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A Letter from a Shore House Landlord...


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This is pretty funny... This was written to my friends last year.

Dear Evan and Matt (and please communicate this to Steve and other

> tenants):

>

> We got your note about the litter violation and were not really

> surprised. We inspected the property in response to the weed notice that

> was sent to us in July, and found numerous problems. We wrote you a

> long email just before we left for vacation, but unfortunately the PC

> froze and crashed, and we just didn't have time to reepat it before we

> left.

>

> In order to get your security deposit back please bear in mind that

> after the Labor Day weekend, when we retake possession of the property,

> it must be clean inside and out. You are responsible for that and should

> budget some real time for it. It may take a full day as far as we could

> tell from the dirtiness of the property.

>

> With respect to the outside, Janine went to the property and weeded most

> of the front and side yards. She found all kinds and nature of trash,

> broekn bottles, cigarette butts, etc. Please clean up side yards, front

> garden and window boxes of all trash, broken glass, Big Gulp glasses,

> cans, bottles, paper, etc. and butts. They were disgusting. It's good

> that you seem to have your friends smoke and drink outside, rather than

> in the house, but the trash can't simply be thrown into the yard.

> Perhaps ashtrays would help.

>

> Clean up the porches of trash and pizza boxes. They were also a pig sty.

>

> Mrs Wert indicated that some of you or your friends urinate in the side

> garden with the window boxes. Kindly refrain from such behavior. If you

> are feeling generous, water the new plants I put in (with water) if they

> did not die in the August heat wave.

>

> Replace glass on framed art that is broken, and rehang all of our art on

> the walls-- removing yours. Replace all furniture, lamps, etc. in usual

> place.

>

> Return all dishes, glasses, pots and pans to rightful place when you

> leave. If you have burned or destroyed any, replace them.

>

> Clean up the sand in the house. There was a thick layer of sand

> everywhere. Sweeping so much sand will not work. Cleaning up the sand

> requires a wet-dry vacuum run over the floors several times, then a

> double mopping. Especially if you are planning a big party over Labor

> Day. Cleaning costs will be deducted from security.

>

> The rug in the dining area looked very dirty. It must be dry-cleaned,

> as I recall. Check the tag on it. please arrange to have that done.>

>

> Do not keep house unlocked-- Janine was there about three hours (she

> left a note in the front door) and no one came back so presumably you

> were not on beach etc.

>

> The basement side yard window was left wide open. This is dangerous,

> unsanitary and unsafe. A cat, rat or worse could go in there and wreak

> havoc. There is no reason for you to ever go in the basement, unless

> electrical work needs to be done, in which case you should call us.

> Janine closed the window and locked it. Ensure that it stays that way.

>

> We will inspect the property probably the weekend of Sept 7th.t ensure

> its cleanliness for faily events throughout the September and October

> months.

>

> As you know, there is a CO for just ten people to sleep at the house. It

> was your job to ensure that beds and sleeping arrangements provide

> evidence that that mandatory rule of the CO is

> being observed. We learned from Mrs Wert that the police or code

> enforcement officers rousted you and your friends out of bed at an early

> hour. We did not receive a code violation for having too many people in

> the house, so we really do not know what happened there, or how many

> people there. But you have beds in the room at the top of the stairs,

> which is not allowed to be a bedroom. Remove any of the mattresses,

> couched, etc. you have put in there or elsewhere. Make sure all

> mattresses are clean and free of sand.

>

> Do not go into Mrs. Wert's front or rear yard and keep all trash out of

> her yard. Do not sit in her chairs or go on her porch. Or use her water

> hose.

>

> Thank you very much. It sounds like you had an enjoyable summer.

> Please make sure that we feel the same way when we return to the

> property next weekend. Janine and Ed

>

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i think they were being sarcastic. i rent a shore house every summer. in 2001 the place i rented had a plumbing problem and a pipe broke, right when i got there(1st day). instead of the owner compinsating me cause they had to have repairmen come from day 1 of my time there, they tried to hold my sec.back.

they are in it to make money and if any little thing pisses them off they want to keep your sec. i no longer rent under my name. but i complained and got my money back. lol.

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Hahahaha, that's great, I was just waiting to hear that they wanted you to gut and refurnish the entire interior of the house.

Dear Sir,

While you're at it why don't you go ahead and re-do the roof, it's been needing new shingles for the past few years (would explain for the leaks in the ceiling everytime it rains). And since we're in the D-I-Y's mood, why don't you go ahead and repaint the house too, it's been looking a little dingy.

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Originally posted by pipdaddy

hahaa. i wish i could post the letter we got from OUR landlord last year. the place was a mess when he gave it to us...and a mess when we left. id be interested to see who moves in there next year. shouldnt be too hard to break in since there are no DOORS

No doors.......I don't even wanna guess.....:laugh:

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Originally posted by SPYGIRL

No doors.......I don't even wanna guess.....:laugh:

i liked to refer to them as "pseudo-doors"

and the bastard kept our grill. you better believe we're going back to that house may 16th to claim what is rightfully ours...if its not there, we're stealing one or setting the house afire...

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Originally posted by ou812

Hahahaha, that's great, I was just waiting to hear that they wanted you to gut and refurnish the entire interior of the house.

Dear Sir,

While you're at it why don't you go ahead and re-do the roof, it's been needing new shingles for the past few years (would explain for the leaks in the ceiling everytime it rains). And since we're in the D-I-Y's mood, why don't you go ahead and repaint the house too, it's been looking a little dingy.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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been getting shore houses for about 6 or 7 years running now and have yet to EVER receive one penny back on our security deposit. in fact, most summers we've wound up having to pay even more.

i'd go into details about our last summer in seaside, but the fbi would probably be swarming my house tonight.

i will say this, if you're bleeding profusely from the head, you should try and stay off the newly built deck. blood stains wood.

also, try your best not to use a running chainsaw in the house at 6:00 AM for some laughs. could get ugly.

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