originally posted by shroomy

I agree, if she is not doing any drugs now, she has showed a maturity and richness of character that is rare.

but there are a couple things I would want to be aware of. First of all, durring the years that she was doing the drugs, if she was using heavily enough, you really don't mature, you are simply not dealing with the reality of being a teenager, wich I am sure everyone will agree is a huge part of what kind of adult you become.

So it may take her a couple extra years to learn the lesons some of us learned.

Yes, i think this is one issue that i have realized with her. The little things, like not wanting to get out of bed, being late, etc,, she's not good at. So i can see in certain areas that she's still learning things.

But the fact that she's been off any drugs for years does show maturity and a rebirth.

Thanks a lot guys. You made papa a bit more content

[FlipsSOE]

i've noticed that a lot of my friends, particularly those that are older (25-27) that have done a lot of drugs, are pretty damn lazy. more lazy than say other friends that age, that never did much. they have trouble getting up, have no desire to work etc. of course, i'm talking 7+ years of hardcore drugs. its tough to tell when your ahead, cause once you stop, your no longer high. think of all those bands who had so many hits and were successful while they were on drugs, but once they got sober; almost lose all ambition and eagerness to work, or put out something of quality. my suggestion, is that they stay as active as possible. work out, run, volunteer somewhere, etc. the more u stay immobile, the more likely you'll just sit there and sulk in nothingness.

[FlipsSOE]

Originally posted by FlipsSOE

i've noticed that a lot of my friends, particularly those that are older (25-27) that have done a lot of drugs, are pretty damn lazy. more lazy than say other friends that age, that never did much. they have trouble getting up, have no desire to work etc. of course, i'm talking 7+ years of hardcore drugs. its tough to tell when your ahead, cause once you stop, your no longer high. think of all those bands who had so many hits and were successful while they were on drugs, but once they got sober; almost lose all ambition and eagerness to work, or put out something of quality. my suggestion, is that they stay as active as possible. work out, run, volunteer somewhere, etc. the more u stay immobile, the more likely you'll just sit there and sulk in nothingness.

come to think of it. even less than that. 4+ years of partying.

[copahc]

Originally posted by gmccookny

Yes, i think this is one issue that i have realized with her. The little things, like not wanting to get out of bed, being late, etc,, she's not good at. So I can see in certain areas that she's still learning things.

But the fact that she's been off any drugs for years does show maturity and a rebirth.

Thanks a lot guys. You made papa a bit more content

I wouldn't worry about the laziness. I'm fuckin lazy as hell, and I really haven't done that much in the way of drugs. I think it's just a personality trait. As long as she's not to the point where she doesn't have any goals or anything, but that doesn't seem like the case at all.

So did she use those 'harder' drugs heavily? or just occasionally. I can't imagine that it was that bad if she quit. Heroine scares the hell out of me, but as for coke... if you had asked me about a year ago, was dead set against the shit. Then I actaually ended up trying it once. Don't know why. It was pretty stupid if you ask me. But I can't believe I did because I used to preach against drugs, and now there's a whole list that I've at least tried.

Oh well

[gambitrah]

Originally posted by FlipsSOE

i've noticed that a lot of my friends, particularly those that are older (25-27) that have done a lot of drugs, are pretty damn lazy. more lazy than say other friends that age, that never did much. they have trouble getting up, have no desire to work etc. of course, i'm talking 7+ years of hardcore drugs. its tough to tell when your ahead, cause once you stop, your no longer high. think of all those bands who had so many hits and were successful while they were on drugs, but once they got sober; almost lose all ambition and eagerness to work, or put out something of quality. my suggestion, is that they stay as active as possible. work out, run, volunteer somewhere, etc. the more u stay immobile, the more likely you'll just sit there and sulk in nothingness.

i agree with this to an extent..i for one partied HARD for almost 9 years (quit everything 1/1/00) and i mostly did cid and xtc...as ive said..enough to kill normal people...and at the time i was working full time and going to school full time..i have been doing that for the last 5 years starting in 97...i got my AS and am on my way to my BS, 1 year left there. there are always exceptions..but i agree most of these people get to burnt out to deal with sober and 'boring' 9-5's...

as for the advice on the chic that used to be deep into that shit...a lot of the girls i knew that were like that are semi flakey as well...most of them are leading normal active lives now..all of them have some sort of mental scars whether it be from being raped while fucked up (which is horrible enough as is) or from all the shit they did..most of them have some sort of health problems from that period of time...i would say out of the 10 girls i know off the top of my head that i still keep in contact with 5 or 6 of them have sexual std's of some variety because of their 'openness' to fuck during those times...and the scum people that were around that took advantage of that...i would question her mental and physical state...but thats just me...if i love someone they could have cancer or aids i wouldnt care..but i dont wanna get into a relationship and catch something i should have found out about from the other party...

i dont know if that helped or not :confused:

[georgym]

I hear what all of you are saying.

I don't think she got into the whole scene too deeply, but i do know that she did some pretty hard stuff occassionally. Which might have led to her doing things without a clear head, and her regretting it later on.

She doesn't like to talk much about it, and i try not to think of it. But when i see drug ads, or girls that made mistakes sleeping with the wrong guy, i can't help but think of her, and how that might have been her.

BUt for one, she hasn't done anything for 5 years. And she does have goals/ambitions, even if she is a little flakey/lazy.

We'll see what happens.... but i guess i shouldn't fill in the blank or even think about what she did back then

[gambitrah]

Originally posted by gmccookny

I hear what all of you are saying.

We'll see what happens.... but i guess i shouldn't fill in the blank or even think about what she did back then

wise words..u cant fill in the blanks without knowing the information...of course those blanks can definitly effect you later in life...

there are plenty of mental and physical conditions that she may be unaware of that may surface in the future...

who knows?